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a new day
My birthday was the 28th of December. Maybe this is a common practice, but I always seem to take an inventory of sorts of my life on my birthday. It may be because it happens to be at the end of the year. Every year I am amazed at the things that have happened, how myself and others have changed, and how some things have, (and always will,) stay the same.

I look back over the people I've met, the experiences I've had, the loss and laughter, good and bad decisions, and the things that surprised me. I am proud of myself for the decisions I've made this past year. I left a job that was literally making me sick. I left a marriage that was not much better, and in making those difficult decisions, I have found inner peace.

It's hard sometimes to think about lost time. Many people who get divorced go through that, and I suppose I did, too, to some degree. The fact is, people do things when they're ready, and no sooner. There's no sense feeling guilty for that proverbial 'lost time'. It was only truly lost if you learned nothing from it.

The past few weeks I have been experiencing serious relapses of my endometriosis. I just got my internet access back at home, and for those who think that's unrelated, I'll explain. I spend a lot of time just trying to keep my mind off of it ... that's mostly what I use the internet for ... distraction. I hate to be this person, this sickly person, but sometimes it's who I am, and I have found, over the years, the tricks of the trade, to deal with it until it passes, as, after 5 surgeries, there really isn't much else for it. This morning I could barely move. It should be a memorable experience for me, something I might call in sick to work, or go to the doctor for, but for me, it's part of day-to-day life. I try to look at it in a positive manner ... I feel thankful on the days I have no pain, and humble on the days that I do. When pain slams you up against the wall, punches you right between the eyes and lets you fall, in a heap, to the floor, you just surrender. And when you feel better, you go shopping. =)

So tonight I will happily go buy some picture frames, decorate my new place while watching cable t.v., nurse some ginger tea and hug my heating pad. That makes me happy these days.