Ene (impotentwaffle) wrote in politico,
@ 2010-01-12 22:27:00

Entry tags:

To Callaway
Parker didn't have any injuries to speak of. He was very clear that he wanted to get out of the fucking hospital as soon as he possibly could. As the members of the team questioned him, he was short with his answers, sullen at best and belligerent at worst. They reassured him that they'd called Callaway and that the man would be there soon, but Parker had almost told them not to call because he didn't know if he was ready to see the man. Sure, Reagan had mentioned that the man had been waiting for him, but could he really trust to hope for something so amazing? In Parker's experience, he didn't get such a good thing twice, especially after he'd treated it so poorly the first time around.

Everyone had left him alone, moving on to the next victim, the next little headline or piece of the puzzle depending on how you looked at it. The silence of the little exam room was almost too much to bear and before he knew it, he found himself on the floor with his knees up to his chest, sobbing as quietly as he could.

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halloweenish
2010-01-13 05:47 am UTC (link)

Callaway had been on his way the moment that Agent Montgomery had called him. Despite the urge to flood the man with questions, it was clear in Liam's tone that he didn't have time for much of anything, and the call was literally less than a minute long. All that Callaway needed to hear was that they'd found Parker, and they were on their way to the nearest hospital. Once he knew what hospital, he was on his way, too.

Still, he was quite a drive away, and it felt like forever. He'd always been a laid back driver, but not tonight. A four hour drive took only two, and once he was parked he was nearly running inside. Finding the first Agent he could, which was a kid who had a very impressive vocabulary, he asked where Parker was and then he headed for that exam room.

The door wasn't closed all of the way, left just a crack open, and he pushed it open quietly. He heard the crying before he saw Parker. He'd been looking up at the exam table, and his gaze went to the chair, and finally to the floor.

"Parker," he said softly, and he headed over to the younger man to kneel beside him so that he could gather him up in his arms. He swallowed hard as he squeezed his eyes shut, his own body wracked with sobs as he clutched onto the man.

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impotentwaffle
2010-01-13 05:56 am UTC (link)

Parker gasped, surprised and suddenly afraid. But his body remembered those arms and that touch and immediately melted into it. He held onto him tightly and as the embrace continued, Parker kept cloying closer and closer, fingers twisting more and more desperately into Callaway's shirt. His brain simply would not understand why this man was here, but at the moment it didn't matter how illogical it seemed for someone to wait five years for the likes of him. What was important was that he was here.

"Fuck," he mumbled into Callaway's shoulder as his sobbing grew harder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I said those things. I've been wanting to tell you that for years now. I've never regretted anything more than leaving you so angry. I don't deserve you and here you are and I'm sorry. Please tell me you forgive me. Please. I just want to hear it. Please."

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halloweenish
2010-01-13 05:59 am UTC (link)

Callaway kept a tight hold on Parker, and the closer Parker got to him, the more he held on, the better Callaway felt. To have him back in his arms was like a thousand dreams come true, a dream he'd had often on many lonely nights that left him infinitely sad when he wokeup from them.

"Shh," he whispered as he pressed his mouth against Parker's temple, and he kissed at his cheek softly. "You didn't do anything wrong. You thought you were going to come back to me like you always did, so did I. And you did, you're here now, thank God. But if you need to hear me say it, then I will, Parker. I love you so much."

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impotentwaffle
2010-01-13 06:48 am UTC (link)

Under normal circumstances, Parker would have accepted that. But he had been obsessing over it for so long that he couldn't find another way out of his guilt. "Please say it," he said again, body shivering once. Maybe the relief wouldn't live up to how much he'd built it up in his head, but he needed it. He thought maybe it was the key to being happy again.

Callaway felt so good against him, better than Parker had even imagined. Sometimes, after particularly rough nights with Adam, Parker had been worried that being touched by Callaway wouldn't be the same, that it would be tainted somehow. Parker had learned to garner at least some pleasure from Adam, but now that he had this to compare it to again, he knew that that hadn't been pleasure at all.

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halloweenish
2010-01-13 06:58 am UTC (link)

Callaway stood up, taking Parker with him easily, and he kept on holding him. It felt so good to hold him, to feel him again, that Callaway couldn't even think straight.

"Then I do," he whispered softly. There was nothing to forgive, but he wasn't about to deny Parker anything in that moment. "I've missed you so, so much. I couldn't even name the dog, he doesn't have a name. I wanted to wait for you. We can name him Zin'rokh, if you want."

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impotentwaffle
2010-01-13 07:16 am UTC (link)

So overwhelmed with relief, Parker actually laughed a little, no other sound in the world capable of expressing the well of joy he'd found in Callaway's forgiveness, even if it hadn't been needed.

He pulled back just enough to be able to look at the other. "Have you just been calling him dog?" The fact that Callaway had been in a state of suspension, holding their life until Parker could get back, stunned him. He knew that if the tables had been turned and Callaway had gone missing, his whole world would have shattered. It was amazing to think that this man felt the same way about him.

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	halloweenish 2010-01-13 07:20 am UTC (link)
	When Parker pulled back to look up at him, Callaway realized he hadn't seen that face for five years. He lifted a hand up to gently brush his fingertips along the side of Parker's jaw, and he nodded his head a little sheepishly. "You know me so well," he said softly. "Your hair is longer. Do I look terribly old?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

impotentwaffle
2010-01-13 07:42 am UTC (link)

"I want to cut it," Parker said immediately. Adam liked his hair shaggy and as soon as he'd captured him he'd made sure to keep it kept at the length that was pleasing to him. Parker wanted to change that as soon as possible. He ran his hand through it and curled his fingers into a fist as if to illustrate that it was easy to pull, easy to grab a hold of and he tugged it once before letting his own hand smooth down his face to hide the sick grimace that that sensation had caused. While he was being held prisoner, things had been easier to deal with, but now that he was free, all of his experiences were coming back to haunt him.

He dropped his forehead to Callaway's shoulder. "You look perfect."

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halloweenish
2010-01-13 07:49 am UTC (link)

There were so many things that Callaway wanted to tell Parker, but he didn't want to overwhelm him. He had all of the boy's things at his own place, tucked neatly away into a room that was all his own. When he went missing, and his lease was up, they'd called Callaway because he was on Parker's contact list. Callaway had taken everything, packed it nicely, and took it home to put in the spare room. Over the years he'd unpacked it all, and now it looked like a room someone lived in, though no one did. He hadn't wanted Parker to come home and find that his stuff was gone because he was gone. He didn't want the boy to feel as if he'd been erased.

"You look perfect, too," he said softly as he wrapped his arms around Parker again. "You're coming home with me, right? I can take you home, can't I?"

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impotentwaffle
2010-01-13 08:15 am UTC (link)

He hadn't even begun to think of practical things like his stuff or his apartment. When Callaway asked about home, Parker felt like that was a very distant concept. Home. It scared him when he thought that word meant back to Adam's, back to his cell. "My notebooks," he said suddenly. "My notebooks are back there. All of my writing. My laptop." His breath went shallow and he clenched his jaw. Everything he'd created in the last five years was back in that cell and now it was gone, he was sure it was gone. "I wrote everything down. Elijah, Murphy, Shay. They're all back there, all of them." It was a shimmer of the trauma left in his brain and he shut his mouth when he looked at Callaway again, brought back into himself.

He was silent for a minute, reorganizing his mind into coherency. "To your place? Can I stay there until I find an apartment?"

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halloweenish
2010-01-13 08:20 am UTC (link)

"I'm sure that the Agents collected all of that for you," Callaway said softly as he swept his thumb against Parker's lower lip gently. "We can ask one of them before we leave," he added. At Parker's question, he nodded his head and dipped his head down to press his forehead against the shorter man's. "Of course. You can stay as long as you need. I'd like you stay forever, I keep thinking if I'd just said yes that night..." That Parker would have never gone missing. "I'm sorry. I wanted to be logical. But I love you, and love is never logical. Please, come home with me. Let it be your home, too. When you're ready, if you're... ready."

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impotentwaffle
2010-01-13 08:30 am UTC (link)

Parker squeezed his eyes shut, ready to cry again, feeling the lump rise up in his throat. In the beginning, when he was alone for that first year, he used to dream about Callaway saying something like that to him. He'd lost that hope so long ago and now the universe was just giving him everything he'd wanted. It didn't seem fair to go from hell straight to heaven, didn't seem possible.

"Yes. Please. Yes." It was too hard to form a complete sentence, so he just murmured the words back to back, over and over to try and convey just how much he meant them.

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halloweenish
2010-01-13 08:34 am UTC (link)

For the longest time, Callaway had been terrified that maybe Parker might blame him. Maybe he'd look back on their fight and blame Callaway for not saying yes. To know that he hadn't was so relieving, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the urge to cry again.

"I know this has to be overwhelming, I can't imagine the things you've been through, but I just want you to know what you're not alone. I'll help you through this, we'll do it together, okay?"

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impotentwaffle
2010-01-13 08:45 am UTC (link)

To Parker's own surprise, he wasn't dealing with this like he was used to dealing with emotional pain. He was opening up and letting Callaway inside rather than shutting down and pushing him away. It was a peculiar feeling, a very vulnerable one. But Adam had stripped him down so far that it was almost impossible to build a wall against Callaway, and he didn't want to do that either.

"So long as you promise that you're not obligated to me. You're not, you know. But at the same time, god, please don't leave me. Please." He knew that was a mixed message. Don't feel obligated but don't leave either. At this moment, he didn't know which would be worse: Callaway acting like this out of guilt and pity, or Callaway leaving him.

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halloweenish
2010-01-13 08:48 am UTC (link)

"I waited for you for this long, what makes you think I'd ever want to leave you?" Callaway asked with a laugh that was peppered with tears. "For the past five years, you're all I've wanted. No, ever since I met you," he mumbled before he pressed a kiss to Parker's mouth. "I wrote about you when it got to be too much to bear without you around, I wrote a lot," he whispered.

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impotentwaffle
2010-01-13 09:00 am UTC (link)

The kiss was difficult to take, but in the best possible way. He felt like he would burst with joy and relief and lust. Actual, full blown lust. He didn't think he'd ever feel that again for anyone, but there it was and he was so thankful that Adam hadn't been able to steal that away from Callaway. Parker kissed him back, hungry.

After a moment, the words sank in and he smiled a little. "You did?" He pictured Callaway typing away and every word was about him and while it was sad, it felt good to imagine that too.

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halloweenish
2010-01-13 09:04 am UTC (link)

Feeling that same emotion he'd felt five years ago again was absolutely mind blowing. It was even amplified by a million, as if that were even possible, and he kissed Parker back just as hungrily. Both of his hands came up to cup the younger man's face and he whimpered softly into the kiss, afraid that he was feeling too much and that he might burst.

"I did," he murmured softly. Some of what he'd written were memories. Some dreams. Some hopes. Some fears.

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impotentwaffle
2010-01-13 09:24 am UTC (link)

"I had to stop writing about you," he said sadly, feeling guilty about that now that he had Callaway back in his arms. He hadn't been brave enough to keep hoping. "I never thought I'd see you again and I couldn't stand to remember how happy I could be with you. It hurt too much. I'm sorry." Like he'd betrayed him in some way because he hadn't been strong enough to keep hoping for him. "I want to read everything you wrote."

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	halloweenish 2010-01-13 09:29 am UTC (link)
	"You can read it all," Callaway said with ease before he pressed another kiss to Parker's mouth. He pulled back and smiled through his tears as he swept his thumbs beneath Parker's eyes to wipe away his tears the younger man had been crying. "I've missed sleeping beside you," he said softly. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

impotentwaffle
2010-01-13 09:51 am UTC (link)

"I want to go home, but I need to make sure the others are okay." He got the feeling that Shay was taking care of Elijah, but he wanted to check on them before he left. And he wanted to be sure that Murphy's family was there to pick him up, protect him. He was worried about him, the way he'd hesitated to be let out of that miserable cage.

He kissed Callaway again, this time letting it linger, drawing on and on as it grew in intensity.

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halloweenish
2010-01-13 09:55 am UTC (link)

Callaway cupped Parker's face as they kissed, and he stepped closer to the younger man, as if he couldn't get close enough. He could never get close enough before, but now it was even moreso.

"I'll go speak with Agent Montgomery," he mumbled against Parker's lips once the kiss started to break. He wasn't quite ready to let go, yet. "No, I want to go with you. I'm not ready to let go yet."

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impotentwaffle
2010-01-13 06:43 pm UTC (link)

"Good, don't let go. Come with me." He wanted Callaway to meet the other three. He knew that they would all be permanent fixtures in his mind and he didn't want to forget them. He was not sure, however, that he'd ever see any of them again and so he wanted this opportunity to show Callaway a little bit of the light that had been in that place.

He stood up and tugged at the hem of Callaway's shirt. "You look as much a mess as I do. I estimated when you should have been here and you made it here in half the time." He led them outside the exam room and looked down the hall where he thought Elijah might be. "This way." He didn't care if someone tried to stop him; he was going to see all of them before he left.

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	halloweenish 2010-01-14 12:51 am UTC (link)
	Callaway was more than happy to oblige and he lifted Parker's hand up to press a kiss to the back of it with a smile. It felt so good to have his hand in Parker's again. "I've been a mess without you, yes," he said honestly. "But I tried to be strong for when you came back. I didn't ever want to give up." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

impotentwaffle
2010-01-14 01:04 am UTC (link)

He found Elijah and Shay's room first. He was relieved to see them together and he pulled Callaway inside. "This is him," he said to Elijah. He'd been there early enough on that Parker had still been talking about him, acknowledging Callaway's existence. "Are you guys okay? Did they find anything wrong?" He was clearly concerned about their well being and he was showing it more directly than he ever had while they'd been down in that basement together.

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	halloweenish 2010-01-14 01:24 am UTC (link)
	"I'm okay," Elijah said as he reached out to try and touch Callaway. "You're Callaway?" "I am," Callaway replied with a nod as he extended a hand out to take Elijah's hand. He didn't shake it, but simply held onto it. "It's nice to finally meet you," Elijah answered. "You're as tall as Parker said, I can tell by your fingers." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)