Characters: Jools and her mom
Setting: Jools room, over the phone
Rating: SFW
Summary: Jools calls her mom to talk about the Bobby situation

Jools cast muffliato all around the edges of her room and plunked down on her bed. Phone in hand she dialed her home number and asked for her mother in a lowered voice, a tone she didn't use at CCI.

"Julien?"

"Mom?" she asked quietly, though she knew it was her. She needed the confirmation.

"It's me, darling," Michelline replied. Her daughter wasn't in the habit of calling home. "Is something wrong?"

Jools sighed and adopted the higher pitched voice she had worked hard to cultivate. "The school counselor is completely useless."

That was something Michelline had long suspected. Jools has to speak with the counselor once monthly. Those were the terms the school set so that Jools could attend under her female identity. Her former counselor in San Francisco was much better equipped to deal with her daughter's unique situation. "Do you need to talk to someone?"

Jools frowned. Why else would I call? "I've done something foolish."

"How foolish?"

Her mother wasn't giving her any ground today. It kept slipping out from under her. This was a bandaid she had to rip right off. "I kissed a boy."

Michelline covered her mouth with her hand and pulled the phone away from her head so that her daughter couldn't hear the dreadful noise she was making. "Didn't we talk about this?" she admonished once she could contain her own distaste. "You cannot play around with relationships."

She was fighting concern and common sense. Michelline had been very patient, very generous in the way she parented Julien. They had discussed that the girl should not date until she was fully, physically female. She might still want to inform her partners of her biological gender, but it would complicate matters so much less. Teenagers' lives were complicated enough. Having a skewed gender identity only added another complication..

"I know," Jools whispered. But she really liked Bobby. She wanted to see him again and spend time with him. She didn't know if she could do that without telling him her secret. She was horrified of how that revelation might turn out.

"You cannot tell him," Michelline urged, as if she could hear her daughter's thoughts. "What if he reacts terribly? What if he tells other students? You wanted to get out of CCI without anyone knowing."

And therein was the major concern. Jools needed to get out of CCI in one piece so that her father would never know the truth about his son who should have been born his daughter. Jools could graduate, disappear, become as she had always known, her body finally matching her mind. She would never see her father again, or perhaps she would only write to him, too busy for face time. That was how he had been for most of her childhood.

"I know," Jools repeated, this time it was more a moan than a whisper, a horrible sound of dread that she couldn't shake.

"Tell him you're not ready for a boyfriend. Or for physical affection. If this boy is worth it you can wait a few months."

Jools thought Bobby was definitely worth it, but maybe he didn't feel the same about her. Maybe cooling things off would end any chance she had with him. "I'll do what I have to," she replied sullenly.

"I know darling. I know how hard this is."

Jools sighed again, laying back on her bed to look up at the ceiling. She didn't have anything else to say to her mother. Michelline hadn't told her anything new. They'd talked about this before, except that the stakes weren't real then. "Good night mom," she said quietly, defeated and wishing she could talk to someone who would tell her to give it a chance, that she could be with Bobby and there would be no repercussions.

Michelline huffed momentarily, but decided that she wouldn't push it. Jools was already filled up with conflict. She didn't need any more mothering tonight. "Good night Julien."

Jools closed her eyes on that abhorrent name and hung up the phone. It was a small offense, a purposeful reminder of who she was and how that reflected on her current situation.

Tags: !complete