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black. ([info]ygnus) wrote,
@ 2008-04-15 23:20:00


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Rarely was anything Cygnus did directed by instinct, but the final letter Alphard sent him had done the impossible. The exchange between the brothers had been marked, at least on Cygnus' side of the correspondence, by the scratching of quill against parchment as he set about replying in a tense scrawl that became ever more severe as the discussion drew on -- but on reading Alphard's last petty, hateful, petulant words, the paper was suddenly balled into his hand as his fingers coiled into a sudden fist.

Is that so much to ask; support from a brother I've been there for and who I'd hope to be there for me when I needed him?

Oh, Alphard, so typically obtuse. So willfully ignorant. His accusations were not something Cygnus wanted, nor, indeed, needed right now, not after a night of being screamed at by a woman he could barely recognize these days, and being held back by her animal of a husband as thread after thread was burnt from the stitching that made up Alphard Black's name. The drama that'd played out in Grimmauld Place drained him, but Alphard had always had a talent for plucking just the right string: and now, with the letter clutched in the unrelenting vice of his fist, Cygnus was white-faced with anger, a loud thud resounding across the study from the chair that fell back as he stood in one violent motion and --

Apparated directly into the living room of Alphard's flat.

"Take it back," came the half-snarled command as he advanced on his brother, his free hand coming out to grip and painfully twist at the fabric of his shirt and the underlying skin, while the other thrust the letter responsible for this rare show of anger in his face.


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[info]ygnus
2008-04-17 03:34 am UTC (link)
"A pity I failed to do the same."

The words were delivered slowly, calmly, in very much the same faintly disinterested tone that Cygnus used with all but a few people. By all appearances, he had withdrawn from the emotional charge of this pitiful situation, distanced himself in a way he hadn't with Sirius during that last conversation -- indeed, having gone from murderous to faltering to this iciness, there was a sharp 180-degree change to his demeanor. Alphard's words, devastating in their accuracy, seemed to have no other affect than to just collide off the wall Cygnus had put up.

But walls crumble, and so did Cygnus.

It happened quickly. The world had stopped as Cygnus said the words -- and then everything came crashing back into focus as he forgot how to breathe. With the final shards of steadiness, he moved, turning his back on Alphard in an attempt to keep the one he hated and loved the most from watching as he struggled for air, chest heaving and heart thrashing as he fought to breathe. Unbalanced, he threw a hand out to catch whatever he could for support, and then lowered himself onto the nearby chair his fingers had scrabbled against.

Alphard was right, he was always right, and Cygnus wished he could say I hate you and mean it. But there was no truth to the words, and they remained unsaid as he lowered his head into his hands, eyes screwed shut to prevent the hot, hateful tears from spilling down. Coiled into this position, he tried to bring himself under control -- wasn't this what Alphard wanted? seeing him cry like a pathetic little baby? -- but it soon became apparent that he was fighting a losing battle.

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[info]alphard
2008-04-17 03:46 am UTC (link)
There were only a handful of times Alphard could remember seeing Cygnus cry: when Walburga bit him hard enough to bruise, again when she stole his favourite teddy and now.. With a sudden frown did his bottom lip begin to tremble, though not in a fleeting attempt to hold back tears of his own. No, this was much different, this was the tremble of fear, of disappointment in no one but himself. Had those hateful words taken his brother from him? Merlin, Alphard hoped not, Cygnus was all he had left in this world and --

Without any sort of lingering hesitation did he move forward and wrap his arms firmly around Cygnus' waist, pulling him back against his chest as hard as possible. Alphard once confided in Cygnus, admitted that there was no safer feeling than being engulfed in a hug, pressed tight against his brother; only then could the world around them be entirely ignored. Now was no different, and Alphard could only hope it gave Cygnus the same feeling of closure that it did him in so many times in the past.

"I'm sorry. So sorry."

Cheek pressed to cheek did Alphard begin to rock him, a desperate need for this all to suddenly be okay overwhelming him much more than he would have liked to admit. "I didn't mean it -- didn't... Sirius was rash, it was bound to happen."

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[info]ygnus
2008-04-17 04:12 am UTC (link)
There was no hesitation, only utter compliance as Alphard drew him up. The tears that he had stalled from shedding, allowing them only to wrack his body in awful silent sobs, immediately began to fall as Cygnus felt his brother's sturdy body support him. They hadn't hugged like this in years, not since his youngest daughter's birth, but the memory of all the times they'd embraced each other like this, one serving as the other's anchor, made it so easy, so natural for him to slide his arms around Alphard's back in a hug that was every bit as strong as his.

Still, the tears kept coming. With a muffled sound emerging from the back of his throat, Cygnus turned his head so that he could hide his face in the crook of Alphard's neck, the material of his shirt becoming hot and damp as he fought to contain the cries. He was five again, fingers twisting into Alphard's clothes as the other became the big brother all children wanted: protective, safe.

No, he could never hate Alphard. He could despair at his bull-headed stupidity and pick hurtful yet meaningless fights with him, but this was his brother and Cygnus would not lose him like he had the others. The thought made him hold Alphard even tighter, as if he would suddenly disappear, yet despite the desperation with which he clung to him, it was clear that the hug was having its desired effect.

Slowly, the tears slowed. His breathing steadied. And slowly, hoarsely whispered, he said "Don't leave me like -- like they did."

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