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06:10pm 23/10/2009
 
 
visigothicreign
It's fairly hard trying to start up again on one of these. It's even harder after I put so much time and effort into my old GJ. That's okay, though. The style I've laid it out for it kind of incorporates my old greatestjournal, and my even older deadjournal. I've infused that with my personal 2009 theme. I think the easiest way to start this off will be an overview of a few random things. 

To be honest, last year was the best year of my life. I had more fun than one can ever imagine. I was almost nearly worry free, money was great, and most importantly, I was happy. Even with Dana gone most of the time, times were great. I had loads of fun. I loved the nights I'd chill with Jen at Denny's at 2am, the parties, hanging out with Russ, Chris, Marc,  Wrestlemania, etc. Then it came time to move in september. Things were fine, and then at the end of April this year, everything went to shit right before my eyes. My relationship with her dissolved such as acid would probably burn through your skin. And it hurt so many times more than that. Too many rough details there, but to make it short, I never expected her to do what she did. Sitting and laying on a couch for months wasting away isn't in anyone's best interest. I'm sort of happy that I lost all that weight, though. I went from 265 to 204 from May to now this year. I think I've gotten over most of it - the pain, suffering, and hurt. I'm different now. This set something off in me, and I'm not the same person I was. How do you tell people that without them asking "how"??? I'm not even sure when I am getting back home or how things will be when i get there. I've been in seclusion for  5 1/2 months. Literal seclusion. It's depressing sometimes. But I handle it as well as I do because solitude is nice. I plan on going back stronger, better, faster, etc. I wish I could make 2008 happen again. That was the epitome of great times in my life. Out of nowhere, so many people I used to talk to a few years ago are finding me online and talking to me. It's pretty crazy. All good people.  At least I know when I go back home, I won't be lonely or anything like that. I just hate starting over all of the time and being abandoned by the people I give most of my heart to. It makes me feel like a damn fool. But, we live and we learn, I suppose. I just want my life peaceful and fun. Just like last year. Nothing complex. I'd pray if I thought it would work.

location: Home
mood: indifferent
music: Eminem feat RBX & Sticky Fingaz - Remember Me?
 
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(no subject)
 porn
 
04:37am 24/10/2009 (UTC)
 
 
viva la white girl
Things will be great again one day. Hopefully sooner rather than later. Anything I can do to help you get back to a feeling even close to that let me know. I'd do it.

Really you just need to get back where you feel at home and where you're with friends and people who care about you.
 
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(no subject)
 visigothicreign
 
04:45am 24/10/2009 (UTC)
 
 
visigothicreign: Me
I know. It just takes time. But I get nowhere by worrying. When I get back home things should be alright. <3 :-/
picword: Me
 
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