wallie (wallie) wrote in 1978,
@ 2012-09-08 13:43:00

Walden didn't like the Lestrange Estate. The furniture was all too small and flimsy for him, and Bellatrix was a nosy bitch who didn't know how to mind her own business. He just wanted to go home and be alone in his dirty, sturdy castle without all the house-elves to bother him.

Only then he'd probably get lots of visits from Rabastan or something. Maybe. Walden was refraining from mentioning Remus Lupin, but Remus Lupin still existed and it had been two days since Rodolphus had talked to the stupid Aurors about Rabastan coming home and it had been in the papers and Lupin, the fag, had sent letters and a Christmas present and Walden was sure at least one of those letters was asking to visit.

He wasn't a fag. He wasn't jealous. That would be stupid. Walden walked into Rabastan's bedroom, where he'd set up camp for the time being, and sat next to Rabastan's bed. He was lying there while he recovered from being in a cage with very little to eat for a few weeks. "Did you get more letters today?"

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lebruised
2012-09-08 11:58 pm UTC (link)

This wasn't what Rabastan wanted to go through at that moment. He looked back at Remus for a moment, then decided to go with the truth. The whole truth. He wasn't going to hold anything back from him.

"When I was a young boy, around three or four years old, my father allowed Walden Macnair Sr to do horrible things to me." He explained. "They would both rape me together. When Walden hurt my brother, they made him go away. But, my father never stopped." He shrugged. "So, after making friends with Walden Jr, we decided to kill my parents."

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mycardigan
2012-09-09 12:44 am UTC (link)

Remus opened his mouth to say something and then realized he was mind was blank. He had no response to that. Rabastan's parents were dead. He didn't know about walden Sr, but it would make sense. The Macnairs weren't rich. It probably wouldn't get headlines.

"Oh," he said. His mind caught up with what was going on and he frowned. "I -- I can't say I never fantasized about killing Greyback. I would, if I ever got half a chance, but you... what does this have to do with us breaking up?"

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lebruised
2012-09-09 01:00 am UTC (link)

"My father was in a relationship with Walden's father at some point. When Walden's father found out what we did..." He paused and looked Remus over. He had to be careful with all that he said.

"He kidnapped me." Rabastan admitted and looked at Remus. "He locked me in a cage and didn't feed me. Didn't let me out unless he was fucking me." He shook his head. "Walden saved me. And now.. I feel like I owe my life to him."

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	mycardigan 2012-09-09 01:08 am UTC (link)
	Remus gave Rabastan a sad look, not because of the break up, but because of what they other boy had gone through. "Bastan, that's horrible. Did you tell the Aurors?" He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, touching the other boy's hand. "Have you talked to anyone about what happened? Healers? Your brother? Walden doesn't... seem like the talking type." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lebruised 2012-09-09 01:29 am UTC (link)
	"No. I haven't talked to anyone." Rabastan told Remus and shook his head. "In all honesty, I haven't talked to anyone other than Walden." He ran a hand through his hair. "Everyone has been crowding me. I just wanted to be alone." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mycardigan
2012-09-09 01:37 am UTC (link)

"Oh," Remus said. He pulled his hand back from Rabastan and sighed. "I just... I don't know," he said, closing his eyes for a moment and burying his hands in his hair. "I've been so worried and I love you and it's really hard to just... understand that you're actually breaking up with me. That you actually don't want to be with me anymore." He gave Rabastan a sad look. "Maybe I just don't want to believe it."

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	lebruised 2012-09-09 01:57 am UTC (link)
	Rabastan looked back at Remus and sighed softly. "I love you too, Remus. I really do. Breaking up with you is.. It's really hard for me. Which is why I didn't want to face you. Because I still care about you a lot." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mycardigan
2012-09-09 02:01 am UTC (link)

Remus wasn't sure he believed that, considering how short the letter had been, but he leaned in and kissed Rabastan for a long moment. "I suppose this means I'm uninvited from your welcome home party."

He laughed, humourlessly, and touched Rabastan's face, running his fingers through the other boy's hair. Remus fought the urge to lick Rabastan's cheek as he pulled back. "I should go before your boyfriend gets back."

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lebruised
2012-09-09 02:11 am UTC (link)

Rabastan stared at Remus for a moment, after the kiss had broken. He only barely heard his words. He slid his hand into Remus's hand for a moment and then felt himself start to cry again, shaking his head.

"Why couldn't we have just ran away together?" He asked, feeling himself break. "Like we'd planned. It had been such a good plan. I wanted to be a good boyfriend and love you and have you love me. And to read books. And to open the little bakery with the book shop. Why couldn't I just have that instead of what was forced on me?"

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mycardigan
2012-09-09 02:23 am UTC (link)

Remus stared at Rabastan for a moment and then moved closer to him, grabbing his hands and holding them tightly. "You could," he said. "Still. Rabastan, you think I don't still feel everything? I do. I promise I do. I love you. I want all that."

He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. "I shouldn't be saying these things. You have feelings for someone else. Someone you went through a lot with. It's not fair of me."

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	lebruised 2012-09-09 04:47 pm UTC (link)
	"Don't you have feelings for someone else as well?" Rabastan asked quietly as he looked back at Remus. He reached up with a shaking hand and ran his fingers through Remus's hair, then kissed his temple softly. "I've seen the way you still look at Remus. It used to make me crazy jealous." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mycardigan
2012-09-09 09:32 pm UTC (link)

"No," Remus said, sighing as he sat back, pulling away from Rabastan a little. "I don't. Sirius and I may have slept together once, but he's got a girlfriend now." And they were fighting because Sirius didn't approve of Remus dating a pure-blood. He'd gotten hurt, but not for the reasons Sirius thought.

"I'm sorry I made you jealous," Remus said, glancing up at Rabastan. "I didn't know."

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	lebruised 2012-09-09 09:57 pm UTC (link)
	Rabastan slipped his hand into Remus's hand, then reached up and ran his other hand through the boy's hair. He kissed him softly, pressing a little close. "I'm sorry that I hurt you." He whispered. "I really do love you. But, I'm not good for you, Remus. My family is fucked. I'm a murderer. You deserve so much better than me." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mycardigan 2012-09-09 10:06 pm UTC (link)
	Remus wished Rabastan would stop saying he loved him, or at least stop trying to make it seem like he was breaking up with Remus for his own good. "I'm a werewolf," he reminded Rabastan, touching his cheek. "Don't talk like that. I'm the one who has issues, not you. I'm probably going to be dead by the time I'm forty. At least Walden will be around for you." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lebruised 2012-09-09 11:37 pm UTC (link)
	Rabastan frowned at that and shook his head. "No." He told him. "You're not allowed to die, Remus. You're my best friend. You're my only friend." He admitted and then ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mycardigan 2012-09-09 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	"It's not really up to me, Rabastan." Remus pulled away. "This was a bad idea. I don't even really know what I came here for. I should go." He looked at Rabastan for a moment, then leaned in and kissed him softly. "I'm really glad you're safe." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lebruised 2012-09-10 12:27 am UTC (link)
	Rabastan looked back at Remus sadly. "We're not going to be friends anymore. Are we?" He asked, his voice full of sadness. He closed his eyes for a moment, then took a deep breath. "I'll miss you." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mycardigan
2012-09-10 12:39 am UTC (link)

"No, probably not," Remus said, glancing at Rabastan. If he tried to stay friends with Rabastan his other friends would definitely stay mad at him. "I'll miss you too." He brushed his hand against Rabastan's and then stood, pulling back. "I'm sorry it didn't work out. I'll... we'll see each other at Hogwarts." He got up and left the room. It felt like if he didn't they'd be there saying goodbye forever.

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