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[22 Sep 2012|12:48am] |
Remus Lupin loved Sirius and Regulus and the family he'd built for himself, but he hated being trapped in a run-down cottage in the middle of a Muggle village, waiting for someone to find him. It was why he snuck out to Diagon Alley sometimes, why he knew what his wanted poster looked like. He was certainly more prone to thinking a situation through than Sirius, but the wolf in him longed for action with a ferocity that made the cottage hard to bear.
He hated Greyback. Hated the idea of crawling back to his maker and doing everything he would have to do to convince the man that he was loyal still, but he hated the cottage more. Remus didn't wait long before he set their somewhat-hastily made plan into motion.
First, he had to find Greyback. This wasn't hard. The one thing Remus had been able to do from the cottage was collect information, and even if he didn't have the rumours from Sirius about Greyback making a deal with Riddle, even if he hadn't heard that the pack was in Scotland, he would have been able to find him.
At age eight, Remus had been turned. His father had done something, something Remus couldn't remember anymore, to upset Greyback, and Greyback had responded the way any werewolf with a fondness for children would. Remus's parents had kept him for three months before it was too much for them, the stigma and the trauma, and the fear, and they'd given him to Greyback.
Remus had never felt the urge to go looking for his parents.
Remus hated being with Greyback, but Greyback loved him. He'd been a slim, blond child and those were Greyback's favourites. Remus was smart enough to pretend he didn't hate his maker and pack master. He was smart enough to live through ages nine and ten. He even managed to talk Greyback into making contract with Riddle about letting Remus into school, although if Remus imagined the conversation now he imagined Riddle's resounding "no" delayed only by his laughter. So Remus didn't get to go to Hogwarts, but he did beg enough galleons to buy himself a black market wand, and he did read enough books and muddle through enough magic to teach himself everything he could.
Greyback knew Remus was clever and tenacious, and it was another reason he liked him. Remus, after the first few weeks with the pack, hadn't cowered. He did what he had to do because he had to do it.
Greyback spent more time than most werewolves in the underbelly of the wizarding world. He liked to brag about his ties to Riddle, although mostly the pack were just dogs for hire. Riddle tossed them some money and they took out whoever needed to be taken out. Greyback would drag Remus to meetings in Knockturn Alley pubs with one of the Macnairs and they'd smirk and give co-ordinates and probably make snide comments about Fenrir Greyback and his fondness for pretty boys.
Remus let the comments roll off him. He kept as clean as he could. He kept his clothes in the best shape he could. He looked after the other young members of the pack as best he could. He did what he had to do with Greyback.
Greyback's attentions wavered when Remus his puberty, although not completely. Remus was always small and under-fed so it wasn't like he'd suddenly turned into a man or anything. Remus took advantage of the time he now had when Greyback wasn't paying complete attention to him and took to sneaking into pubs and public Floo access points and going to Knockturn Alley, or even sometimes Diagon, to read more books and practice more magic.
He learned history and current events and read novels and plays and poetry. He walked into the Muggle world and marveled at the freedom he felt there often. It was especially easy to beg for change with muggles. There was more of them and they were more giving.
At fifteen, confident enough in the spells he knew for protection and to get the smell off before he saw Greyback again, Remus turned the skill-set Greyback had given him into another way of making money. It was dirty and usually at least mildly unpleasant, but he'd had worse things in his mouth, running with the pack. It wasn't like anyone was hiring uneducated half-blood werewolf shop boys, and the money was useful. Remus could feed himself and any kids who happened to be with the pack with what he made. And Muggles, at least, didn't know there was a dark thing curled inside him that could tear them open if they ever tried to hurt him. The wizards could usually tell by his scars and his age and the state of his clothing, but they were wizards so they let their guard down thinking he was a stupid half-breed, and then got off on the idea of fucking an animal.
He was in Knockturn Alley, looking for someone drunk and stupid enough to get sucked off by a werewolf, when he met Sirius for the first time. Sirius was flawless. His high cheekbones and grey eyes and black hair and cool, expensive clothes. He was walking behind a cackling Bellatrix Black, his arm looped with Narcissa's, and he was so obviously bored and annoyed with the two girls that Remus couldn't help laughing a little.
The three of them had gone into a shop and a moment later, Sirius had come out and said hello to him. It had been obvious to Remus that this was someone he could proposition. Sirius obviously had money, and none of the other people in the alley were quite willing to meet Sirius's eyes. He was important, or at least his family was, and he was beautiful and bored and would probably find paying an exorbitant price for a blowjob somewhere filthy entertaining enough to accept the offer.
So Remus kept the offer to himself and there, suddenly, was his first friend. Eventually, his first reason to leave the pack. Later there would be Moody and his offer of further tutoring, his talk of revolution and change, but first there was Sirius.
Greyback didn't know about Sirius, of course, because Remus was careful to cast spells to get rid of the scent of the people he loved. Greyback was a jealous master, even if thirty-six was too old for him. Remus had left the pack officially, finally, when he was twenty-two. Regulus had been born then, and Moody's plans were getting more and more dangerous. Playing the pack and being part of the resistance had been too difficult to maintain, so he'd made the easy choice. Up until Moody kidnapping Merlin Riddle, Draco Malfoy, and Pansy Parkinson, it had been easy to go about resistance business as long as he used a false name. It wasn't like anyone knew him from school.
Moody had died during the rescue, so it wasn't like Remus's face becoming known was the worst thing to come out of it. He could still remember how terrified Parkinson had been when he'd pushed her into the kitchen as the front of the house exploded, and the way Riddle yelled at him when healed Malfoy's head wound the werewolf way instead of with a spell. Brats. Regulus had been a lot like them, though. Spoiled rotten.
If the plan worked, Remus was looking forward to seeing Regulus at Hogwarts. He was never able to come to the train with Sirius, but he liked getting his letters -- even if he was always addressed in the third person, like a dog, and called Moony. He could make sure he never wanted for chocolate when he was studying.
Remus carefully cleared his mind of thoughts of the past and Sirius and Regulus and put up his Occlumency shields, just in case, and then apparated to Scotland, where Greyback's pack had last been spotted.
He caught their scent almost immediately, and then he sat and he waited because if he could smell them that meant someone was near enough to report his presence to Greyback.
Remus didn't have to wait long.
"Well, well." Fenrir Greyback grinned, exposing fang-like teeth, yellowed and worn, as he sauntered out of the forest towards the rock where Remus had taken a seat. "Lupin, what the fuck do you think you're doing back here, you traitor?"
"I'm not a traitor," Remus said, and then Greyback's hand was around his neck. Remus fought the instinct to snarl at the other man. He locked his gaze with Greyback's and stayed perfectly still, waiting. Eventually, Greyback's grip loosened enough to allow him to speak. "Imperius," he said. "I escaped."
"Imperius?" Greyback frowned. He had very little magical education of his own, but everyone know the Unforgivables.
Remus nodded. "For years," he said. "I couldn't -- they wanted a pet wolf and I was the only one stupid enough to go wandering on my own."
Greyback grunted in assent. He'd always hated Remus's wandering. "Why should I believe you, pup?" He paused. "Not such a pup anymore, are you? It's a shame. You were such a pretty thing."
Remus bared his throat for Greyback again. "You can choose not to believe me," he said. "But kill me if you don't. I'm tired of being outside the pack, and if they find me again they'll just replace the curse."
Greyback leaned in, his teeth brushing over Remus's neck. Remus forced himself not to flinch when they dug in, just hard enough to draw blood. Then Greyback was pulling back. "Imperius," he said again. "It sounds like the fuckers, doesn't it? Just fucking like them, thinking they can leash a wolf." He looked Remus over. "You'll have to prove you can run with us. Prove you're not soft."
Remus let the part of him that he kept to himself, the dark thing that was always coiled in the pit of his stomach, ready to pounce, come to the surface. He smiled. "I know," he said. "I'll do what I have to do."
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