Log In

    - Create Journal
    - Update
    - Download

    - News
    - Paid Accounts
    - Invite
    - To-Do list
    - Contributors

    - Customize
    - Create Style
    - Edit Style

Find Users
    - Random!
    - By Region
    - By Interest
    - Search

Edit ...
    - User Info
    - Settings
    - Your Friends
    - Old Entries
    - Userpics
    - Password

Need Help?
    - Password?
    - FAQs
    - Support Area

Katie & friends ([info]_katies) wrote,
@ 2008-03-30 19:21:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: stressed
Current music:Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under the Bridge

Whole Lotta Switching
So yeah, it's been a quite eventful weekend. I lost time (switched) on Friday. According to the information my bf gave me, Katie was present. Then on Saturday I also switched during a walk. I woke up in the middle of a forest and asked my bf, where the fuck are we? XD

And last night was a pain in the arse. Something weird happened, I woke up around 2 in the morning, and my head was full of accusations, flashbacks, all kinds of bad stuff. I couldn't get sleep until my darling asked me if I had a tranquilizer and I remembered that I had oxazepam with me. I took 15 mg and was asleep in 30 minutes. I woke up three hours after.

I realised that I switch either at home (when alone), at my apartment (when alone), and when alone, and with my bf. He's the only one I feel safe with. It was heartbreaking when he walked me to the train station today, and we hugged, and I almost broke down crying but I pulled myself together, took an another 15 mg tablet of Miss O. to ease the pain, and I managed to pull through for the whole trip.

I look forward to July, when I get notified whether I get into the uni in Sweden or not. I really want to go. I need to get out of here. I don't feel safe at home, and I don't feel safe in my apartment.

An another thing I guess is worth mentioning: I was seriously thinking of crushing all my old Seroquel tabs or just gathering them up in case a bad day comes up. At the time I was laying next to my darling, and I stroked his hair and said to myself, no, I can't do it, I love this person way too much. As pathetic as it may seem, he is the one I live for right now.

Maybe more reasons will come later.

(Read comments)

Post a comment in response:

( )Anonymous- this user has disabled anonymous and non-friend posting. You may post here if _katies lists you as a friend.
Identity URL: 
Don't have an account? Create one now.
No HTML allowed in subject

scribbld is part of the horse.13 network
Design by Jimmy B.
Logo created by hitsuzen.
Scribbld System Status