"Bah, twas mine own mistake. I wilt not let either of thee be abandoned 'pon Valentines Day. We canst see to other dalliances another time, for today... we hath all of Los Angeles and San Diego's restaurants for dinner and lunch alike, and a vast stretch of beach to ourselves. Doth either of thee surf? And if not, still I wouldst gladly see to both of thy needs for drinks, massage, suntan oil... whate'er else might be useful in such times, to see the both of thee in bikinis."
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