Definitely a mask. And a good one. Not so much being ok with it as having accepted the inevitable long enough ago to be able to deal. He'll never be ready for the place he sees in his dreams. The dreams... which are the real reason he always has the bottle, and wakes up with hangovers. They beat not sleeping.
"I don't think a normal life is possible. I help out the team, run my garage some days for a little cash on the side. Enough to cover my bad habits and road trips.
Bet you're wrong though. Bet there's plenty of guys who'd like to kiss you. You just don't know it."
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