uchiha ][ sasuke (equate) wrote,
@ 2009-10-29 12:04:00

Entry tags:

cell phone plz???, fuck his life, not amused, not paco, tokyo... police..., wtf wtf wtf

OCT. 14, 2009

Dear Mr. Uchiha:

This letter is to confirm your investigation petition of OCTOBER 2009 .

As you are aware, property theft is a serious offense that the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department Statistics Office has determined has a 9.51% probability of a favourable conclusion to the complainant.

The officer delegated to this investigation is MORITA KEICHIRO. His reports will be enclosed.

Thank you for your cooperation. Your safety is important to us.

Lt. Adachi Naomi
Tokyo Metropolitan Police Administration Office

OCT. 18, 2009

Mr. Uchiha:

My team and I are proud to inform you that our department has recently been awarded with two highly trained military dogs.

We believe this to be relevant to your pending search investigation, should the sought object contain a 45% or higher concentration of radioactive substances or narcotics.

Morita Keichiro
Tokyo Metropolitan Police Community Police Affairs Section

Dear Mr. Uchiha:

We will forward your second petition for a stalking warrant against CARMEN DEFUENTA to our Criminal Investigation Department.

Your safety is important to us.

Lt. Adachi Naomi
Tokyo Metropolitan Police Administration Office

Mr. Uchiha:

The unidentified object my team and I believe to meet the description of your phone has been confiscated as secondary evidence in a civil trial that the defendant claims will prove the existence of 'alien life force.' (Enclosed ref. court order #866-31.)

Under clause IIA.90.718, our search investigation loses priority to a pending litigation. We are obligated to cease our search for the duration.

Morita Keichiro
Tokyo Metropolitan Police Community Police Affairs Section

-

...

Ah. Karma.

Black Ericsson, 'equate' engraved in rōmaji on the side.

Compensation for its return.

[ooc: ...in which he tried to recover the cell phone he lost in a club and failed horribly. FHL. If you want your character to've found it in a club, go for it - only requirement is to make the discovery story as gd whacky as the above XD]

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	WHAT. WHAT INO. WHAT. equate 2009-10-29 11:19 pm UTC (link)
	...really. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	SHE'S JUST JEALOUS THAT SHE DIDN'T THINK OF SALACIOUS TEXTS FIRST verdure 2009-10-29 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	It's totally obvious. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	DID SHE MISS THE PART ABOUT THE RESTRAINING ORDER PETITION equate 2009-10-29 11:50 pm UTC (link)
	You... looked. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	RESTRAINING ORDERS ARE KINKY verdure 2009-10-29 11:53 pm UTC (link)
	What? They're... there. Out there. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	keywords XD! equate 2009-10-30 12:06 am UTC (link)
	Would you like to discuss them at length, Yamanaka? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	flkdsjklaf HOW DO YOU HAVE KEYWORDS LIKE THAT verdure 2009-10-30 12:12 am UTC (link)
	How about we discuss my breasts instead? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rofl THEY WERE THERE BEFORE; ALL MY KEYWORDS ARE BAD PUNS. equate 2009-10-30 12:20 am UTC (link)
	~~I did not kill your family.~~ ...why me, Yamanaka. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	verdure 2009-10-30 12:21 am UTC (link)
	Because dark, lonerish asshole is just my type. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	1/3 equate 2009-10-30 12:25 am UTC (link)
	I am not\| (Reply to this)(Parent)

	THINKING LONG AND HARD, REALLY equate 2009-10-30 12:25 am UTC (link)
	(Reply to this)(Parent)

	equate 2009-10-30 12:25 am UTC (link)
	Ah. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	verdure 2009-10-30 01:30 am UTC (link)
	That's why. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	equate 2009-10-30 04:28 am UTC (link)
	Yamanaka, what do you want in life? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	verdure 2009-10-30 05:14 am UTC (link)
	Happily ever after. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	equate 2009-10-30 05:17 am UTC (link)
	Marriage? Career? Children? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	verdure 2009-10-30 05:23 am UTC (link)
	Isn't that what all women want? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	equate 2009-10-30 05:36 am UTC (link)
	It doesn't matter. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	verdure 2009-10-30 05:37 am UTC (link)
	Come again? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	equate 2009-10-30 05:39 am UTC (link)
	What 'all women' want doesn't matter. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	verdure 2009-10-30 05:41 am UTC (link)
	Are you saying I'm not a woman? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	equate 2009-10-30 05:47 am UTC (link)
	I am saying you don't speak for every woman alive. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	verdure 2009-10-30 05:49 am UTC (link)
	I speak for more women than you. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	equate 2009-10-30 05:53 am UTC (link)
	Numbers, Yamanaka. Statistics. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	verdure 2009-10-30 05:57 am UTC (link)
	What do the numbers say, Sasuke? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	equate 2009-10-30 05:59 am UTC (link)
	That the likes of Haruno and Sabaku would kill you if you told them to get married and breed. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)