a torch dragged over one hay bale after another, igniting everything

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Edie 1
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Donna
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ocean skies

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February 6th, 2008

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Edie 4
I didn't expect myself to be this moody today.
I went from productive, successful, slightly-optimistic feeling to worried, self-loating, and almost harmful behavior.

All from thinking about drugs. Fuck. I wish Adam hadn't told me about the hydrocodon his uncle gave him. Just because he can take pills and no get addicted doesn't mean that I can. I'm trying to stay off, recover from getting caught, and just when I'm getting to where I don't want one every day, he tells me this.
and doesn't even offer it to split it with me, which I don't know if I should feel hurt about or not.

Then I got to thinking about how all these people I went to high school with must look at me so differently since I "changed". Yeah, I fucked up, I made some mistakes and wrong choices. I was druggie Donna for a little while, but I was still Donna. And now I'm Donna, and... well. It's hard to be Donna sometimes.

I just want to go to sleep.
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