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018. 12/03/97
PRIVATE TO SELF/AGAINST PROFESSORS
What the fuck? Are Fred and George sodding psychics? How else would they know that sending me that shite now would be more embarrassing than ever with all the ruddy sex dreams I've been having? They're bloody evil... Satan's spawn, I swear. Figures they were born on April Fool's Day. Fitting, isn't it?

What the hell am I supposed to do with that stuff? Not like I can would use it. Though the book looks rather interesting. If I even mentioned the owl to Hermione she'd flip out. Where am I even supposed to put it? I bet if I tried to chuck the stuff it'd jump right back in my hand or something. Sounds like something Fred and George would do.

Fucking hell. Do not think about sex products and Hermione. Do not think about sex products and Hermione. Do not think about sex products and Hermione.

Damnit. Too late.
END PRIVATE

PRIVATE TO HARRY/AGAINST PROFESSORS
Fred and George sent me an owl. With new products of theirs. Sex products. Some Kama sutra book, a lust potion and handcuffs. Merlin, mate, what the fuck am I supposed to do with that stuff? Hermione will flip. Help me out here? What do I do with the stuff? Where do I put it? How do I keep Hermione from finding it?

Help. Please. AND DON'T YOU DARE TELL GINNY.
END PRIVATE TO HARRY

Who invented big brothers? Seriously. I'd like to have a talk with him or her.