Current mood:

thoughtful

Waiting is no fun
I find myself in all this down time at work and at home with no power, getting lost in my thoughts and when i get lost in them i get really confused and start thinking things I shouldnt think. Start wondering things i shouldnt but i am only human and I am curious but how far does curiosity take you when you are really alone or bored?

I have been very happy with how things are going in my life minus always being broke from shitty pay but Brendon is what makes me happy however his work schedule is so conflicting. We went from seeing eachother everyday to seeing eachother once a week if we get lucky. He works 12 hours a day 7 days a week (something like that) and its not always like that and I have been understanding and patient but then i find myself wondering about other people. If they'd have more time, what it'd be like, etc.

Those thoughts make me kind of upset because I dont want to think about anyone other than brendon because I am happy with him though we are not an official couple, he makes me happy, and so why would I want to ruin that? I have actually been thinking about inviting Mike out if i go out this weekend. I was thinking about another person as well...3 people actually just because I had a good relationship with them then it kind of *poof* in thin air...left me wondering if things could be the same as it was.

*sigh* Guess i should just be happy with what i have right? I normally am but I don't know how much longer I can just sit here and wait.