Mary Jane's Last Dance

http://www.tampabays10.com/news/mostpop/story.aspx?storyid=94328&provider=top

You'd think that being a mascot would be one of the safer jobs as far as security goes. Apparently not.

For the record, Raymond is fucking awesome and Kelly made Raymond awesome. Raymond's the AL's own Phillie Phanatic and... this sucks ;____________;

If her successor makes Raymond suck I'm going to be beyond pissed.

It's funny what October baseball can do to a gal. Now we're halfway into football season, and most of the way through college football season -- and I really haven't been following it extensively the way I did last year (or the year before that, for that matter). USF's having a painfully average season, and with the loss to Cincy, have dropped off the rankings. The Saints defense sucks yet again this year, holding back our terrific offense (BREESUS <3). Deuce tested positive for drugs, or really, drug-masking diuretics. Why, Deuce, why? :(

And that's about it really.

Uh, how much longer 'til baseball season starts up again? April? FUUUUUUUUUCK. Maybe they'll have spring training games on teevee. I would go to the spring training games if they weren't like an hour and a half to two hours away now.


Oh yeah, and King of the Hill got cancelled, too. At least they'll have enough episodes left to run through '09, but that breaks my heart. At least the show was consistently good throughout its lifespan, unlike the Simpsons or Family Guy.


Project Runway's done 'til next year. In fact, all the good shows on Bravo have wrapped up for the season, leaving me with atrocities like Real Housewives (gag). This year's USA version of Kitchen Nightmares hasn't been living up to expectations (the editing is worse oh god and I didn't think it could have gotten any worse). Once South Park's latest run is over in early December, I really won't have much to watch on the telly. I miss baseball. :(

Maybe I'll go out and hike more.

THE RAYS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES OMFG

I AM SO SERIOUSLY STOKED RIGHT NOW

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG



Ridin' down the highway
Goin' to a show
Stop in all the by-ways
Playin' rock 'n' roll
Gettin' robbed
Gettin' stoned
Gettin' beat up
Broken boned
Gettin' had
Gettin' took
I tell you folks
It's harder than it looks

It's a long way to the top
If you wanna rock 'n' roll

I wish it didn't have to come down to this, but it did.

You want me?
Well, come on and break the door down
You want me?
Fucking come on and break the door down
I'm ready

plus the obligatory

Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feeeeeeeeeeeelinnnnnnnnng

So nice I have to mention it twice!

http://www.overthemonster.com/2008/10/16/636078/playoff-announcers-a-modes

This speaks truth.

Something both Rays fans (me) and Red Sox fans (that blog) can wholeheartedly agree on (other than Yankees hate). We should team up to launch the TBS announcers into the sun. And Frank, too. We should have done that today if that were to be effective for tomorrow's game though. I wish there was some way TBS could know how many household televisions are on mute because their announcing is atrocious.

I pledge this, humble sirs and madames:

Have Rays-oriented commentary in this area (free Dewayne and Joe PLEASE). Have Red Sox-oriented commentary in the New England area. Everywhere else gets a couple of unbiased, intelligent announcers. All should know WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT. These guys on TBS? They have absolutely no fucking clue. They think we win games because of catwalks and our former sucky GM WHO HASN'T BEEN WITH THE TEAM IN TWO YEARS (ROFL), they think the Sox win their games because David Ortiz is clutch and the green monster (also ROFL).

thank god for radio broadcast, that shit is going on mute.

edit: I think, with all goofiness intended, that this series will also decide who wins the presidency. You heard it here first. Guess who represents who (the colors match up to party colors). If that happens I'll be all like :O :O :O :O haha.

I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE IT.

I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE IT.

HULK SMASH. HULK SMASH YOU IN THE NADS.

That is all.

PS: TBS and its jokes of "sportscasters" need to go fuck themselves for being the worst jinxes on earth plus knowing nothing about baseball. And that fatass Frank too. Your show sucks buddy and no one is going to watch it no matter how many times they repeat your horrid commercial with your flat, boring, hackneyed, overdone Dubya impersonation. And seeing adverts pop up for your godawful travesty of a sketch comedy show IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING GAME make me want to reach into my television set and punch you square in your bloated face. Words cannot describe how much I just want you to fall off the face of the planet and into total obscurity.

Also a great big fuck you to whoever that guy is who wears those ridiculous '70's looking suits that look like they came straight from the Anchorman set. He looks more ridiculous than Rod Roddy ever did, and Rod Roddy was made of awesome anyway, so it didn't matter how many sequinned blazers or goofy-looking ties he wore, at least Rod Roddy didn't jinx the fucking game by talking to Chuck Lamar, and the only good thing Chuck Lamar ever did was sign BJ Upton and Carl Crawford. I say good riddance; TBS wanted to hop all over his boner.

And what a boner it was. And not the happy, excited kind of boner.

I know what TBS stands for! Talk Bullshit!




... maybe they just wanted to win the series at home. Go get 'em on Saturday. I'll be watching, and awaiting nervously.

Ever since I re-watched that South Park episode "Guitar Queer-O", I can't get Kansas' "Carry On My Wayward Son" out of my head. All I can think of is Randy playing it on real guitar and Cartman saying afterwards, "That's gay, Mr. Marsh."

I can't believe my team is one win away from going to the WORLD FUCKING SERIES. I'm cautiously optimistic -- Boston has come back twice against being down 3-1, including last year. However, I think we've got a good chance.

My final thoughts:

Don't pull the thing out unless you plan to bang
Bombs over Baghdad
Don't even bang unless you plan to hit something
Bombs over Baghdad

It sounds so dirty, but whatever. That is all. XD

Goin' to the first game of the ALCS on Friday -- Rays vs. Red Sox. It has come down to this, a bitter rivalry between two AL East teams that boils down to the league championship. I expect it to be totally nuts. Getting there early so we can can go check out the stingray tank and the baseball museum before the game. :)

Chris' dad will be down here from VA visiting this week, so we got him a ticket as well.

Look for me on teevee guys! Game starts at 8 p.m. I'll be in the nosebleeds way down the third base line, more than likely holding a sign (or clutching a hot dog)

I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO BUY ALCS TICKETS GUYS

I'm so excited! We're TOTALLY going. We're pretty sure the game's going to be us vs. Red Sox at this point, and our rivalry with the Red Sox has become almost as big as the rivalry between them and the Yankees... so I expect full pandemonium. Maybe someone will get threatened with Tasers again. XD

MOHAWKS
BLUE AND YELLOW
COWBELLS
EXCITEMENT

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

*breaks out cardboard paper to make signs*

I feel like belting out Queen. I dunno, Queen just sounds so... celebratory. XD

I know "We Will Rock You" and "We Are The Champions" are the obvious tunes, but... my celebratory tunes have become "Fat Bottomed Girls" and "Don't Stop Me Now"

"We Are The Champions" shall be reserved for the future.





Like anyone cares about me talking about baseball anyway.





I've just about given up on writing because of the state the profession's in. It's become a joke. Writing has become a big fat joke.

Metromix has really turned me off to writing. Maybe it's a phase I'm going through. Maybe I just need to get away for a couple of months. Give me a few packs of good beer, a beach to catch some rays on, a body of water to search for sand dollars and cool-looking shells, the tide to watch go in and out -- and maybe I'll be good. I think Nathalie editing my article to read like a piece of shit really threw my creative streak and inspiration totally off its axis into outer space.

HI GRANT BALFOUR IS MADE OF WIN.

Also, EVAN LONGORIA and his two home runs <333333

Yes, we won. :D

RAYS ARE THE AL EAST CHAMPIONS!

Damn, it feels so fucking good to say that. We are the BEAST of the EAST!

(thanks yankees for making this all possible, beating the red sox)


Tomorrow I'm going to break out all the good beer. :D

RAYS CLENCH THE PLAYOFFS

RAYS CLENCH THE PLAYOFFS

RAYS CLENCH THE PLAYOFFS!

This is the first time EVER that we've done this... or had a winning season, for that matter. This is beautiful. This is a beautiful season. I wish I was there, but I was at the game last night during a historic first overturned call by use of instant replay in MLB :D

I'll post those pics when I get new batteries for my camera (my camera died in the fifth inning, right after the historic overturned call)

MAN I'M SO STOKED. If we can clench the division I'll be even more stoked. I'll throw a party in the street, dammit! We deserve it!

OMFG I THINK KAZMIR (Rays pitcher) BLEW THIS GAME ON PURPOSE. ...and if not, there'd better be something physically wrong with him because WHAT THE FUCK.

Also, a big WTF to Maddon for not pulling him until the damage was WAY TOO DEEP to come back.

I know there's tinfoil hat conspiracy theories floating out there that suggest that MLB itself or another large financial power (gamblers, ala the Black Sox conspiracy?) is buying them out to sacrifice their playoff chances, and I know that's silly as hell, but damned if the moves by Kazmir looked deliberate.

wwwwwwwwwwhaaaaat the fuckkkkkkkkkkkk.

I had to change the channel because I was feeling like hurling something at the TV. :(

Baseball

Rays: STOP SHITTING THE BED. PLZ. Postseason's, like, right around the corner! It's there! So why did you decide to drop three games against THE FUCKING BLUE JAYS again? I love you, but now's not the time to revert back to your old ways. You've got Boston to play now and you rarely win games at Fenway. :(

Also put Evan Longoria back in. We need that guy more than ever. We need our All-Star rookie third baseman who makes incredible catches and hits well! We need. To stop. The bleeding.

Red Sox: Be a dear and lose for us.

Yankees: Fuck off already.

Blue Jays: Suck it.

Football

Saints: Good job. Your D has proven to have turned itself around from last season in this game. Hope Randal Gay is okay. Thanks for hauling ass in this game, Bush. Keep it up. Keep kicking ass, Saints.


Love,
sexandpolitics

Ugh. Currently fighting writer's block and creativity fatigue. I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF WRITING THIS ARTICLE. I wish it would write itself so it would go the fuck away. Maybe I'm going through a period of disillusionment, I dunno, because I don't know what that broad wants anymore, other than shit (and I refuse to write shitty articles).

( and spell check isn't your forte either )

In other news, THE RAYS KICK ASS. Here's hoping we can beat down the Skankees in the upcoming series. This road series after the Wankees is going to be telling of their future; they play Toronto, Boston (we haven't won a game at Fenway yet this year, but it's reciprocal; they haven't won a game at the Trop either) and then the Yankees again. If we can win most or all of those series, or even win half of the games, here's looking up to the postseason.

What an amazing story. I've glad I've been a fan. :)

Hopefully tomorrow I'll have at least an explanation as to why my article was changed into a pile o' Frankensteined crap. The whole ordeal has kind of put me off on writing another review until I can be certain that it won't happen again without my consent or knowledge beforehand.

It kind of makes me want to branch out and start my own local entertainment blog. That way, I could have full editorial control and make sure that all content are quality pieces. Who knows? If I learn enough coding and manage to turn it into a social networking site as well, it could mean BIG BUCKS AND NO WHAMMIES. (idea's mine, but if anybody wants in...)


In other news, today the Rays got gypped out of a win against the White Sox because of a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE call by the umps in the bottom of the tenth inning. Basically, they rewarded cheating. It was a bullshit call, and the announcers on the network I was watching were appalled; they said it was one of the worst decisions they have heard of in the last thirty years.

How come everything good in the world has to be marred by cheaters?

EDIT:



50/50 split between intuition and sensing. Last time it was 51/49. Hrm. Maybe I'm... both? ROFL.

http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=10541

I think our nation has now become a nation of overly-sensitive butthurt pussies. For godsake, in the movie they're talking about a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. IN A MOVIE. This "controversy" (lol) makes me want to go see it even more now. Thanks, LOLlywood!

Also, two of the best Rays players are now on the DL. Carl Crawford's got a hamstring injury that could possibly be season-ending, Evan Longoria, our star rookie third baseman (and our home run leader) is out with a broken wrist and will be out two to three weeks. I hope that the team can hold down the fort while they're gone, and hopefully can hold on to our AL East lead! I think we can do it; our backup players are extremely capable of playing multiple positions as well as swing ing the bat, especially Zobrist, who's in for an injured Bartlett (shortstop). I believe!

I also sent an email to one of the people at the St. Pete Times about employment opportunities. The worst they can say is no, right? I'm not getting my hopes up at all, but if it pans out that would be awesome.

Yay, I'm excited to see Tom Petty later today. I hope he plays some of the classics, especially "Runnin' Down a Dream" because that's my song. This might be his last tour so I'm honored to see it :D

Also, AMERICAN LEAGUE WINS AGAIN (woot) and Dan Uggla is made of fail (three errors lol). Also, Evan Longoria owns you. The end. :)

Chris and I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind tonight. It was our first time watching it in four years, and we got all weepy afterwards. <3

Also: WTF IS WITH THE RAYS LOSING. Do they miss Jason Bartlett THAT MUCH? GAWD (yes, I care about baseball, and just WAIT until football season! good times)