Lian Harper/Jade Arrow (rightontarget) wrote in dc_nextgen,
@ 2011-04-07 04:35:00

Entry tags:

Picking up the pieces (Cerdian)
The first thing Lian had did once the Suicide Squad had gotten her safely home? Flop down on her bed. She then made calls to everyone who probably noticed that she was missing to tell them that she was fine, and needed a couple of days to herself, but people could stop over if they felt so inclined.

Though she was kind of hoping that they wouldn't. She needed some time to think about things. About what happened. Damien. Cerdian.

Thinking of Cerdian just made a huge hole in her stomach. They had damaged their relationship beyond repair, and Lian wasn't sure if they could fix things this time. She wanted to...she really did. But she wasn't sure if they could.

A couple of days after she had returned home, Lian was lying on her bed, staring up and the ceiling and still mulling over everything in her head when she heard a knock on her door.

"It's open," she called from down the hall.

It was probably Tim. He called several times, and he was probably there with J'anna. Tim would ask her to go over what happened in exact detail while J'anna went through her cupboards, asking Lian if she had any real food.

Lian sat up on her bed, pulling her bathrobe on over her pajamas. She might as well make herself decent.

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	violettidemage 2011-04-08 01:29 pm UTC (link)
	"Why don't we agree on less bacon, then?" he asks. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rightontarget 2011-04-08 01:29 pm UTC (link)
	"Less bacon, more ice cream?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	violettidemage 2011-04-08 02:07 pm UTC (link)
	Cerdian shakes his head. "I knew you'd do that. Are you craving ice cream now?" he asks. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rightontarget 2011-04-08 02:21 pm UTC (link)
	"I was craving ice cream before I was pregnant," she said. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	violettidemage 2011-04-08 02:24 pm UTC (link)
	"Which means no place that holds ice cream is safe. Maybe I should be working on a spell to keep you in." he teases. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rightontarget 2011-04-08 02:43 pm UTC (link)
	"Do that, and I will kick your ass so fast, you won't even be able to blink." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	violettidemage 2011-04-08 03:40 pm UTC (link)
	"With all due respect, Lian...your foot can't reach that high. And I'm sure I can outrun you." he smirks. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rightontarget 2011-04-08 06:55 pm UTC (link)
	"Do not underestimate the strength of the pregnant woman when angered." Lian said with a smirk of her own. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	violettidemage 2011-04-08 07:09 pm UTC (link)
	"It's not strength I'm underestimating. It's height and reach. And flexibility." Cerdian says. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rightontarget 2011-04-08 09:00 pm UTC (link)
	"I'll rephrase- don't underestimate the strength, height, reach, and flexibility of a pregnant woman when angered." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	violettidemage 2011-04-09 12:01 am UTC (link)
	"Lian Harper. Do /not/ confuse me for some petty conjurer of tricks!" Cerdian says as his eyes glow and the walls begin to shake. Then they stop and he chuckles. "I /finally/ figured out how Gandalf did that." he grins. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rightontarget 2011-04-09 12:05 am UTC (link)
	Lian laughed heartily. "Do you know how to school Balrogs, too?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

violettidemage
2011-04-09 12:39 am UTC (link)

"I won't say that I do. I won't say that I don't.

I'll only say that I will feel a great swell of pity for the Balrog that chooses to cross my path." Cerdian chuckles.

It was really easily to just talk to her, to forget that anything had ever been wrong between them...but eventually, he has to.

"I have to go and get those spell components so that I can create these wards for you. Do you have anywhere you need to be tonight?" he asks.

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rightontarget
2011-04-09 12:47 am UTC (link)

"Before you go...there's something I have for you. Wait here." Lian walked to her bedroom, hoping that he wouldn't decide to leave.

When she returned, Lian presented him with a small box. Inside, he would find his seashell necklace that shattered when he died, glued back together. The cracks were visible, but it almost seemed like it had never been broken.

"It took a long time to find all of the pieces...but I did. I know, it seems stupid to have glued it all back together but after you died...I needed something to keep me from going insane.

I was...kind of a mess after you died."

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violettidemage
2011-04-09 01:10 am UTC (link)

Cerdian isn't sure what Lian is planning, but when she hands him the box and he opens it, he can't help but stare.

He'd thought of making another necklace like this, but it seemed, to him, like he was holding on to a piece of his old life by doing so. So he hadn't.

"Lian...I...you didn't have to do this." Cerdian says, looking down at her.

"But thank you. Thank you so much." he says.

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	rightontarget 2011-04-09 01:17 am UTC (link)
	"You're welcome," she said, giving him a small smile. "I want you to know...when you died, I felt dead inside. I felt like someone had taken a part of my heart and tore it out of my chest. I barely ate, I didn't bother to shower, and just let the phone ring off the hook for about two weeks. I didn't even leave my room." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

violettidemage
2011-04-09 01:34 am UTC (link)

"Why would you /do/ that to yourself, Lian? I would never want you to stop living because I died, no matter what that monster who wore my face said. You have children to worry about, Lian.

No matter the state of our friendship...I always want you to be safe, alive and happy. Always." Cerdian says, returning her smile.

"Your and your children deserve that." he says.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rightontarget 2011-04-09 01:43 am UTC (link)
	"Damnit do you think I did it on purpose? I /tried/ to hold it together after you died, because I knew it was what you would have wanted me to do, but I couldn't help it. I just fell apart. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	violettidemage 2011-04-09 03:26 am UTC (link)
	"Lian, you are one of the strongest people I know. I guess...I guess I never thought I was that important to you. That's not me taking a shot at you. I'm just saying that, compared to your family, or J'anna or even the Outsiders...I guess I just didn't think I rated that way." he says, shifting uneasily. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

rightontarget
2011-04-09 03:32 am UTC (link)

"Cerdian, you're one of the most important people in the world to me," she said. "And I'm truly sorry if I ever made you think otherwise."

Pause.

"I actually...when you were gone, I had a lot of time to think about things...how I felt about you, mostly. And even more recently...I've still been thinking...and I realized something I should have realized a long time ago."

There was another pause, and Lian almost lost the words.

"I love you, Cerdian."

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violettidemage
2011-04-09 03:40 am UTC (link)

Cerdian is speechless. The seconds tick by becoming minutes as he simply stares at Lian.

Those were the words he'd waited for so long to hear her say to him, long before he knew that that was what he wanted. He'd wanted her to love him and to someday marry her and have children with her.
He finally had what he wanted...

and he could no longer, in good conscience, take it.

He knew it would be wrong and selfish to say those words to her. She had her children to think of. Could he love the children of his enemy? He would have to if they were together. And what right did /he/ have to force himself into their lives? What if the children grew up to resent him for pushing their father away?

What would happen if her father or his mother disapproved?

What happened if things didn't work out and they could no longer be friends?

"I'm sorry. I have to go." Cerdian says.

And he vanishes.

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rightontarget
2011-04-09 03:58 am UTC (link)

Well, what did she expect would happen? That everything would suddenly be alright?

She missed her chance. She had had plenty of them, and she carelessly threw them away, blind to what she had in front of her. It was too late for her to go back and change it. He no longer felt the same way about her, and she didn't blame him.

She had no one to blame but herself.

Stupid goddamn hormones. She didn't want to cry right now, but she let herself sink to the kitchen floor, tears rolling down her face.

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