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scorpius malfoy (scorpi) wrote in paddedrooms,
@ 2013-02-01 03:51:00

Scorpius had slept with James Potter. It was a weird feeling, walking around Cepheus and James's flat, after that. He certainly didn't feel the same way about the couch anymore. And he and James had spent a day now acting like it never happened. Scorpius wanted to talk about it. He wanted to tell someone so he could keep remembering that it was real and it was supposed to be a step forward, having rebound sex. Now it would be easier for him to not be in love with Albus forever.

Scorpius sat beside his brother on the couch, chewing on his bottom lip as he contemplated his take-out Chinese food, and then decided it was time to give in and gossip. James had said they weren't together. "Something happened while you were out yesterday."

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	pheus 2013-02-01 09:49 am UTC (link)
	Cepheus was watching his soaps when his brother came over to sit beside him. He'd noticed that Scorpius had seemed a little bit better, which was good. He didn't want his brother to be so sad all the time. He smiled at him. "Oh yeah?" Cepheus asked, grinning. "Did you invite Rex over or something?" (Reply to this)(Thread)

scorpi
2013-02-01 09:53 am UTC (link)

"Rex?" Scorpius repeated. He shook his head, laughing. "No. Rex is for Lavinia now, I think. We're just friends. He doesn't want to be with someone who stood him up once and I don't blame him."

He poked at his food, glancing at Cepheus's soaps. "James came home from practice and I'd just gotten out of the shower and was coming down to get some food before I retreated to your room again. I thought I was alone so I didn't bother getting dressed and it just kind of... happened."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

pheus
2013-02-01 10:00 am UTC (link)

James. Cepheus felt like his heart was twisting in his chest, tightening so he wasn't able to breathe. James had slept with Scorpius. His brother. Out of all the people he could have slept with in the world, he'd chosen his brother. And that hurt way more than if he'd slept with anyone else.

Hadn't they made a pact to not sleep with anyone else? To only be with one another? He was doing his best not to cry as he looked back at Scorpius, trying to hold his feelings and emotions in.

"You-" He cleared his throat, trying to make the lump go away. "You slept with James?" He asked, then looked back at the telly. He felt like screaming and crying and punching Scorpius in the face. "Why would you sleep with James?"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

scorpi
2013-02-01 10:05 am UTC (link)

Scorpius felt Cepheus's mood shift, but he wasn't sure why. Cepheus and James weren't together, right? And they argued all the time. Cepheus didn't even really like him. Maybe Cepheus thought it was a bad idea, sleeping with Albus's brother.

"Everyone said I needed to have a rebound," Scorpius said. "And when I was talking to Rex, he thought it would be good if it was James. Because he's so handsome and he lives here." He glanced at Cepheus. "Are you... Are you mad? I asked James if you two were together before it happened and he said you weren't. But... are you?"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

pheus
2013-02-01 10:12 am UTC (link)

Cepheus reached up and ran a hand through his curls, trying to calm himself down. Yes, he was mad. He was upset and hurt and everything was shit. Everything. Was. Shit. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"We're not together." Cepheus shook his head, then burst into tears, unable to hold it back. He turned his face away from his brother, wiping at his eyes. He was going to be sick.

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scorpi
2013-02-01 10:16 am UTC (link)

Scorpius suddenly felt a lot less good about sleeping with James. He should have known. Even if neither of them had admitted to it. He should have figured it out somehow. He put his food on the coffee table and touched Cepheus's arm. "Phe, I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't know. I would never have done anything if I'd known."

He reached up, touching Cepheus's curly hair. "It wasn't -- he didn't care about me or anything. It wasn't like that. God, I'm sorry."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

pheus
2013-02-01 10:19 am UTC (link)

Shaking his head, Cepheus pulled away from his brother. "Don't touch me." He told him, trying to stop crying and to catch his breath. To even be able to breathe. His chest felt so tight as the tears splashed down his cheeks.

"Just... leave me alone." He looked at Scorpius. "You should have known. How could you not know? I moved in with him. I spend all my time with him. He was my date to Dad's party. You knew. Part of you knew. And you still did it."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

scorpi
2013-02-01 10:27 am UTC (link)

"I didn't know!" Scorpius insisted. "I thought -- How am I supposed to know when both of you keep saying you're not together? Maybe I should have known, but I didn't and you two keep saying you're just friends."

James liked living in a fancy building with a nice gym, even if his rent was higher now. He felt guilty about sleeping with Scorpius, but maybe Cepheus didn't have to know about it. Even if he was supposed to be working on not feeling things for Cepheus. Life was confusing.

James opened the door to the flat to the sight of Cepheus crying and Scorpius looking panicked. His heart dropped into his stomach immediately. "Cepheus? What's wrong?"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	pheus 2013-02-01 10:29 am UTC (link)
	Cepheus looked at James and laughed bitterly, then lifted both his hands to flip him off. He stormed up the stairs so he didn't rip James's head off or something as equally jail worthy. Once he was in his room, he started grabbing things and throwing them around, breaking some of his things. He fell onto his bed and began to cry harder. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

siriuslyjames
2013-02-01 10:36 am UTC (link)

James stared after Cepheus for a moment, then looked at Scorpius. "So... he knows?" he guessed.

"Fuck you," Scorpius said, getting to his feet and grabbing his coat. He shoved James out of the way of the door. "Do you have any idea how long Cepheus spent feeling like he wasn't anybody's first choice? Just -- I shouldn't have kissed you, but you shouldn't have let it turn into sex. He fucking loves you." Scorpius shoved James again. "You asshole. I'm not staying here anymore. Cepheus won't want to see me now." He left the flat, slamming the door behind himself.

James wasn't sure what to do. He felt shell-shocked. Cepheus was furious, obviously, and hurt, and what did Scorpius mean, Cepheus was in love with him?

James ran up the stairs to Cepheus's room and then stopped in the doorway when he realized he had no idea what to say. "I... I'm sorry."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	pheus 2013-02-01 10:38 am UTC (link)
	Cepheus looked at James from where he was sitting on his bed. He wiped at his eyes so he didn't look so pathetic. He closed his eyes and shook his head, standing up. He grabbed his suitcase and started going through his drawers. "Go away, James." Cepheus told him. "I don't want to hear your apologies. I'm leaving." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

siriuslyjames
2013-02-01 10:42 am UTC (link)

"I want to apologise," James said. "You can't leave, Cepheus. This is your flat. Your brother already left after calling me an asshole and telling me... things. Where would you go? I can go." Maybe. Hopefully not. He had to leave for his roadtrip in a couple of days. Maybe Cepheus would forgive him by the end of it.

"I didn't know you had feelings for me," he said, walking up behind the other boy and grabbing his suitcase. "Don't run away."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

pheus
2013-02-01 10:48 am UTC (link)

"You're not stupid, James. Don't give me that bullshit." Cepheus pushed more of his clothes into suitcase as James tried to pull it away. He grabbed it and pulled it back, frowning at him. He wanted to break down and cry.

"You slept with my brother. After giving me shit about sleeping with my ex-boyfriend." Cepheus looked up at him, tears filling his eyes again. "You just fucked my brother after he was dumped by yours. You truly are low. I have places I can go. Now fuck off."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	siriuslyjames 2013-02-01 10:55 am UTC (link)
	James opened his mouth to protest, or maybe tell Cepheus how he felt, but now seemed like a bad time. He didn't want Cepheus to just throw it back in his face. "I'm going on that road trip in a couple of days anyway. I can leave." He took a couple steps back. "It's not like I'm in love with your brother." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

pyxis
2013-02-01 10:59 am UTC (link)

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? The fact that you fucked my broken hearted brother for your own pleasure?" Cepheus asked as he looked back at James. He wanted to hit him. Or strangle him. But, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"I liked you, James." Cepheus told him as he picked up his suitcase, doing his best to not collapse and cry again. "I tried to hint at you to date me when we were talking about looking for boyfriends. I was falling for you. I just..." He shook his head. "I don't even want to look at you anymore."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

siriuslyjames
2013-02-01 11:02 am UTC (link)

James didn't like how this was going. At all. Cepheus kept talking about his feelings in the past tense. Like they were gone, poof, like that. James had just felt jealous and angry when Cepheus had had sex with Xavier.

"I didn't mean that I only fucked him for my pleasure. I meant I don't love him because I'm in love with you," James said. "I like you. I fell for you. I want you to be my boyfriend and I don't want to stop looking at you or stop trying."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

pheus
2013-02-01 11:08 am UTC (link)

Cepheus didn't want to hear that. He didn't want James to tell him that he loved him. He didn't want to hear about how much James wanted him and wanted him to be his boyfriend so they could ride off into the sunset on a unicorn shitting rainbows.

"You've ruined it." Cepheus shook his head. "When I first met you, I told you not to sleep with my brother. I liked you. I liked you the moment you jerked me off at that party when I was thirteen." Tears slipped down his cheeks. "You slept with my brother after saying you didn't want me to sleep with anyone. And I agreed to not sleep with anyone else. Because I wanted you. I wanted to date you. I wanted to be your boyfriend."

He paused and shook his head. "And now I don't want to look at you. I don't want anything with you anymore. The rent is paid for a year. Stay here. But, I can't. I can't be here with you anymore."

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siriuslyjames
2013-02-01 11:12 am UTC (link)

"You think I haven't liked you for just as long, Cepheus?" James asked, although it was only just now occurring to him that this was the case. "Why do you think I tried so hard to get your attention all the time? Just... This shouldn't ruin everything."

He touched Cepheus's hand. "I don't want it to be ruined. I can fix it, Cepheus. I can make you want to be with me again. Just give me a chance."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

pheus
2013-02-01 11:17 am UTC (link)

Cepheus wanted to give him that chance. But, even just looking at him made everything hurt. Especially the hand on his hand. The touching. The being close to him. He looked at his suitcase.

"You can't fix this." Cepheus told him quietly. "No one ever wants just me. I'm never the one that people just want. There's always someone else. Do you think I don't know how you've looked at Scorpius before? How you always joked about shagging him? I'm probably just your filler for him. Just like I was a filler for Xavier and Caspar."

He almost broke down. "I have to go."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

siriuslyjames
2013-02-01 11:21 am UTC (link)

"If anyone was the filler it was him, Cepheus," James said quickly. "Not you. Never you. When I joked about shagging him, I always told you you were my favourite twin too. You're the one who likes scary movies and gets in fights with me. You're the one I always tried to get alone. You're the one my grandmother loves."

He shook his head. "I'm not like Xavier. Maybe I'm an asshole too, but not like that. You're not filler."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

pheus
2013-02-01 11:29 am UTC (link)

Cepheus looked back at James for a moment, then grabbed him and pulled him down into a deep kiss. He had to let himself have this just once more. To have him close and to hold him there. To kiss him. To need him.

He closed his eyes and pressed close, still crying and he kissed James. Trying to pour every bit of what he felt for the other boy. Trying to make him feel everything he felt. And then he was pulling back and shaking his head.

"I've got to go." He told him again. "I have to."

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