Victoria Cadwallader (beavertails) wrote in valesco,
@ 2011-11-16 00:37:00

Entry tags:

Ian!
Victoria would've been lying if she'd said that she hadn't thought about Ian in a more-than-friends capacity since they'd started having play dates for the girls. He was a handsome man, they got along well enough ... and most importantly, he didn't just shy away from the idea of having a daughter. It seemed so stupid in retrospect to think that Vinny had been ready for children, but he'd seemed so happy with the idea of it at the time that she hadn't thought too deeply on the matter.

What a mistake that had been. Maybe Mira was right -- she just needed to gauge whether Ian had any interest in her or not. She wasn't about to end up on the wrong end of an unrequited crush (again). Sure, things had eventually worked out with her and Vinny ... at least for a time, but that had been a long enough road. She didn't want to go down that path a second time.

She apparated to outside of Ian's place and lifted her hand to knock; it still seemed bizarre to her that the floo network actually went inside peoples' homes. It was so -- invasive. She took a deep breath and smoothed down the hem of her shirt out of habit; being this nervous around someone she already knew she was friends with was ridiculous. She was a strong, confident woman, and she had every right to move on as fast as she wanted to from Vinny. It would help her get over him, obviously.

Ian's sister had Ava until later this evening, so Victoria knew she had a little time to talk to Ian alone.

"I brought Indian."

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beavertails
2011-11-18 02:35 am UTC (link)

She couldn't help the quick glance down to the ground when he spoke about how things with Katie were easier now that Liz wanted to take her more often.

"Yeah, I'm just -- glad my brother decided to move over here. I hope he decides to keep it permanent; Vinny hasn't really -- he's not really interested in raising Ava. Which is fine, I guess." It wasn't fine, really -- it wasn't as if she'd been the one to make him Ava's godfather, after all. It was just as much his responsibility as hers.

"I honestly don't care if we win the cup this year. I don't play to win, I play because I enjoy the game." And because she was good at it. Both those things together.

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gimmeabell
2011-11-20 08:59 pm UTC (link)

Ian frowned through a bite of tikka masala, feeling something of an unexplained annoyance at the mention of his friend not wanting to raise Ava. That was wrong of him, he thought, and tried to shake it quickly... but being a father himself, he just couldn't not get a the smallest bit upset at the idea of Vinny not taking responsibility as godfather. Or maybe it was just at how it had been left to Victoria alone. Neither had meant to come to raise a child; the least that could be done was to stick with it together, even if they weren't together.

"Don't say it's fine," Ian spoke out, setting his fork down on the edge of the plate and catching her straight in the face. "It's not fine, and I'm not afraid to admit that, even if he is my friend. And you don't need to pretend it is, to me."

Sighing, he crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat, the food suddenly not the most important thing in the room. "He doesn't have to pretend to be her father, but he does need to do something. Neither of you asked for this, so it doesn't matter who wants to do it."

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beavertails
2011-11-21 01:53 am UTC (link)

"I'd rather him know better than to get involved with her if he's just going to disappoint her," she said with a frown, "but no, it's not fine. It's -- stupid, and I feel stupid for thinking it was going to be fine." Oh, she was already getting all worked up about this -- but at least she didn't feel like she was going to cry any more. No, now she was just -- angry.

"It's not like I can just -- give her to anyone else. Vinny might not feel responsible for her, but I do." Victoria was suddenly put-off her food -- she too shifted in her chair, but moved to drop her elbows down onto the counter with a scowl. "Even if Ava wasn't in the picture, though -- I was dumb to think Vinny would ever really be over a woman he left the damn country over."

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gimmeabell
2011-11-23 04:45 am UTC (link)

Ian raised his brow as she spoke, not really buying into the logic her mind was forming about the situation. Maybe it was because he didn't know what it was like to raise a child that wasn't his, but it seemed an entirely foreign concept to Ian to not feel responsible for a child that was your responsibility. Or how you could just give up on helping raise them after getting to know them.

Yep, that's probably what it came down to. He just didn't get it.

"Well, you're all she needs then," he finally settled on. "And whatever was or wasn't meant to be with him, it's passed you by now. There's no use berating yourself over it, and all you can do is get up, brush the dust off, and move on."

Funny, that was the same advice he had been telling himself since Liz had left. Come to think of it, maybe that wasn't the best thing to tell her, considering he hadn't yet been able to follow it himself.

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beavertails
2011-11-23 04:52 am UTC (link)

It was true; she didn't really have any reason to believe him, given how difficult it had obviously been for him to get over Liz. Granted, he'd presumably been dating Liz for much longer than she'd been seeing Vinny, since his kid was almost the same age as Ava.

"Easier said than done, I'm sure you know." That was as catty as she was going to get on that note, though; he was her friend and she -- had enough confusing feelings for him that she didn't need to add 'slightly angry about hypocrisy' to that list. She sighed, picking at her naan and stuffing a small piece into her mouth.

"Any tips, Mr. Expert?"

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gimmeabell
2011-11-27 08:18 am UTC (link)

"I'll give you that," he said with a nod to her former comment, raising up his can of pop at her before taking a long drink. Maybe if he imagined it was strong liquor, he could somehow make himself believe he was washing away the memories of his failed marriage.

Nope. Nope, that wasn't working at all. Nothing ever did.

Ian shrugged uncomfortably, trying to think up some good advice -- something his friends or parents had said to him, maybe... But then again, he hadn't followed any of it very well, so who's to say it would help her. That was just the issue. It was all easy to say when you weren't in the situation.

"To be honest with you, I don't know," he finally answered. "Just one step in front of the other and one day at a time, I guess. Isn't that all anyone can really do?"

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beavertails
2011-11-28 01:04 am UTC (link)

"Darn, I was hoping for some sort of miracle cure." She furrowed her brows and drained the rest of her own soda, setting it down on the table. She'd already had enough of the alcoholic sort of drinking; she apparently wasn't as young as she thought any more, since binge drinking had somehow turned into something that actually resulted in a hangover.

"I just ... I can't say I didn't really see this coming, I just didn't want to. I mean, hanging around with you kind of made realize that Vinny wasn't exacting being ... attentive."

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gimmeabell
2011-11-28 01:32 am UTC (link)

"Oh?" Ian raised an eyebrow at that, although in retrospect he wished he hadn't looked so interested in what she meant. But really, it seemed like she meant something by that and he---well, he was interested, but--

Oh really, he didn't know what he was thinking. If she meant what he thought she meant, though, this would be very complicated.

Setting his soda down on the counter, he forcibly wiped the look of surprise off his face. "What do you mean?"

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beavertails
2011-11-28 01:37 am UTC (link)

Well, maybe she shouldn't have subtly brought that up. Ian's reaction proved to her that at least he was interested, which -- just made everything more complicated. She paused, a little at a loss for words. Damn, now he'd know something was up.

"--you know, just the fact that someone was actually willing to go out for dinner with me and actually spend time with me in a way that was -- meaningful." Right, because that didn't make it sound like -- "I mean, besides my brother."

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gimmeabell
2011-11-28 10:32 am UTC (link)

Oh, he wished they weren't talking about this right now. Not that Victoria wasn't wonderful, but-- this just wasn't-- he really didn't know if he was ready to--

'I mean, besides my brother.'

Oh. Oh, okay then.

Ian couldn't tell if he felt relaxed or put down at the fact that she had related him just then to the company she got from her brother, but it did manage to lighten the air a little. Unless she was covering, in which case this was going to be even more awkward later...

"Well, I'm glad I can help," he said. "I really know get to talk to testosterone-high Quidditch men and toddlers usually, so it's been good for me as well."

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beavertails
2011-11-29 04:13 am UTC (link)

Unfortunately, it was definitely going to make it more awkward later. She bit down on her lip, hoping that he wouldn't mention it -- and letting out a sigh of relief when he didn't.

"I can't say I get the same testosterone high as the blokes do from playing, it's true." She still enjoyed being a beater immensely, though, "Beating at least lets me take out any sort of anger issues I've got over this whole thing, though. You'd better hope we don't have any matches together soon." Which they would, of course.

Okay, now that she was less worried about accidentally letting it slip that she had feelings for Ian, she was calming down a little.

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