Current location:	Chicago (dorm room)
Current mood:	cynical
Current music:	The Guild League - The Storm
Entry tags:	rambling

that's the price of one more lesson learned
It's fucking bullshit when I can feel the long, bad night that awaits me. The smallest things make my chest hurt more than normal. The smallest things get me angry or irritated or depressed or jealous or a sick combination of all of the above.

So I'm listening to music, right? And I can just feel it. Not the music, but that damn feeling that starts to grow and creeps up in me as the night gets older and as it starts to sort of just settle in, and when I say in i mean IN IN IN FUCKING IN. To the point that you know you'll end up sobbing on the floor or into your pillow or as you pace your room or even sobbing on the floor of your fucking pitch-black bathroom. The worst thing is that no matter how much time passes, the feeling is never REALLY gone until morning comes, until I sleep on it and apathy and peace have the change to slip back in.

And even then, it's not really gone, just pushed in nice and deep.