1. eli's a certified genius. his parents were urged to put him in gifted classes, but eli chose to focus on sports, pretty much hiding his intellect from everyone but his teachers. he couldn't really hide it from them, since he aced every test with really poor attendance.
2. eli didn't really attend his senior year so much as he occasionally made appearances on school grounds. many of his teachers just emailed his assignments to him and he emailed them back after having read in the book on his own. except stevenson, who is a douchebag.
3. he sometimes watches straight porn which is totally normal because damn it he's not gay, he just happens to like having sex with a guy named thomas.
4. he's had poems quite secretly published in various literary quarterlies, which he hoards copies of in his closet.
5. he's been known to sell pot to his friends in the rather recent past.
super-sekrit: while he is undoubtedly in love with tennessee williams, he has a legitimate crush on nico machiavelli.
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