Victoria Cadwallader (beavertails) wrote in valesco,
@ 2011-11-16 00:37:00

Entry tags:

Ian!
Victoria would've been lying if she'd said that she hadn't thought about Ian in a more-than-friends capacity since they'd started having play dates for the girls. He was a handsome man, they got along well enough ... and most importantly, he didn't just shy away from the idea of having a daughter. It seemed so stupid in retrospect to think that Vinny had been ready for children, but he'd seemed so happy with the idea of it at the time that she hadn't thought too deeply on the matter.

What a mistake that had been. Maybe Mira was right -- she just needed to gauge whether Ian had any interest in her or not. She wasn't about to end up on the wrong end of an unrequited crush (again). Sure, things had eventually worked out with her and Vinny ... at least for a time, but that had been a long enough road. She didn't want to go down that path a second time.

She apparated to outside of Ian's place and lifted her hand to knock; it still seemed bizarre to her that the floo network actually went inside peoples' homes. It was so -- invasive. She took a deep breath and smoothed down the hem of her shirt out of habit; being this nervous around someone she already knew she was friends with was ridiculous. She was a strong, confident woman, and she had every right to move on as fast as she wanted to from Vinny. It would help her get over him, obviously.

Ian's sister had Ava until later this evening, so Victoria knew she had a little time to talk to Ian alone.

"I brought Indian."

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gimmeabell
2011-11-16 08:06 am UTC (link)

Ian would have been lying if he said he hadn't thought of Victoria in a more-than-friends capacity as well--the difference was, he was lying. He had been lying about it for a while, to himself, because he didn't want to think that way about her.

It wasn't that she wasn't a good person, or attractive, or fun to be around. It was just that somehow -- despite that Liz had clearly moved on from her life with him -- he didn't know if he was ready to move on from his life with her. It had been a long time that things had been over and yet he still felt like letting go was... wrong, in a way. Liz couldn't remember at all what their life had been like together, but he still did. He was the only one who did, so if he let go, did it all finally disappear?

He didn't want it to disappear. He had been too happy to just up and forget that part of his life.

But there was Victoria, popping into his life being a good person and attractive and fun to be around, and it was all he could do to spend more time with her. And now there was no boyfriend making her unhappy and---no, Ian, that was the last thing he needed to be thinking about as she showed up at his door for dinner. Bad Ian. Stop that.

"You know I'll eat it," he responded, just a hint off beat, as he let her in.

This was a dilemma.

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beavertails
2011-11-16 06:18 pm UTC (link)

They hadn't exactly been friends for long enough for her to be really certain that he sounded a bit off, so she simply pushed that part of her thoughts aside and stepped in.

She still wasn't as bouncy or cheerful as usual, but at least she no longer looked like she was constantly going to burst into tears. Mira had been oddly helpful, even if the girl didn't exactly know the details of what had been happening with Vinny in the long-term. Ian -- did, though. He could probably have figured out this was coming better than she could've, in retrospect -- but now was not the time to think about that.

Victoria headed into the kitchen to fish down some plates, smiling faintly. "No alcoholic beverages, though. I think my stomach needs a break." To say the least. "And I'm sure you wouldn't want a repeat of the other night; I might get used to using you as a pillow."

...that had not come out like she'd been hoping it would.

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gimmeabell
2011-11-17 05:23 am UTC (link)

"You are lucky that you are in a delicate emotional state, or else I'd have made a very crude joke just now."

He shot her a smirk as he followed her to the kitchen, not really wondering if he should joke about her breakup... Well, he wasn't really joking about it... and in his philosophy on life, if you couldn't laugh about things, you had to cry. She'd done enough crying already, so maybe a little humor here and there would help. Or blow up in his face and upset her.

Either way.

Ian nudged Katie's high chair back towards the wall and exchanged it for the stools that were supposed to sit in front of the island, when there was not a princess in the house demanding to be fed. He quickly grabbed a couple of sodas out of the fridge and set them down as she pulled out the food, and slid himself into one of the seats.

"No worries, I don't think I'm allowed to drink anyway," he said. "Finn's being all weird lately and riding my ass about 'being good' since he thinks he's going to get fired or something." Ian blinked, as if remembering something. "--oh, right. I didn't tell you that."

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beavertails
2011-11-17 05:28 am UTC (link)

"So instead, you're just going to express your desire to make a very crude joke out loud to me? Seems about the same to me." She set the food down on the island and then raised an eyebrow at him. Well, some Quidditch gossip column would have a hay-day with that -- fortunately, Victoria had no reason to tell anyone, or even care (past the point where it might effect Ian).

"Ah, I gotcha. He wants to make extra-sure his old-horse-self isn't going to get sent to the glue factory." Was that even a euphemism they used here? She was about to find out, she supposed.

"Anyway, I think my liver could also use the break." She grabbed one of the sodas and started doling out food onto the plates. "Hopefully he's not tiring you out too much. I mean, you've still got to have time for Katie." And may for a good lady-friend as well...

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gimmeabell
2011-11-17 07:25 am UTC (link)

He was pretty sure that he wasn't supposed to have said that, but--- oh well. Victoria probably understood the gossip and all of that better than most, and he trusted her even beyond that. Nevermind that he wasn't really sure when during their relatively short friendship he'd begun to think of her as such a close confidant, but that's how it seemed to be.

Ian shrugged. "No idea the stick's up his arse for about it, really," he said. Well-- even if he did trust her, he didn't have to say everything. "He's a brutal captain either way, though. I'm used to it. Gets the job done, if anything... no offense, but we're going to win the cup this year."

Grabbing a plate of food just about the second the food hit it, he dug in. Regardless of being used to intense practices or not, they still gave him a ridiculous appetite. "I see Katie enough still, but I'm not gonna lie and say it's not easier with Liz taking her so much these days."

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beavertails
2011-11-18 02:35 am UTC (link)

She couldn't help the quick glance down to the ground when he spoke about how things with Katie were easier now that Liz wanted to take her more often.

"Yeah, I'm just -- glad my brother decided to move over here. I hope he decides to keep it permanent; Vinny hasn't really -- he's not really interested in raising Ava. Which is fine, I guess." It wasn't fine, really -- it wasn't as if she'd been the one to make him Ava's godfather, after all. It was just as much his responsibility as hers.

"I honestly don't care if we win the cup this year. I don't play to win, I play because I enjoy the game." And because she was good at it. Both those things together.

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gimmeabell
2011-11-20 08:59 pm UTC (link)

Ian frowned through a bite of tikka masala, feeling something of an unexplained annoyance at the mention of his friend not wanting to raise Ava. That was wrong of him, he thought, and tried to shake it quickly... but being a father himself, he just couldn't not get a the smallest bit upset at the idea of Vinny not taking responsibility as godfather. Or maybe it was just at how it had been left to Victoria alone. Neither had meant to come to raise a child; the least that could be done was to stick with it together, even if they weren't together.

"Don't say it's fine," Ian spoke out, setting his fork down on the edge of the plate and catching her straight in the face. "It's not fine, and I'm not afraid to admit that, even if he is my friend. And you don't need to pretend it is, to me."

Sighing, he crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat, the food suddenly not the most important thing in the room. "He doesn't have to pretend to be her father, but he does need to do something. Neither of you asked for this, so it doesn't matter who wants to do it."

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beavertails
2011-11-21 01:53 am UTC (link)

"I'd rather him know better than to get involved with her if he's just going to disappoint her," she said with a frown, "but no, it's not fine. It's -- stupid, and I feel stupid for thinking it was going to be fine." Oh, she was already getting all worked up about this -- but at least she didn't feel like she was going to cry any more. No, now she was just -- angry.

"It's not like I can just -- give her to anyone else. Vinny might not feel responsible for her, but I do." Victoria was suddenly put-off her food -- she too shifted in her chair, but moved to drop her elbows down onto the counter with a scowl. "Even if Ava wasn't in the picture, though -- I was dumb to think Vinny would ever really be over a woman he left the damn country over."

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gimmeabell
2011-11-23 04:45 am UTC (link)

Ian raised his brow as she spoke, not really buying into the logic her mind was forming about the situation. Maybe it was because he didn't know what it was like to raise a child that wasn't his, but it seemed an entirely foreign concept to Ian to not feel responsible for a child that was your responsibility. Or how you could just give up on helping raise them after getting to know them.

Yep, that's probably what it came down to. He just didn't get it.

"Well, you're all she needs then," he finally settled on. "And whatever was or wasn't meant to be with him, it's passed you by now. There's no use berating yourself over it, and all you can do is get up, brush the dust off, and move on."

Funny, that was the same advice he had been telling himself since Liz had left. Come to think of it, maybe that wasn't the best thing to tell her, considering he hadn't yet been able to follow it himself.

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beavertails
2011-11-23 04:52 am UTC (link)

It was true; she didn't really have any reason to believe him, given how difficult it had obviously been for him to get over Liz. Granted, he'd presumably been dating Liz for much longer than she'd been seeing Vinny, since his kid was almost the same age as Ava.

"Easier said than done, I'm sure you know." That was as catty as she was going to get on that note, though; he was her friend and she -- had enough confusing feelings for him that she didn't need to add 'slightly angry about hypocrisy' to that list. She sighed, picking at her naan and stuffing a small piece into her mouth.

"Any tips, Mr. Expert?"

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gimmeabell
2011-11-27 08:18 am UTC (link)

"I'll give you that," he said with a nod to her former comment, raising up his can of pop at her before taking a long drink. Maybe if he imagined it was strong liquor, he could somehow make himself believe he was washing away the memories of his failed marriage.

Nope. Nope, that wasn't working at all. Nothing ever did.

Ian shrugged uncomfortably, trying to think up some good advice -- something his friends or parents had said to him, maybe... But then again, he hadn't followed any of it very well, so who's to say it would help her. That was just the issue. It was all easy to say when you weren't in the situation.

"To be honest with you, I don't know," he finally answered. "Just one step in front of the other and one day at a time, I guess. Isn't that all anyone can really do?"

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beavertails
2011-11-28 01:04 am UTC (link)

"Darn, I was hoping for some sort of miracle cure." She furrowed her brows and drained the rest of her own soda, setting it down on the table. She'd already had enough of the alcoholic sort of drinking; she apparently wasn't as young as she thought any more, since binge drinking had somehow turned into something that actually resulted in a hangover.

"I just ... I can't say I didn't really see this coming, I just didn't want to. I mean, hanging around with you kind of made realize that Vinny wasn't exacting being ... attentive."

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gimmeabell
2011-11-28 01:32 am UTC (link)

"Oh?" Ian raised an eyebrow at that, although in retrospect he wished he hadn't looked so interested in what she meant. But really, it seemed like she meant something by that and he---well, he was interested, but--

Oh really, he didn't know what he was thinking. If she meant what he thought she meant, though, this would be very complicated.

Setting his soda down on the counter, he forcibly wiped the look of surprise off his face. "What do you mean?"

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beavertails
2011-11-28 01:37 am UTC (link)

Well, maybe she shouldn't have subtly brought that up. Ian's reaction proved to her that at least he was interested, which -- just made everything more complicated. She paused, a little at a loss for words. Damn, now he'd know something was up.

"--you know, just the fact that someone was actually willing to go out for dinner with me and actually spend time with me in a way that was -- meaningful." Right, because that didn't make it sound like -- "I mean, besides my brother."

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gimmeabell
2011-11-28 10:32 am UTC (link)

Oh, he wished they weren't talking about this right now. Not that Victoria wasn't wonderful, but-- this just wasn't-- he really didn't know if he was ready to--

'I mean, besides my brother.'

Oh. Oh, okay then.

Ian couldn't tell if he felt relaxed or put down at the fact that she had related him just then to the company she got from her brother, but it did manage to lighten the air a little. Unless she was covering, in which case this was going to be even more awkward later...

"Well, I'm glad I can help," he said. "I really know get to talk to testosterone-high Quidditch men and toddlers usually, so it's been good for me as well."

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beavertails
2011-11-29 04:13 am UTC (link)

Unfortunately, it was definitely going to make it more awkward later. She bit down on her lip, hoping that he wouldn't mention it -- and letting out a sigh of relief when he didn't.

"I can't say I get the same testosterone high as the blokes do from playing, it's true." She still enjoyed being a beater immensely, though, "Beating at least lets me take out any sort of anger issues I've got over this whole thing, though. You'd better hope we don't have any matches together soon." Which they would, of course.

Okay, now that she was less worried about accidentally letting it slip that she had feelings for Ian, she was calming down a little.

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