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I've been wanting to write how I feel for a long time. I've been blocked. SO blocked. It's not that I can't write, I just can't capture what I feel. Weird things make me cry lately. Last night I watched A Walk To Remember, and bawled. Literally. SOBBED. The entire movie...and I don't cry in movies. I read Catcher in the Rye this afternoon (which is my fall back activity when i have nothing else to do), and I feel so much like Holden. And I started to cry. I love him, and I love that growing up hurts him in the way that it does. I love that he feels that. So I cried. Because growing up hurts. And I feel blind. Then I went to Starbucks, and I saw a father tying his little girl's shoes, and that's when I really felt it...that's when I really felt my heart ache. My eyes just filled with tears. I think that it was just that one gesture of so much love. It was the way he tied her shoe, and the way he held her hand when they left. It was the most innocent, beautiful thing that I have ever seen. I don't know what has happened, but over the past few weeks my heart has softened in a way that I don't know how to write about. | ||||
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