Vincent Amorason (quitethecharmer) wrote in marvel_nextgen,
@ 2010-05-27 21:04:00

Entry tags:

On The Couch
Vincent takes a deep breath. Doctor Samson hadn't spoken yet, waiting for him to make himself comfortable. He lays down on the couch, then sits up, then lays back down again. He turns on his side, facing out the window. Samson's office had an excellent view. The place always smelled like crushed peppermint as well. He wondered if that was just for him, or for all his patients. It was probably just for him, or only a few others. Samson was meticulous like that.

Before it had been a full five minutes into the hour, he finally cleared his throat, speaking up.

"So.. It was my idea to seek some manner of professional help. Kristoff agreed it was in order and chose you."

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	nextgen_parent 2010-05-27 11:12 pm UTC (link)
	Peppermint was actually a fairly common smell in Leonard's office, but the issue wasn't actually being discussed at the moment. "I'm flattered. So, where to start?" (Reply to this)(Thread)

quitethecharmer
2010-05-27 11:22 pm UTC (link)

"Generally, at the beginning, so I'm told." Vincent replies casually, sitting up a bit more and turning to the doctor.

He relates the full account of what he was starting to mentally label as 'the Asgard incident'. He then goes on to describe the incident with the latest dimensional exile to show up. With some effort, he keeps the description of events objective, leaving out internal motivations, his as well as those presumed of others.

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	nextgen_parent 2010-05-27 11:28 pm UTC (link)
	"So, before we get into the latest occurrence, how were you feeling coming home from Asgard?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

quitethecharmer
2010-05-27 11:35 pm UTC (link)

"Worried. Nervous." He pauses. "Skittish even. Some of the greater extent of my choices had begun to sink in by the time the way home had been made ready." He considers something. "I... I don't know if guilty is the right description, but something within range of that."

He picks up a rubiks cube off the table, turning it over a few times to memorize the color placement. He begins solving it with his eyes closed.

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	nextgen_parent 2010-05-27 11:38 pm UTC (link)
	"What had begun to sunk in? What had you been thinking when you made the decision, and what changed?" A pause. "Nervous habit? I'm impressed, don't get me wrong, but why are you doing it that way?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

quitethecharmer
2010-05-27 11:50 pm UTC (link)

"How the others would see it. How my family would feel because of it." He takes a deep breath, fighting off the urge to go on at length about his heritage, the spark that filled the realm, and so on and so forth.

"I felt... like it was completing who I was supposed to be; and to a lesser but still very significant extent... they were people in front of me, people, however powerful, in danger, asking me for my aid." His jaw tightens for a moment. "Not just people asking for help, but these people asking me for help."

He keeps his eyes closed but shrugs. "I'm very intelligent." It's a less complex (three words and less than half a dozen syllables in the longest word), and less satisfied presentation of the fact than usual. "Operating it with my eyes open isn't challenging enough to be interesting. I find the handling of shifting components to be somewhat satisfying in any instance however."

Another pause. "The process is of more interest than the completion."

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nextgen_parent
2010-05-27 11:57 pm UTC (link)

"Gotcha. Specifically these people. So if New York was falling apart, portals to hell were opening, Andrea had just been through a horrific, powerless shock, and the Eternals whisked you away and asked for your assistance in their predictably eternal struggle -- with some phenomenal cosmic power thrown in -- you probably wouldn't have taken them up on it? Just to be clear." From Leonard's tone, he could be clarifying just about anything. There's no particular heat or edge to his voice at all.

"Okay," Leonard says simply in response to the Rubik's cube explanation.

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quitethecharmer
2010-05-28 12:09 am UTC (link)

"No." The reply is immediate, and self-assured. His eyes almost open. Two sides of the cube are completed. "I simply would have felt worse right away, and been rightfully terrified to be entering a battle on such a scale as a human. Asgard offered me completion, along with asking for aid." He pauses. "The 'phenomenal' bit, was that implied as what they would have offered, or the threat?

If you mean it as a boon, I wouldn't have accepted it. It would not have been myself. I would have been... aberrant.

But I still would have answered the call for aid. I'm not a hero, Doctor, or certainly not one of the same scope or purity of character as my family on Earth, but I feel confident in saying that I've been saved by those with little to no reason to help me enough that I couldn't turn away from someone asking me for help."

A pause. "Lady Rahne Sinclaire and her pack, my brother, and the Richards."

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	nextgen_parent 2010-05-28 12:12 am UTC (link)
	"Just using a silly movie line to express that you'd be adequately equipped for Eternal-related shenanigans in this hypothetical scenario," Leonard clarifies at the question. "But no big deal. So... no matter who'd whisked you away at that point in time to ask for your help, you wouldn't have taken the opportunity to go home? Am I understanding you right?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

quitethecharmer
2010-05-28 12:19 am UTC (link)

Vincent's body tenses at 'no matter who'.

There is one.

There will always be one.

"No... not for him. If I found myself called by my blood father, I would have run as fast and as far as I can, admittedly screaming and invoking every scraplet of technological and magical prowess at my disposal." His response is quiet and miserable. He feels ashamed.

"But for anyone I deemed deserving of aid... I want to believe so. I want there to be that much good in me, and I'm fairly certain I believe there is." He clears his throat as he visualizes a third side being completed.

"As I said... I can't even feign the notion that that was the greater reason, but I hope it was the one that tipped the scales."

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	nextgen_parent 2010-05-28 12:25 am UTC (link)
	"Dr. Doom is pretty much the only person you can think of offhand not more worth helping than New York on that particular week?" He asks perfectly calmly. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

quitethecharmer
2010-05-28 12:48 am UTC (link)

"He's the only person I can think of that isn't worth helping ever..." The sentence should have ended there, but he lets out a sigh. "He's the only person I don't think I could bring myself to help. Alternate dimensions aside."

He works a bit more quickly, finishing the cube and putting it aside, opening his eyes to confirm it, before running his hands over his face.

"Even knowing what I know now... I can't say for certain that I would have acted differently." It clearly bothers him to admit it. "I was excited... I felt important, recognized... like who I was, who I was born as, meant something. Like I was part of something bigger than just being the bastard half-blood son of a monster and a witch. I was..." He grunts, holding his forehead.

"'Home' doesn't even come close to covering it. I know in my head and in my heart that Kristoff, the Richards, the Grimms, Storm, ....Andrea... they are my family and the Baxter Building is my home." He chooses his words carefully. "But Asgard... it's something inside me. A living breathing energy that reaches out to me. Call it divine influence, or... possibly just the memories of a little boy who felt he had nowhere he belonged." He scoffs.

"But then, I'm not supposed to be the one analyzing me, am I, Doctor Samson?"

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	nextgen_parent 2010-05-28 01:42 am UTC (link)
	"It's Kristoff's dime," Leonard says calmly. "Feel free to regale me with the deeper meaning. I mean, god forbid you could just have screwed up." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

quitethecharmer
2010-05-28 04:07 am UTC (link)

Vincent blinks, turning to face Samson.

"What is 'just' have screwed up supposed to mean? I've effectively destroyed my relationships with those closest to me. Kristoff is just about snapped in half, Cassandra is disgusted, Franklin would just as soon pitch me in a wormhome, Valeria doesn't talk to me, and I have nothing with Andrea anymore.

Oh, and as if everything else wasn't enough, a close friend of mine... may no longer exist in the quantifiable sense."

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	nextgen_parent 2010-05-28 04:12 am UTC (link)
	"Yes, any minute now, Fenris will break out of whatever it is they've got him in and eat the sun," Leonard says drily. "And I'm sure whatever's left of that friend of yours would just love the fact that her predicament is just yet another symptom of Vincent's Great Tragedy." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

quitethecharmer
2010-05-28 04:25 am UTC (link)

Vincent cringes slightly and exhales sharply. "Observation noted... excuse me for venting on an unrelated issue. It's counterproductive, I know that now."

Deep breaths. Take in some of that peppermint. The leather of the couch. The faint dampness from the air conditioning.

"I don't know how to fix this. I don't have the scientific acumen of my brother or Richards, but I'm supposed to be smarter than this. Capable of better decisions. Just.... better."

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	nextgen_parent 2010-05-28 04:30 am UTC (link)
	"And is that why you have to have been justified? Why it has to have actually been the right thing to do all along, accompanied by unfortunate tragic misunderstandings Because you can't have simply been wrong? Isn't there something in between the Heroic Epic where your fan club greets you upon your homecoming....and your own little Euripides play?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

quitethecharmer
2010-05-28 05:05 am UTC (link)

Vincent... well, there's no other way to put it. He gapes. Even goes so far as to sputter a bit.

"I... that's not... " He runs a hand through his hair, pulling his knees up towards his chest. "I live in extremes. I'm good at subtlety when I want to be, but... when it's part of setting up something big."

He looks at Samson.

"So it was wrong and all the hurt I've caused was for nothing?"

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	nextgen_parent 2010-05-28 05:09 am UTC (link)
	Leonard shrugs. "I'm a psychiatrist, not an ethics expert. But it seems to be an idea you're trying really desperately hard to avoid. That it's a screw-up, not a tragedy. Civilization does not come crashing down because Vincent WhateveryourlastnameissorryIforgot screwed up. That time will heal wounds that Vincent can't wave away." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	quitethecharmer 2010-05-28 05:14 am UTC (link)
	Vincent goes quiet, black and white swirling together to make many shades of gray inside his head. "I... I don't need to be able to fix this just like that?" He says it again, his inflection shifting. "I don't need to be able to fix this." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	nextgen_parent 2010-05-28 05:17 am UTC (link)
	"You don't need to be able to fix this just like that," Leonard echoes quietly. "And guess what? That's Not An Instant Fix, Either." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	quitethecharmer 2010-05-28 05:23 am UTC (link)
	Vincent's head snaps up, surprised by the sudden shift in tone, particularly the severity of it. "Yes... yes I know that." He's trying to get used to this feeling of still carrying some responsibility, even while a large amount of weight just fell off his shoulders. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	nextgen_parent 2010-05-28 05:26 am UTC (link)
	"Great," Leonard says, the picture of calm again. "Tell me what you know you've got to think about right now." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	quitethecharmer 2010-05-28 05:28 am UTC (link)
	The answer is succint and stated with resolve. "Kristoff." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	nextgen_parent 2010-05-28 05:31 am UTC (link)
	Leonard blinks slightly. "Okay, that sounds like it could be a place to start. How is Kristoff? You said something about snapped in half?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)