The new era. - Post a comment

So, today I woke up and had no energy. It feels like the life has been sucked from me. Almost feel "soulless" if that makes sense. It's hard to feel things. I just kind of laid there for a long time. The wind has howled all day, banging up on the screen door. The sun was actually out today. I should have spent more time outside, but I couldn't find the will to get up until about 4 something today. I went to the bathroom, stripped down and turned the hot water all the way on. Then I stood there for a long time. Then I turned on the cold water and got it to a normal temperature. It just didn't phase me. I washed and brushed my teeth then sat down on the toilet with two towels wrapped around me. I sat there until I was completely dry. Then I tied my hair back, put on my jncos and a hoodie then walked outside. At the end of my street there's a small clearing right before a path to the woods starts. I started to walk towards that path. In my vision, I saw a bright gold light beam through the trees and the shrubs. Then the wind picked up right at that moment. It hit my face and seemed to go right through me. For that split second, I felt like everything in my life was perfect. Like that vision and the wind regenerated me for just a second. Then out of no where, a cloud came and blocked out the sun. The wind stopped immediately and I was back to hell again. It seems as if I was almost disappointed by this. But a breeze and a late afternoon sun can't do anything for you. I came inside and just sat here watching the rest of the sun set through the window until there was no more light in the sky.

mood:

depressed

music: Hole - Violet