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xxsmallzxx ([info]xxsmallzxx) wrote,
@ 2008-12-31 14:35:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry

well...its been a while & boy let me tell ya a lot has happened. ..

Me not being able to go off to college this year has been nothing but a bummer for me. I was looking forward to that chance of getting away from everything i needed to exclude myself from. which consists of my mother constantly bringing me down, and the chaoticness of this house.
SO with not going off to college in August i began working. I had it good i was working two jobs, and i thought everything was going good at the Smallwood resisdence, boy was i mistaken clearly. Bc when October came along it all went down hill. Mom kept fighting with me and my sister and in result she kicked me out. At this point i knew i needed to get the hell out of there anyway bc i was so sick of this constent drama of worrying if my moms gonna blow up again, and the way she treats me sometimes i just dont deserve it. SO my dumbass moves in with this new boyfriend i just started seeing. YEAH clearly a bad mistake. but that lasted until Dec. so about two and half months of living with him. Thought things were good....oh no why would things go good in christy smallwoods life right? As soon as it goes good it all falls apart i've learned that i need to accept that. Anyway.... i found out he's not only lied ot me about basically everything i thought i knew about him, but he's also a prick. Bc in the two months of the relationship i got pregnant, YES if things couldnt get worse....LADIES watch out bc birth control is NOT 100% effective and somehow with my luck i get knocked up with birth control. So what does he do... he leaves me hanging. He now has a new girl yeah took him what like 5 hours to get a new one? Anyway he's apparrently been with her in the past and she broke up with him bc he cheated on her like 3 times... yeah and they are back together?? She's not dumb or anything...anyway she told me that HE's NOT HELPING ME with this whole pregnant thing bc she DOESNT want him too bc she doenst TRUST him. okay one how is that my problem...two this situation happen long LONG before he started talking to you again so yeah. ANd apparently he's not helping bc he doesnt want to loose her...
yeah so im in a situation ... a big one.. alone. I mean seriously how could someone be so heartless and mean. ?? 

I don't even know what  I want to do. I mean i think about all the options i have and they all sound good.. especially ones that dont involve him for 18 years.
I just wish there was a way to make him want to help .... i cant do this alone..
So that means i'm back HOME.. yeah....again... yay....



More...In november my aunt and uncle were in a very awful car accident..both died. SO my family is still copping with that. It's def. hard. But everyday is jsut a new day. I just think of them as on a vacation at a very happy place and one day i will join them..

Christmas was okay. I got to see my dads side of the family which made it a little better than okay i suppose. It was nice seeing them. but a little weird too bc i havent seen them in sooo sooo soo long...



well im gonna try to use this thing more often...we'll see


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