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I'm back on the pitch, but it doesn't really feel the same. Don't get me wrong, I love the game, and everything's great, it's just --- I guess I'm still a bit pissed off about all of this. So much has been taken away from me, from all of us, and the fact that I'm "allowed" on the pitch now is a little bittersweet. I feel like a seven year old who's grounded, but can still play in the backyard. Lame. Fucking lame.

I shouldn't be so sulky, it's my own fault. Maybe if I were actively trying to focus on other things I'd feel a lot better.