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black. ([info]ygnus) wrote,
@ 2008-04-15 23:20:00


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Rarely was anything Cygnus did directed by instinct, but the final letter Alphard sent him had done the impossible. The exchange between the brothers had been marked, at least on Cygnus' side of the correspondence, by the scratching of quill against parchment as he set about replying in a tense scrawl that became ever more severe as the discussion drew on -- but on reading Alphard's last petty, hateful, petulant words, the paper was suddenly balled into his hand as his fingers coiled into a sudden fist.

Is that so much to ask; support from a brother I've been there for and who I'd hope to be there for me when I needed him?

Oh, Alphard, so typically obtuse. So willfully ignorant. His accusations were not something Cygnus wanted, nor, indeed, needed right now, not after a night of being screamed at by a woman he could barely recognize these days, and being held back by her animal of a husband as thread after thread was burnt from the stitching that made up Alphard Black's name. The drama that'd played out in Grimmauld Place drained him, but Alphard had always had a talent for plucking just the right string: and now, with the letter clutched in the unrelenting vice of his fist, Cygnus was white-faced with anger, a loud thud resounding across the study from the chair that fell back as he stood in one violent motion and --

Apparated directly into the living room of Alphard's flat.

"Take it back," came the half-snarled command as he advanced on his brother, his free hand coming out to grip and painfully twist at the fabric of his shirt and the underlying skin, while the other thrust the letter responsible for this rare show of anger in his face.


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[info]alphard
2008-04-16 12:28 am UTC (link)
There was a noise -- quiet and brief, but there nonetheless -- that emitted itself from the back of Alphard's throat at the sudden display of rage. Cygnus had never quite reached this point before, not in Alphard's presence anyway, and it took him aback if only for a moment. However, that moment was quite brief itself, and the sudden realisation dawned upon Alphard that he too was angry, upset, spiteful. There would be no going back. A hand suddenly lifted and fisted there in the back of Cygnus' hair, tugging harshly as he gave a growl of his own: "I won't."

No words could fully describe the pain attached to each letter Alphard had received from what he considered the most important member of his family. And to have him there now, yelling and thrashing about, demanding an apology only added on to the overwhelming amount of sadness Alphard was already feeling. What had his brother become? "I will fucking not, not after --"

His words trailed off, gave way to the loud noise of flesh upon flesh, nails digging in any exposed skin they could find as Alphard squirmed as best he could out of Cygnus' grip. Breathing became ragged, unsteady and even more so as another hand was lifted to shove Cygnus as hard as he could away. That was all Alphard wanted now: distance, space between them. He wanted to be left alone to his thoughts not fighting like some criminal, some bitch in heat seeking an ounce of dignity.

"You don't want me anymore."

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[info]ygnus
2008-04-16 01:18 am UTC (link)
Had he been a mere degree more composed, Cygnus would have yielded to his brother's desperate scrabbling attempts to get away, releasing him and stepping back to maintain a careful distance between them. But this, this childish stupidity of Alphard's proved an excellent fuel for the rage that rendered him now the very mirror of Bellatrix's electric fury. His eyes widened, then narrowed into dangerous slits at the impact of Alphard's words, serving as the sole warning before he brought his grip to the other's jaw, the offensive letter crushed between the brothers as his fingers anchored themselves into the yielding flesh beneath.

"I don't want you anymore?" The voice that uttered it was unnatural, the hoarse murmur that was Cygnus' trademark replaced by an incensed shout. Alphard's hand in his hair held him in place, only just preventing him from throwing the larger man back, but such was their proximity that Cygnus' chest, rising and dropping as though he'd just run a marathon, scraped against his.

"I don't want you anymore?" he repeated, this time with more vehemence. "Don't you ever say that to me, you stupid arse, not after--"

He interrupted himself, replacing the neglected words with a severe shake to Alphard, tone leveling by a barely perceptible amount when he next spoke. "You will take it back, Alphard."

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[info]alphard
2008-04-16 01:39 am UTC (link)
"You said it, Cygnus, you.." And again Alphard's words were cut short, his eyes screwing themselves tightly shut at the sudden feel of parchment crushed between Cygnus' fingers and the long line of his jaw. Stupid? Another insult, one of many that had been screamed between them that night, each would make an ever lasting impression whether either were aware of it yet or not. "I'm not stupid!" The closeness that was Cygnus drew Alphard into an unnatural thrashing, both of his arms raised as he attempted to put some sort of distance between them suddenly. This was all too much, too soon. He had only just --

A single hand came crashing down upon Cygnus' face without warning, and without much thought. A fight was the last thing Alphard had planned but it was all he knew now: Cygnus had refused to acknowledge him as his brother any longer, acknowledge any member of what had once been their family; all that seemed to matter was Cygnus getting what he wanted. An apology? It would be the last thing ever uttered from Alphard's lips.

"I will not."

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[info]ygnus
2008-04-16 02:07 am UTC (link)
A curse escaped him, was hissed through clenched teeth as Alphard's hand came violently into contact with his face, causing him to falter and step lurchingly to the side. Cygnus released his grip on his brother, and the letter, now hopelessly creased, fluttered limply to the floor, where it was subjected to the weight of his shoe as he adjusted his stance to turn and face the other man. Still a ghastly shade of white, a faint flush was beginning to stretch across the side of his face, but the accompanying throb was ignored as he stared at Alphard.

It gradually became evident that the blow had knocked the rage out of him, leaving instead weariness and an almost overpowering sadness that, if continued unchecked, would bring a revealing redness to his eyes and tightness to his voice. Even now, breathing heavily and letting the seconds go by until he could trust himself to speak, it seemed as though Cygnus would falter -- but then, almost as if gathering his dignity around him in a protective cocoon, he jerked his chin up and steadily met Alphard's gaze.

"Stupid," he repeated, "and more so than our nephew, because you could have stopped him and prevented this... this infernal mess. But Merlin forbid you remain with us barbarians --" the venom that lay behind the word indicated he was quoting one of Alphard's earlier letters, "--and wait for his coming-of-age. Now everything is fucked, Alphard, and even my... intervention couldn't--"

He stopped, swallowed, and looked away.

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[info]alphard
2008-04-17 02:49 am UTC (link)
Alphard, though he wouldn't admit it aloud, enjoyed seeing his brother shy away in a brief show of what he hoped to be misery. Yes, Cygnus deserved to be miserable after all the hateful accusations spat between them; even more so now as he continuously taunted Alphard. Stupid? The first few times it hurt, yet sadness now gave way to anger and it was all Alphard could do to keep from lunging forward and smashing his fist in that pretty mouth Alphard now decided needed to be shut. How he'd accomplish this: there were several deadly scenarios playing in his mind, each drawing his grin -- the grin that had suddenly appeared out of no where, taking the place of what was once bewilderment -- a little wider.

"You have the balls to insinuate that I'm to blame? Cygnus Phineas Black you know as well as I that you were the last to see him. You were the final straw, the final blow, the final reason that boy took off as he did. I had nothing to do it with it and at that point I couldn't stop him if I tried. He was dead set in running as far away as possible from the pain you made him feel."

Game. Set. Match.

There was a sense of accomplishment that came with what Alphard knew was guilt now coursing through Cygnus' veins, an accomplishment that would later be thoroughly thought through and analysed until Alphard could take it no more. However, now was no time to bother pondering on such matters, and instead he was more than happy to fold his arms up over his chest, a look of smugness over taking what once was his ragged, worn stance. "I'm not as stupid as our nephew, brother. I won't let you hurt me as much as you hurt him. I won't give you the opportunity."

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[info]ygnus
2008-04-17 03:34 am UTC (link)
"A pity I failed to do the same."

The words were delivered slowly, calmly, in very much the same faintly disinterested tone that Cygnus used with all but a few people. By all appearances, he had withdrawn from the emotional charge of this pitiful situation, distanced himself in a way he hadn't with Sirius during that last conversation -- indeed, having gone from murderous to faltering to this iciness, there was a sharp 180-degree change to his demeanor. Alphard's words, devastating in their accuracy, seemed to have no other affect than to just collide off the wall Cygnus had put up.

But walls crumble, and so did Cygnus.

It happened quickly. The world had stopped as Cygnus said the words -- and then everything came crashing back into focus as he forgot how to breathe. With the final shards of steadiness, he moved, turning his back on Alphard in an attempt to keep the one he hated and loved the most from watching as he struggled for air, chest heaving and heart thrashing as he fought to breathe. Unbalanced, he threw a hand out to catch whatever he could for support, and then lowered himself onto the nearby chair his fingers had scrabbled against.

Alphard was right, he was always right, and Cygnus wished he could say I hate you and mean it. But there was no truth to the words, and they remained unsaid as he lowered his head into his hands, eyes screwed shut to prevent the hot, hateful tears from spilling down. Coiled into this position, he tried to bring himself under control -- wasn't this what Alphard wanted? seeing him cry like a pathetic little baby? -- but it soon became apparent that he was fighting a losing battle.

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[info]alphard
2008-04-17 03:46 am UTC (link)
There were only a handful of times Alphard could remember seeing Cygnus cry: when Walburga bit him hard enough to bruise, again when she stole his favourite teddy and now.. With a sudden frown did his bottom lip begin to tremble, though not in a fleeting attempt to hold back tears of his own. No, this was much different, this was the tremble of fear, of disappointment in no one but himself. Had those hateful words taken his brother from him? Merlin, Alphard hoped not, Cygnus was all he had left in this world and --

Without any sort of lingering hesitation did he move forward and wrap his arms firmly around Cygnus' waist, pulling him back against his chest as hard as possible. Alphard once confided in Cygnus, admitted that there was no safer feeling than being engulfed in a hug, pressed tight against his brother; only then could the world around them be entirely ignored. Now was no different, and Alphard could only hope it gave Cygnus the same feeling of closure that it did him in so many times in the past.

"I'm sorry. So sorry."

Cheek pressed to cheek did Alphard begin to rock him, a desperate need for this all to suddenly be okay overwhelming him much more than he would have liked to admit. "I didn't mean it -- didn't... Sirius was rash, it was bound to happen."

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[info]ygnus
2008-04-17 04:12 am UTC (link)
There was no hesitation, only utter compliance as Alphard drew him up. The tears that he had stalled from shedding, allowing them only to wrack his body in awful silent sobs, immediately began to fall as Cygnus felt his brother's sturdy body support him. They hadn't hugged like this in years, not since his youngest daughter's birth, but the memory of all the times they'd embraced each other like this, one serving as the other's anchor, made it so easy, so natural for him to slide his arms around Alphard's back in a hug that was every bit as strong as his.

Still, the tears kept coming. With a muffled sound emerging from the back of his throat, Cygnus turned his head so that he could hide his face in the crook of Alphard's neck, the material of his shirt becoming hot and damp as he fought to contain the cries. He was five again, fingers twisting into Alphard's clothes as the other became the big brother all children wanted: protective, safe.

No, he could never hate Alphard. He could despair at his bull-headed stupidity and pick hurtful yet meaningless fights with him, but this was his brother and Cygnus would not lose him like he had the others. The thought made him hold Alphard even tighter, as if he would suddenly disappear, yet despite the desperation with which he clung to him, it was clear that the hug was having its desired effect.

Slowly, the tears slowed. His breathing steadied. And slowly, hoarsely whispered, he said "Don't leave me like -- like they did."

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