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-&& three ღツ
So I kinda fail and life and haven't been posting lately. ( Sorry kirby please don't roast me! D: ) However I've just been kinda meh. PMS plus sinus isses made me a very angry panda. For serious. But I'm feeling much better which means time for me to whip my butt into shape and stop being such a fat, ugly little rollie-pollie. Yaaaaaaay! >_
> Please no one beat me for that. Lol.

Side note, I'm doing a lot better with being open and normal towards people again. I'm slowly starting to see that I can be myself and a great person without being scared of doing the wrong thing every five minutes. Thank you Pete for that extra added insecurity that my mother instilled in me at a young age. Because we all know I'm a huge pansy when it comes to things like that, but with my past who wouldn't be. Maybe one day I'll go into a full blown story of everything that has ever happened, but I'm nervous because most people go all she is just doing it for attention. Uh no. Blow me. I wouldn't fake about being raped or beaten for attention thanks. I could just be a skank and get it. Which I am not either. Yay STD free!

I am kinda mad at Shay's mom though. She's trying to fuck him over so he'll come back home. She's trying to ruin his credit and ruin things for him so it's hard for him to survive. Saying she paid bills she hasn't and such. He got a new hair cut today. Mwahah. He looks sexy as usual, then again I'm biased. I'm going to take pictures sometime soon of the ring and us to post. I swear considering I keep getting pestered by certain people to see the rock he put on my finger. : D

I talked to Pete yesterday. He told me a bunch of shit as usual about his side, I heard another version from Jewels and honestly, I think she's a nice girl and not bad. I know what he's done to me so her side seems more real and likely. Especially since he admitted he only said he loved her for brownie points and that she didn't cheat, he did. So I'm just kinda shrugging it off. I talked to Steven yesterday as well. He about had a fit on half of Texas for accusing me like Pete did for leaving him during boot camp when I didn't. He left me before he went in, sorry. I love Steven, he's a sweetheart and a great friend. I just feel bad sometimes because he likes me so much and I can tell but I don't feel for him at all. Poor guy. I really hope he finds a great girl to settle down with one day, he deserves it so so so much.

Last night was the grand opening at Shay's new job though. It was pretty cool. He's looking at getting a second job for a little while at least to pull in some extra money due to the bills getting us a little frazzled lately. But it's all good, we'll pull through, we rock like that. : D He works with Steph which is bomb ass because I can visit a friend and my amazing fiance at one which makes me uber excited. And he also might be getting a job with Yuna too which would also be awesome because then Steph, Megh, me & anyone else along for it could pester them at work too. Mwahaha.

I'm at work right now. Have another hour left. And I sold over a grand today which means $50 for me in commission which makes me a very excited and happy panda. : D Yay! right? Lol. After this I'm gonna go put some gas in my car (and get some windshield washer fluid before Shay kills me) then meet up with Yuna for some coffee and to work on her math with her while we wait for Steph and Shay to get off. That or kill time and get dinner somewhere with Steph, her and Shay and work on math then or something. Which I am slowly devising master plans of how to pay Steph back for all her generosity lately. D: She thinks I might fail but I won't. Mwahaha!

I miss Rikku and Gina though, a lot. They haven't called me lately which is strange and I fail at keeping in contact unless I see the people every single day. I know. I also miss talking to Sarah because we haven't talked in about a week, and Megh as well. But she's been busy with capstone so I'm waiting on her to call especially so I don't pester her. & Daecivar never calls me, or talks to me, which I'd like to change. I changed my MySpace this week, so it's even more amazing. And now I'm running out of things to chat about.

I haven't really been up to a lot lately. Just being with my amazing friends and fiance. Being there for whatever they need me for and kinda sucking at life with how grumpy I've been due to sinus issues and PMS all flooding me at once. But that's okay because it's all better now. And I'm working on breaking down more of my defenses and ignorance I hide behind and starting to improve myself. Plus getting off my lazy ass and working out more so I'm not so fat and ugly anymore. D: That's about it though, hope everyone enjoyed my little entry.

Oh and there is an expo of tattoo artists coming soon, I really wanna go and see about getting one soon, along with my belly pierced again too maybe. I just don't know what I want because I can't think of anything that fits me.  Other then that, I am taking Wensday off to help Steph clean and get things set for her house, and part of tomorrow too. And I'm taking care of some other things Wensday as well. That's really about it. I hope everyone else is well, and for all the drama that's going on with people, honestly let it go. What matters more in life, fighting or loving? Enjoying the beauty you take for granted everyday or getting into it over the mundane and silly things in life? I really hope people will open their eyes soon and realize that nothing is worth all this pain and no one deserves it because everyone matters. I  act like they don't sometimes but that's just because I'm trying to protect myself as much as those I love. I know, I fail. :D