clickanon (clickanon) wrote,
@ 2011-08-17 21:31:00

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redrum
2011-08-22 03:13 am UTC (link)

i think it's time we all have a conversation about giving. a lot of us have given a lot to this community and to see some of the stuff that happens in return is really disappointing. i gave up a lot of my free time for activities (both auctions, oh and i have been one of the ones pushing for new awards to stir some excitement in this place!) as well as running filmog with ~allistair before taking over modding as a two week favor, only to have the original mod just disappear on us and leave us holding the bag and some huge horirble secret. modding was hellacious. we never had time to play or even really interact because there was always so damn much to do, especially with credits. it didn't matter what we did, it was always wrong. nothing was ever enough for people and it seemed like every single person expected some special treatment when they contributed very little. something that still is going on now, only on an even worse level with people looking completely inactive, only to pop up every 3 or 4 weeks for an update or something. this is a community, guys. or it was. and a community means interaction. but then it became way too much for us and ~lefors who kindly started helping out a month or so in (hell, we had up to FIVE mods at one point and it was still way too much) and we had to hand it over. we chose ~lico because of their dedication and level head with the game. during all this time, i've watched the activities i was helping with get torn apart. i watched ~tracey get run out of the GAME just because their character chose to say something controversial - something we apparently all appreciate in other characters, just never did in her. i watched people claim i bring myself up and that's the only reason people liked my character. i watched people rip apart the way filmog was run and the way things were modded. i have also watched one of my character's closest friends get run out of the community after their slp was hacked, an act i am still disgusted by to this date, as well as have been pushed to the point of wanting to just delete myself. but i stuck around because i had some kind of faith. i just don't know if i really do right now. and i agree that the only real justice we can do is close it. i'm appalled right now and very embarrassed. i'm just tired of being drug down with everything. i absolutely relate to ~lico at this point. seeing the way she was called out for being bipolar, and knowing she had been using it as a therapy for herself - which i thought was handled beautifully - just hurts, considering i know i have considered using rp recently as a therapy for myself. lately i've had a lot of issues going on with my personal life. hell if you'd like to know, i have no idea where my older brother is and if he's even alive right now. i haven't been able to be around and i see rp as a hobby in which we're encouraged to experience an amount of escapism. and this game is not that anymore. at all. we all promised ~maberly we'd try harder a couple of weeks ago. i brought myself OUT of my funk just recently in order to make a larger effort and have been enjoying it. until now. and i've seen only a few people trying harder. to those people i say thank you very much. but it's to a point where it seems like only a couple of people even care anymore. and this is just sad.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	cannibalism 2011-08-22 03:20 am UTC (link)
	i have something to give you (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	redrum 2011-08-22 03:22 am UTC (link)
	a kiss, peter? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cannibalism 2011-08-22 03:24 am UTC (link)
	(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	redrum 2011-08-22 03:26 am UTC (link)
	.... i forgot how weird you can be (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cannibalism 2011-08-22 03:27 am UTC (link)
	... is that considered weird? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	redrum 2011-08-22 03:34 am UTC (link)
	no. it's beautiful (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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cannibalism, 2011-08-22 03:34 am UTC

	tyrion 2011-08-22 03:21 am UTC (link)
	i literally just zeroed in on the thing about your brother and i want you to know, i hope he's all right. and now i'll read the rest of this. but i just wanted to say that foremost. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	redrum 2011-08-22 03:23 am UTC (link)
	thank you. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

tyrion
2011-08-22 03:29 am UTC (link)

okay, one, i always found it absurd that people thought you were bringing yourself up. maybe because i know that's the exact opposite of what you would do, but christ, that was absurd. two, i seriously don't think it's fair for people to slam every little thing the mod does. i think it's fair to have your criticisms, as long as they're constructive. as long as you have a solution to offer to what you perceive is a problem. but the people in here were just whining. howevs, i thought you guys were doing an excellent job. i really do, especially in the face of that continuous adversity. three, i don't understand the behavior in this community. i don't understand why people are fundamentally against anything that could help, especially help promote activity. i don't understand why this is the only community that we can't have nice things, especially because people suddenly seem so mature and rational once we're logged in. and four, i love you.

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	redrum 2011-08-22 03:35 am UTC (link)
	yeah i mean considering the way i've dealt with anons in the past. that just blew my mind. and whatever we just aren't allowed nice things. i guess. and ily2 (Reply to this)(Parent)

snowball
2011-08-22 03:21 am UTC (link)

i think it's irony in a way that we ended up pseudo-mod teaming together again after our glory days on gj. i know your ooc lift has a shit stick in it right now, too, and i always feel bad coming to you with click stuff but nobody else understands. it's only been a month since you guys handed it over to me and it feels like a year after everything that's happened. which is super frustrating.

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	redrum 2011-08-22 03:24 am UTC (link)
	i know. it has that ability. it felt like we were trying to tread water with it for years (Reply to this)(Parent)

	rxnne 2011-08-22 03:23 am UTC (link)
	first of all, i want to say that your family and your brother are in my thoughts and prayers right now, sweetie <3 second, i hate that things have come to this. i love this place and the fact that all this drama is coming up makes me so sad :( (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	redrum 2011-08-22 03:25 am UTC (link)
	it really is sad (Reply to this)(Parent)

	caddyshack 2011-08-22 03:33 am UTC (link)
	hughughug for what it's worth, i love you. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	betaphi 2011-08-22 03:41 am UTC (link)
	i honestly think you are amazing and what you did to keep this place running was great. it sucks that all it takes is one person to ruin the fun for everyone. i feel we all use rping as a way to escape something or someone in our own lives and when others take advantage of that it hurts. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	losfeliz 2011-08-22 03:44 am UTC (link)
	Sending so much love and peace toward you. <3 (Reply to this)(Parent)

celebi
2011-08-22 03:56 am UTC (link)

i feel like a broken record just thanking everyone who's helped mod in any way, but seriously thank you. i can only imagine how much work goes into doing it, and how ridiculous it probably gets with how big the community is and how many fucking complaints people always seem to have. i mean, i know you can't please everyone, but i've been in the comm since the beginning and i've always thought the mods, regardless of which, have done a good job of running the place. i just wish more people would care again too. there are a lot of well-developed characters that people seem really invested in, and it sucks that everything seems like it's dwindling.

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nasib
2011-08-22 08:30 am UTC (link)

everyone else has said what i wanted to say in a more eloquent way, so i'll just say thank you so much for modding the comm for so long. it is a thankless job and it burns you out. i got burned out on modding almost three years ago because of some shit that went down, but it wasn't nearly as insane as what's been going on here. i have immense respect that you put up with that as long as you did.

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	mojave 2011-08-22 11:36 am UTC (link)
	i really, truly hope everything would be okay. the comm, the funk, and honestly, at the priority, your family finding your brother. <3 (Reply to this)(Parent)

pianoforte
2011-08-22 02:27 pm UTC (link)

i can't say anything that hasn't already been said, but thank you so much for everything you did to help hold this place together. i adore you/chester (I BRING HIM UP ALL THE TIME IN HERE, OK? I'LL ADMIT IT,) you're such a vital part of this place running and what i love about it, both in front of and behind the scenes.

and i'm so, so sorry about your brother. you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	bronn 2011-08-22 02:30 pm UTC (link)
	love. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	bogie 2011-08-22 03:17 pm UTC (link)
	i hope that your brother comes back, love. you and your family are in my prayers and i hope for the best! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	bposey 2011-08-22 05:18 pm UTC (link)
	Check the custom post in here when you have a second honey? (Reply to this)(Parent)

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