Radio Play: Xigbar's Enterance
(note: Taken from
this post and blanks will be replaced with actor names later, one of them will probably be me.)
Shaylynn: Hello and welcome to another Transylvania Polytech University, Oregon Branch, Radio Theater production! Today we are presenting ‘Xigbar’s Entrance’. Xigbar and Sora are not being played by their respective muns, instead they will be acted by Queenie and myself. This production was taken from an actual role play thread and was made with complete consent from the muns of the players involved. I do not own Kingdom Hearts in any way, shape, or form. I hope you will enjoy our production.
Narrator: (sound of someone walking into the room and sitting down then a polite cough) It is a world ruled by Fantasy! Where some number of yet-to-be-named deities call the shots, making relatively innocent people dance like puppets at their whims! It is a world- well five worlds if you want to get technical- where anything is possible! Anything from mad Time Lords attempt town-wide take overs to the post office being ran by a cheerleader and an emperor runs the inn. It is the world of Traverse Town: home for those who have no other place to go!
Narrator: In our last but extremely imaginary episode, our her-er, villain, Xigbar,
Xigbar: Hey!
Narrator: just appeared in a new place and our hero, Sora,
Sora: Hi!
Narrator: was just finishing up some shopping…
Xigbar: (confused) "Wuzzat? Obviously not darkness. What's up with that?"
Xigbar: *pause* (sighs) "Well isn't this a barrel full of freakin' monkies!"
(dramatic ruffling fabric noise)
Xigbar: "Might as well explore this place... boy is Mansex gonna be mad when he finds out where I've been!"
Sora: (humming Mickey Mouse march, cuts off and makes small gasp) "Hey-! ...Who the heck is Mansex?"
Xigbar: (amused) "Tch. Roxas." (super serious) "Here for a fight?"
Sora: (annoyed) "It's Sora."
Xigbar: "Yeah, yeah. Same thing, kiddo."
Sora: "I'm not here for a fight. Are you?"
Xigbar: (mild surprise) "Really? What kinda joke are you pulling, hm? Save the wisecracking to me."
Sora: (sincere) "Really! I'm not pulling any jokes." *pause* "Did you just get here? You don't know what's going on, do you?"
Xigbar: "..."
Xigbar: (embarrassed) "Er... you could say that!"
Sora: "What's the last thing you remember before coming here?"
Xigbar: "Tch. As if! Like I'll tell you!" (grunt, movement noises, pause, sigh) "...I take that back. I was supposed to go on some dumb mission or something. Why do you care?"
Sora: "Because then I can figure out what time you're from."
Xigbar: "What time I'm from?"
Xigbar: (kind of wtf) "What's that supposed to mean, kiddo? Sounds like a helluva story you have there."
Sora: (thoughtfully) "Well… for example the guy in the inn lobby is years behind the rest of the people in his world. And then if you were in the middle of a mission… Then you're behind me by a while. People show up here from different times now and not just different worlds."
Xigbar: (wtf) "...What are you on, boy?"
Sora: (confused) "Huh? I'm not on anything." (more normal) "I didn't make it up if you don't believe me. Ask anybody here."
Xigbar: (sigh) "...Nevermind. That obviously flew over your head. Jeez how old are you? 5?" (foot-tapping) "So... you're saying this is some weirdo world where weirdo people show up and do weirdo things. Am I right, kiddo?"
Sora: "Ah..no. Normal people show up and do normal things. And it's not a world it's more like five now. This is Traverse Town and, then, see if you go out there you can get to Radient Garden, Twilight Town, The World That Never Was, and this castle I don't remember ever seeing before."
Xigbar: (attentive, hopeful) "The home world's here? So I'm not utterly lost and confused?" (sigh of relief)
Xigbar: "So... is Mansex the Superior here? Any other Organization members?"
Sora: "I haven't seen Xemnas… and its better he's not here. I've seen Axel and Roxas though."
Xigbar: "...So let me get this straight. The kid... is back to having his own body?"
Sora: "That's right."
Xigbar: "..Huh. So flamesilocks is here, too, huh? Anyone else I should know about?"
Sora: "Not that I can think of..- OH!" (realization) "All my friends are here so don't try anything because you'd be completely outnumbered."
Xigbar: (chuckle, sarcastically) "Right, right... I won't. I totally wouldn't be able to take on a bunch of children. Nope. Never."
Sora: (completely serious) "You wouldn't. I won that fight."
Xigbar: (slightly confused) "Eh? What fight are we talking about here, boy?"
Sora: "When I fought you in the World That Never Was..." (realization) "Oh wait! You're behind me. You wouldn't know I won that fight..."
Xigbar: (disbelief) "You're joking me..."
Sora: (slightly uncomfortable) "No..."
Xigbar: (growl)
(sound of someone punching a wall)
Xigbar: (serious with a hint of barely withheld anger) "So. Let me get this straight. Ya killed me, kiddo?"
Sora: (nervous) "Uhh...." (pause) "You're here now!"
(pause)
Xigbar: "...Well then. I guess good job then, kiddo. You've earned my respect."
Sora: (surprised) "Really? I earned respect for that? I thought you'd be mad."
Xigbar: (snicker, then serious) "I might respect you, but that doesn't mean I'm automatically on your side, kid. Don't expect any favors or anything."
Sora: "Oh. Alright."
Xigbar: "Tch. That's all you have to say? I expected waterworks... Although that's more of Demyx's department." (laughs at the joke, knuckles cracking)
Sora: "It's nothing to cry over."
Xigbar: "So... waddya do for fun around here, little man?"
Sora: "Ah- fun! I play games, skateboard, get icecream, kill heartless, meet new people..."
Xigbar: (suggestively at the end) "Hn. Not exactly my idea of fun, kid. I like games, but not the kind you like."
Sora: "Oh."
Xigbar: "Anyway, and I kill heartless, but I'm only required to do that. It's not any real fun."
Sora: "I'm sure there's something you'd like around here."
Xigbar: (snicker) "Heh. Maybe, maybe not. I guess I'll find out, then."
Sora: "I could help you find something if you want…"
Xigbar: (surprise and slight disbelief) "Really? You'll help me of all people?" (barking laughter) "If you're willing, I won't be able to refuse now can I, kiddo?"
Sora: (pout) "What? Is there a reason I shouldn't? You're not doing anything bad so..."
Xigbar: "Huh. You're a real nice kid, you know that? A little too nice, but... nice."
Sora: "Nah. I can't be too nice." (pause) "So what do you like to do for fun besides games and shooting things?"
Xigbar: "Weeeell... I like to insult people, make fun of people, play pranks on people, scare people... and surf." (snicker) "Nah, don't worry, kiddo, I'm not that much of a jerk."
Sora: "Surf! There's surfing! You take the train in Twilight Town and go to the island on the side with the waves and that could work!"
Xigbar: (sarcastic) "Reaaaaally. Twilight Town, huh? Never noticed."
Sora: "Twilight Town has a beach I've never been to, but you can take the train to Destiny Islands now so why go to the beach when you can go there?"
Xigbar: "Huh. Interesting." (pause) "Hey. You live near those islands, right? Can ya show me around?"
Sora: "Sure. I don't see why not."
Zigbar: "Alright then. Ya wanna lead the way then, kiddo? I've never been there. It's one of the few places I haven't, besides this place, obviously."
Narrator: And so our hero and villain wander off into the sunset of Twilight Town. What will become of them? Will Xigbar get to surf? Will Sora get to make a new friend? Find out on the next exciting episode of Xigbar, the Freeshooter!
Shaylynn: This has been a Transylvania Polytech University, Oregon Branch production. Thank you and have a good night!
