Dear Sunny,

I am entirely honored that you have invited me twice to your city, as your guest. When you come to Hesperia I will show you all of the beautiful places and some of the ugly places where I take pictures. We will go surfing on the coast and visit Hollywood. I have never been myself, but I imagine it would be fun.

You may not like my honest pictures, but I will show you my portfolio. I want to prepare you: I do not take wizarding photos. I prefer when pictures are simple and still. When Valentin is around Kazimir behaves. If not I will simply beat him until he dies does.

Drinking is half the fun of an evening. How will I ever manage to stay up all night to watch a sunrise without something to entertain me? I will tell you the truth. Cosmonauts do it better.

You do not want me to stop myself. Be honest. I do not know if good behavior is in the forecast. I will attempt to be a model citizen, but I know myself well enough. I will be on the evening news for some awful thing. Also, why must the cupcakes be vegan? What do you have against meat?

Always,
Stasi