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not mine
There was a bright person who posted something about the attitudes of others towards those of us with chronic pain, and that made me want to share the following:

If you don’t know me you would not guess to look at me that I’m living with a very painful disease. I don’t talk about it much, but it's there. Because my disease is not visible to the naked eye, some people think it simply does not exist, even if I tell them. This is compounded because I am physically active, I go to the gym, therefore I must be fine. I have seen reactive facial expressions that might as well shout; “but you don't look sick!” Very few people have a true poker face.

I would never assume nor profess I know what’s going on in your body. Even if I had your medical file at my fingertips I would not assume to know your pain. I would feel like a total jerk if I presumed to know how you feel. But that doesn’t stop some people who seem to revel in both their arrogance and their ignorance. Without a medical degree or even knowledge of my full name they assume to know better than I what is going on in my body. That I “look healthy” to them is reason enough to assume I’m lying or deluded about the state of my own body.

You are not me. That means:

. Whatever magazine article you've read or talk show you may have seen does not qualify you to practice medicine.

. Unless you are my husband, a member of my family, or a close friend – you don’t know me.

. You don’t get to say what I am or am not feeling up to doing that day. You don’t decide what I’m capable of.

If your intention is to educate yourself on my disease, and your motivation is compassion, I welcome your genuine inquiries, and will do all I can to help you understand. Having had this disease for many years, and as one would imagine, I have done a fair amount of research. That being said, please don't ask me what endo is and expect a one sentence explanation. Most diseases are far more complicated than that, and while I appreciate that you care enough to ask, make sure you care enough to actually hear the answer. It has taken me years of reading, research and personal experience to learn the things I have about this disease, and I will not edit and/or condense that for your convenience. You'd be surprised, once I open my mouth to answer, how many people quickly figure out that they really don't want to know.

The Dali Lama once said 'Most of the world’s pain is caused by expectation – both our expectations of others and their expectations of us. Living in expectation is living in hell.'

I have no desire to live in hell, so with very few exceptions, I don’t care what your expectations are of me. Your expectations are your problem, not mine. To be brutally honest – I really don’t give a damn what you think or what you want. You are not a member of my circle, so aside from the respect and dignity I’m willing to extend to every human being, I owe you nothing.

*original post borrowed from Phillip T. Alden in the chronic_pain community, and edited to reflect my own situation.