evanrosier (evanrosier) wrote in mudbloods,
@ 2013-06-18 04:40:00

It was very obvious that Lucius was working later and later and more hours a week than he normally had. Evan understood that Lucius had an important job and that he was also checking in on Merlin a bit and taking him groceries. Evan was thankful for this, of course, but he missed his husband. He was spending all his time alone in a flat because Rowan had decided he'd be staying with his mother. And Evan didn't have children of his own.

He was sitting alone and sulking to himself, reading a magazine he wasn't actually interested in when Luciius came in. Evan was unsure if he should even try to touch him. The last few times he'd tried to be intimate, the other man had told him he was tired and immediately went to bed. Evan ran his eyes over him, then looked back down at his magazine, feeling like bursting.

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evanrosier
2013-06-18 07:02 am UTC (link)

Evan looked back at Lucius. He wanted everything to be fixed. He wanted them to be happy again and to be in love again and for Lucius to look at him the way he had before. Like there was no one else in the world he'd rather be with.

"I don't need a flat to be happy with you." Evan told him. "I need you to love me like you used to and want me like you used to." He closed his eyes. "Is there someone else?"

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luciusmal
2013-06-18 07:10 am UTC (link)

Someone else. Lucius didn't want to lie to Evan, but he also really didn't want to tell him the truth. The last time he'd cheated on Evan, Evan had left him. He'd relapsed that time. This time his cheating was all from his own stupidity.

"I've never loved anyone else the way I love you," Lucius promised. "You and I... the way I feel for you, Evan. I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. I want things to be better too. I want to give you the love and attention you deserve."

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	evanrosier 2013-06-18 07:12 am UTC (link)
	Evan was not stupid. Lucius had not answered his question. And suddenly, he was sick to his stomach. He felt like throwing up. Lucius had cheated on him again. Again. After all the years that they'd been together. "Who is it?" He asked, his voice demanding. He got up out of the bed. "Who the fuck is it?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	luciusmal 2013-06-18 07:18 am UTC (link)
	Lucius didn't want to answer. He stared at Evan for a long moment, feeling worse than he'd thought possible. Why had he ever thought this was a good idea? He closed his eyes for a moment. He was going to lose this. He was going to lose Evan and he'd deserve it. "Merlin," he admitted. "He needed someone to talk to and it just... it happened." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

evanrosier
2013-06-18 07:21 am UTC (link)

Evan stared blankly at Lucius. It hadn't sank in right away, the fact that Lucius was sleeping with his seventeen year old nephew. His innocent nephew who was seeing their son. Who was so new to being gay and so afraid of it. And was easy to take advantage of and manipulate.

When it did sink in, Evan felt his heart shatter. It hadn't felt this bad the first time. This was bad. This was knees wobbling, body breaking bad. "I have given you my entire life and this is what you do to me? To my family?" He shook his head. "I'm leaving, Lucius."

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luciusmal
2013-06-18 07:27 am UTC (link)

Lucius scrambled up from the bed, grabbing Evan's hand. "No," he said, giving him a desperate look and shaking his head. "Evan, please. I'll do anything you want me to. I know it was stupid. I know I shouldn't have done it. Don't leave me."

He tried kissing Evan's hand again. "I need you. You're the father of my sons. I can't -- I know how bad this is. I know how bad I am, but I love you. I promise I can make it up to you."

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evanrosier
2013-06-18 07:32 am UTC (link)

Evan pulled his hand away from Lucius and punched him hard in the mouth. "Don't you fucking touch me." He told him, pushing him back against the wall. Now he was angry. The fact that Lucius thought he could make this up to him was infuriating.

"How are you going to make this up to me? Huh?" Evan stared at him, tearing up again. "You can't fucking make this up to me, Lucius. You cheated on me with my fucking nephew! Your son's boyfriend! I would rather fucking kill you than you try and make this up to me."

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luciusmal
2013-06-18 07:39 am UTC (link)

Lucius had no idea how he could make this up to Evan. He stared at him for a long moment, feeling his own heart breaking. "You're the only person I ever wanted to spend my life with," he said. "I love you."

He grabbed Evan again. He just wanted to make him stay. To erase his memory and flat out lie. Say there was no one else. Say the someone else was some kid at work and not Merlin. "Please, Evan."

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evanrosier
2013-06-18 07:43 am UTC (link)

Evan shook his head and looked back at Lucius. He couldn't do this. He couldn't just forgive him after all of this. This was unforgivable, no matter how much he loved the other man. Never in his wildest dreams could he have imagined Lucius doing something so stupid.

"Why don't you go stay with Merlin?" Evan asked. "Since you're obviously much happier with him than you were with me."

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	luciusmal 2013-06-18 07:46 am UTC (link)
	"I'm not happier with him," Lucius said, shaking his head. "I don't -- There's no one else, Evan. There never had been. Not really. Only you. Always you. I'm such an idiot." He pulled his hands away from the other man. "I'll go if that's what you want," Lucius agreed. "I'll stay in a hotel. By myself." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

evanrosier
2013-06-18 07:51 am UTC (link)

Evan closed his eyes and shook his head. He refused to feel guilty about this. Lucius had managed to break his heart again. After all the years that they'd been together. They'd built a life together.

"I could have forgiven you if it had been anyone else." Evan told him quietly. "I can't forgive this, Lucius." he slid down to the floor, curling his knees up to his chest. "I have loved you since I was sixteen years old. And I can't forgive this."

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luciusmal
2013-06-18 08:00 am UTC (link)

Lucius sank to the floor beside Evan. "I've loved you since I was twenty-one," he said quietly. "I've loved you since I was in control of my life enough to love someone. Maybe... Maybe one day you'll be able to forgive me."

He gave Evan a desperate look. "I know I don't deserve it. I do. I just..." Lucius shook his head. "I don't want to lose you. I'm such an idiot. I knew I was an idiot when it happened. I felt so ashamed of myself as soon as it was over." And the only way to stop the shame was to do it again and reignite the excitement that came with the prospect of being caught, but that Lucius would keep to himself. The thought of losing Evan... He should have known better than to risk the life he had to fuck a teenager.

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evanrosier
2013-06-18 08:03 am UTC (link)

Evan shook his head. He didn't want to forgive Lucius. He wasn't even sure he could. Mostly, he felt like he couldn't breathe. He rubbed at his face, trying to calm himself down so he didn't hyperventilate. He felt so miserable.

"I'm going to get up and pack some things for myself." Evan told him quietly. "I won't tell my sister, but don't expect me to run back to you."

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	luciusmal 2013-06-18 08:06 am UTC (link)
	"You should stay," Lucius said. "You should... Unless you want to go to France with Christina. I should be the one who leaves. I'm the one who fucked everything up for us." He hesitated, looking at Evan for a moment. "Will you tell Draco?" he asked. "Merlin loves him." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	evanrosier 2013-06-18 08:12 am UTC (link)
	"It's not my place to tell Draco." Evan told Lucius quietly, shaking his head. "I don't want to be the one who breaks his heart. I love him." He pushed himself up from the floor and started to pack some of his things. "This isn't my home. This is yours. You stay." (Reply to this)(Parent)

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