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halloweentown!!! ([info]halloweenish) wrote in [info]politico,
@ 2009-12-14 22:32:00


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Entry tags:adam, reagan

adam, reagan
As much as Reagan wanted to fall apart, he wasn't allowing himself to. Eventually, he'd managed to fall asleep, and when he wokeup the basement was completely quiet. Everyone seemed to have fallen asleep judging by the steady breathing he heard from each little cell. He got up and went over to the suitcase that Adam had packed, and he sat down on the ground to sift through his belongings. Halfway through, he found a shirt that was Liam's. It was a dress shirt, white, simple. Reagan had ones just like this, but he knew the difference between his and Liam's shirts, and he felt tears sting his eyes as he brought it up to his face to inhale the familiar scent. He wanted to curl up with the piece of clothing and just break down, but he had to keep his head clear, so he swallowed down the urge and folded up the shirt carefully to tuck it back inside the suitcase. There was a dresser, but the idea of putting things away made him feel sick to his stomach.

After a moment, he pulled out a simple thin white t-shirt and a pair of black slacks, along with some argyle socks and a pair of boxer briefs. He got up and slipped into the teeny bathroom to take a long shower, and it was then that he finally cried, though he did so quietly. After he'd brushed his teeth, he came back out into his cell and went to sit down on the bed, his hair still damp and curling at the ends a bit. He twirled his wedding ring back and forth around his finger before he took it off and slipped it into his pocket. He didn't want to risk Adam seeing it and taking it away.



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[info]halloweenish
2009-12-24 04:29 am UTC (link)
"All right," Reagan said softly. He couldn't help but feel a little special. Something told him that he wouldn't just offer that information up to just anybody. "Would you want to see him again?" he asked after a moment. "Callaway, I mean." He furrowed his brow at the question and lowered his gaze. "You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. I'm not trying to be nosey, I'm just... If I'm quiet for too long, then I'll think about things and I don't think I want to do that right now." He wasn't ready for it.

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[info]impotentwaffle
2009-12-24 04:58 am UTC (link)
Parker could understand that, recalling how much worse it had felt in the beginning knowing he was coming down to an empty basement. Even if Parker didn't always talk to the other boys it felt better knowing they were there. He thought about the question about Callaway. "Yes, I can't repay his loyalty with rejection." And he desperately wanted to see him again.

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[info]halloweenish
2009-12-24 05:07 am UTC (link)
"What's he like?" Reagan asked as he scooted the edge of the bed again and reached for his suitcase. He pulled it towards him by leaning forward, and he fished out a pair of striped socks to slip them on. He sat back up and wiggled his toes as a quiet sigh escaped him. All he could think about was home. Dinner with Liam, always late, but he never minded.

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[info]impotentwaffle
2009-12-24 05:27 am UTC (link)
Parker swallowed and offered a shrug. "He's very talented, a writer. Patient, calm. Sometimes he was so calm all I wanted to do was rile him up, get him angry. Most of the time I didn't know what I wanted but he always waited, handled me perfectly. Tall, wirey but strong. He held me more tightly than anyone in my life and I used to wish he would just crush my bones with the force of it." A little morbid, but that's often the way Parker thought.

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[info]halloweenish
2009-12-24 05:34 am UTC (link)
It may have been a little bit morbid sounding, but the artist in Reagan understood Parker perfectly, and he smiled a little sadly before he scooted back up onto the bed so that he could lay down. He stared up at the ceiling, and for a moment, he tried to picture what Liam was doing right then. It was nice to imagine him enjoying something, but Reagan knew better. Liam was probably stressed beyond belief at the moment, maybe even more than Reagan was.

"That reminds me of this painting I did, I named it I'd Let Them Make Buttons Out of My Bones For You," he said after a moment. "You know, like for a sweater, or a coat, to keep him warm." Him being Liam. He'd painted it for Liam. "That sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?"

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[info]impotentwaffle
2009-12-24 06:17 am UTC (link)
"That doesn't sound ridiculous at all. I like that very much. What do you paint? Is it abstract? I'd like to see your work sometime." The pure work, not what he might paint in here because it would be tainted with Adam. He could imagine someone making a pretty coat out of his remains for Callaway. It was a strangely comforting.

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[info]halloweenish
2009-12-24 06:24 am UTC (link)
"Yes, it's mostly abstract," Reagan answered as he closed his eyes with a quiet sigh. "But there are some pieces I do that are more cohesive, I guess it just depends on my mood. Liam turned the basement into a studio for me, so I could work from home. Like I did when I lived in New York." He paused, remembering something Parker first said when they'd spoken. "You said Adam's been talking about a painter for a while, more than a year. Has he been watching me for that long?"

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[info]impotentwaffle
2009-12-24 06:46 am UTC (link)
That made Parker recollect the fact that Callaway had said they weren't ready to live together. It still felt a little like rejection, but it hardly mattered anymore, it was so far away.

"Yes. He used to talk about going to shows and how amazing you are. It's twisted, but I think I've become almost an accomplice to him. He tells me things, like he knows I don't have it in me to do anything about it."

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[info]halloweenish
2009-12-24 06:50 am UTC (link)
"Parker, you're not an accomplice," Reagan said softly as he opened his eyes again. "He trusts you, and that's not a bad thing. You've done what you've had to in order to survive, and that makes you human. At least you still want to survive after all this time, maybe you've been holding on for a reason, even if you never realized it."

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[info]impotentwaffle
2009-12-24 07:35 pm UTC (link)
That had never occured to him. Parker had been suicudal at times in his life, but he'd stopped with that when he'd met Callaway. The man had given him some stability and certainly something tangible to live for. Reagan saying it made it more real though. "I guess so," he conceeded though he did still feel a little guilty, but Reagan was helping with that.

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[info]halloweenish
2009-12-25 02:52 am UTC (link)
Reagan rubbed at his eyes before he slipped beneath the covers and curled up. He couldn't help but wonder just how much longer they would all have to endure this, and he knew that it was a bit selfish to compare himself to the others - especially Parker. But he wanted to go home. While his faith in Liam was strong, there was a part of him that was afraid that maybe he'd never see his husband again, and that terrified him. He closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh, exhausted from stress. It wasn't long before he fell asleep.

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