She's going to think I used her, but now that I think about it, maybe she used me. Seeing my situation as an opportunity to exact revenge against someone for her own benefit. Yeah, that sounds like her. Not for me, never for me, not to keep me safe, but to keep her upper hand in the game. I was temporarily fooled into thinking that she might do something for someone other than herself. I suppose it's better to be a fool and have your heart broken than to have no heart at all. But that really isn't about her. I never gave her my heart, though there are others who still have pieces wedged in between their teeth.

Speaking of others, I never thought I'd be one to give my choices away. Handing over my option to forgive and forget. Who am I kidding? When do I ever forget? In any case, it's somewhat disturbing not to be able to change one's mind.

But, back to being used .. I have a lover, a boyfriend, a soulmate, a partner. She would have used me for other things had I let her. I have to wonder... would she have listened to me if I'd have fucked her? Then I would have been important. Then I would have mattered. It would have been worth it to listen to me whine as long as I did so between her thighs. Funny how someone can claim to be so progressive and be so close-minded at the same time.