Puddlemere Forfeits Opening Match!
HOLY UNITED! Fans of the Puddlemere United were given quite the shock tonight when as the whistle blew to begin their opening match of the season against the Holyhead Harpies, the United men all remained stationary while the Harpies flew circles around them. Keeper Ian Bell pulled a muggle football out of his back pocket that inflated with a spell and began kicking it into his own hoop. His teammates soon followed, as Captain Finn McLaggen remained floating not a meter above the pitch, keeping his feet off the ground to remain in-play.
As a result of the whacky behavior, the Harpies came out on top with a brutal 450-0 win over the United. Temporary Captain Holly Troy made this statement, "I see what the United are trying to do, but what kind of Captain would I be if I let all those free points go to waste?"
None of the United players would make a comment, but our reporter managed to catch Bell for a somewhat telling moment:
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Keeper Ian Bell's response when asked if this 'Fly-Off/Stand-Off was about teammate Nicole Bardera's suspension |
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