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Billie Trimble ([info]obtineo) wrote in [info]valesco,
@ 2008-04-10 22:05:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:cecilia hooke, evan rosier

Cecilia
He wasn’t even sure if this was a good idea.

There really wasn’t any way for him to know how it was going to turn out, him just…appearing, without any warning. But he had to get this over with. He couldn’t keep sitting around, not even knowing what was going on between him and Cecilia. It had been the only thing he had been able to think about for a long time, and he had been piling up work just to have something to distract him. But it wasn’t working. Nothing was working, because all he could think about was her, and it was driving him insane. It had put him in a foul mood, and while he usually had a high tolerance for things, he found himself getting agitated very easily…which was exactly what had happened in Caradoc’s journal. But he wasn’t even thinking about what he or Belby had said ( he wanted to fucking kill Emmet for thinking that he knew what he was talking about… ), but he was focusing on the fact that Grease was going on at Hogwarts.

It wasn’t even the play that had caught his attention. No, not at all, he couldn’t care less about watching the musical that his old school was putting on, but it was an open invite for people to go back to the school and watch. It was an opportunity to get to where Cecilia was…

Finishing off the vodka that was left in the bottom of his glass, he rose to his feet and reached into the inner pocket of his jacket to pull out his wand. He stalled, staring down at the thin piece of wood that was held in his fingers. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled it as a sigh before he shook his head. “I have got to be out of my mind…”

A soft pop was sounded as he apparated to Hogsmeade, a place he had been many times before. It wasn’t anything new for him to be there, but not for the same reasons. He hadn’t walked the path he was walking in nearly 2 years, the path to the carriages that lead to Hogwarts. He could see some familiar faces, but none worth talking to. Ugh, they didn’t matter, they weren’t important. He just boarded the carriage, and waited for it to get to the school.

God, that school. He had almost forgotten how big it was.

Stepping through the doors, he slipped his hands into his pockets, those eyes scanning the area. Students were moving back and forth, flinging their arms around family members who had turned up for the show, while he kept his eyes out for one particular Slytherin.

He had to be out of his mind.


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[info]cecilias
2008-04-11 04:50 am UTC (link)
There was no way in hell Cecilia was going to see Grease.

She was so sick and tired of hearing about the ridiculous Muggle musical, put on by that ridiculous Gryffindor, and how wonderful it was going to be. She scoffed at the overexcited students as they rushed across the entrance hall to greet their family members that had come to see them and pushed not-so-gently past a few giggling third year Hufflepuffs, determined to get up to the Slytherin dorms and away from all the insanity as quickly as possible. Dinner had been bad enough, listening to all the idiots squealing all excited, and now that she had a sufficcent mirgane, she really just wanted to go downstairs and take a--

Cecilia completely lost whatever her train of thought had been as she caught sight of... had she really? Did she really see that?

She had to do a double-take towards the head of blonde hair that she had spotted across the--oh jesus, it was. There was no mistaking Evan as she locked her eyes on his figure, glancing around the hall as if trying to spot someone.

Cecilia felt her heart pounding inside her chest, and couldn't tell whether she was elated or terrified. She wasn't prepared to confront him now, with no warning like this, and she didn't even know why he'd want to talk to or see her, if it was to make up or to cut things off. Or maybe he was just here for Kalista and he didn't want to see her at all, but that wouldn't be good because that meant he was still avoiding her... Should she go up to him? Talk to him? What did she even say?

Her feet seemed frozen for a moment as she stood paralyzed by indecision. And in the meantime, her eyes registered as that blonde head turned towards her and locked eyes on hers and--shit. Her hand gripped the schoool bag at her side as she stared back at Evan, appearing just as unsure and confused as she was feeling. She swallowed roughly, and after an excruciatingly long moment of silence exchanged between them, finally forced her foot to step off the ground and forward towards him.

As frightened as she was, she couldn't just not talk to him. It was one of those damnable effects he had on her.

"Hey." Cecilia's voice came out quiet and uncertain, and lame even to her own ears. Fucking hell. "I---long time, no see."

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[info]obtineo
2008-04-11 05:13 am UTC (link)
He froze momentarily as his eyes finally met hers, spotting her among the crowd of people after a few moments. It seemed that he was lucky that he got there when he did, since she had been turned to supposedly head down to the Slytherin dungeons , judging by how she had been turned when he first saw her. His mouth suddenly went dry, just staring at her, wondering if he should move…but he didn’t have to. She had already started towards him, giving him a few moments to shift his weight from foot to foot as he stared at the ground, only looking back up as he heard her voice.

“Hi…yeah, it’s been a while.” He cleared his throat and stared at the floor again, his hand raising to push his hair back. There were a few more moments of silence before he brought his eyes back to hers. “I wanted to talk to you.,.” he paused. "I could have waited until Hogsmeade, but I just...I wanted to talk to you." It must have sounded crazy, him coming all the way there just to see her.

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[info]cecilias
2008-04-11 05:27 am UTC (link)
Had the situation been any lighter, she might have had to fight off the raise of an eyebrow at his words. He didn't want to have to wait until Hogsmeade to do it? Like with the fact that he was here, that could have been either really good or really bad for her. Of course Cecilia was hoping to God for it to be good, but after he'd avoided her for so long? Left the country to get away? Could you blame her for a bit of pessimism and doubt?

"Oh," was the only answer she gave for a good few seconds. Her mouth was suddenly dry and words were difficult to grasp her fingers around. Awkward situation or not, she must have sounded like a bloody idiot. "Well, we could... common room, we could go to the common room? There shouldn't be anyone around tonight--with the play and all." To tell the truth, she was hoping that he'd accept, because if he needed to take the time to actually sit down to have this conversation, that meant it might not be a simple 'it's over'. At least she hoped not.

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[info]obtineo
2008-04-11 05:43 am UTC (link)
This was decidedly the most awkward conversation he had ever had in his entire life, and they weren’t even saying anything. Then again, that was probably why it was so awkward. Even the morning after he had found her at the party had gone smoother than this. They at least knew what they were going to say, and what they were going to talk about. But right now? Right now, he was at a loss. He didn’t know how this conversation would go, and he didn’t know what was going to happen, but he knew that he had to do something. Something to ease his mind, to make a final decision about what would happen with them, about what was going to happen with this new information that he had learned about her.

“Yeah.” That was all he said, accompanied by a nod of his head to let her know that he agreed with this decision. It probably was the best place to go, to get away from everyone…but then again, they were talking about the Slytherin common room, so he couldn’t be too sure of how many people had jumped at the opportunity to go and watch people dance. But, who knew.

He walked beside her, down the familiar hallways that lead to the Slytherin dungeons. He stood off to the side, letting her mutter the password before he followed her in. His feet carried him to the center of the room, looking around, taking it in. He felt a sense of nostalgia, standing there. “It’s the same.” He was speaking offhandedly, almost to himself. Maybe it was to break that awful silence yet again.

Turning around, he watched as she moved further inside before he gestured down to the couch, slowly lowering himself down to sit, even though he had a feeling he would be standing up in a few seconds anyway. He leaned back, his hands tugging down on the coat he was still wearing to adjust the sleeves, giving him something to do. Words were caught in his throat, and he wasn’t really sure how to spit them out, and he was afraid that if he tried too soon, he would choke. That was the last thing he needed…it’d only make things more awkward.

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[info]cecilias
2008-04-11 05:59 am UTC (link)
Cecilia watched Evan's profile carefully as he stepped into the common room--he said something she didn't quite catch, probably something to himself, and her eyes followed him too as he took a seat on the couch. She made her way down to where he was, but she didn't sit next to him as she normally would have, rather in one of the chairs next to the sofa. It was a defense mechanism, if you will, because she had no idea how this was going to go--and quite frankly, if things turned out badly, the last place she wanted to be was right next to him. The chair provided an easy escape route if need be, although she didn't want it to have to come to that. It was better safe than sorry, especially in such a precarious situation as had presented itself now.

As she lowered herself down into the armchair, she finally took her gaze away from Evan, and instead looked down into her lap. The pleats in her skirt were very interesting all of a sudden, and she became momentarily obsessed with smoothing them out with her hands. Cecilia was biding time, waiting for him to say something, because she didn't know how to start this. She didn't even know what he wanted to talk about. Did he want to get into it about her issues again, did he want to talk about what was going to happen to them...?

His expected words, however, did not come. More awkward silence filled the room, making the air so heavy around them that she wondered if she would suffocate from it. This was driving her mad, and after what had to have been a good minute, Cecilia finally looked up again, imploringly.

"What is it?" she blurted, the words coming out before she could even think of what she was saying. "Just--if you're going to break up with me, would you just tell me now? Sue me for wanting this to be as painless as possible."

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[info]obtineo
2008-04-11 06:39 am UTC (link)
He glanced at her when she spoke, feeling his mouth go dry again as he stared down at his lap, listening to everything else she had to say. It wasn’t surprising that she wanted him to just say what he had come to say. He had come there to talk to her, and he wasn’t talking. His mind went blank before he brought his eyes back to look at her. “I didn’t come to break up with you.” There was a long pause before he leaned forward, staring at the floor now, clearing his throat. “I came to talk about…I don’t know, to clear things up, to put things in their place. To figure out where we stand…and I know that the ball is in my court here. I know that I left, I know that I didn’t finalize anything, I know that. But I’m here now. It’s…late, I know, but I needed time. I needed to think, and I needed to get away to figure things out…but I didn’t. I still have no fucking idea what’s going on here, Cecilia.”

He brought his eyes back to look at her, actually forcing himself to look her in the eye. “I’ve never been in this situation before. I’ve never had to deal with any of this, I’ve never felt so-…I don’t even know. That’s the problem. I don’t know what I feel here, Cecilia. But-....” He sighed heavily, raising his hand to rub the back of his neck, staring down at the floor again. “I’m scared as all hell that you’re going to go down the drain if you don’t get everything under control. I do know that.”

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[info]cecilias
2008-04-11 07:09 am UTC (link)
I didn't come to break up with you. Those words were like a wash of relief, but they only lasted for a few sacred seconds as he continued to talk. Okay, so he wasn't breaking up with her--or at least he hadn't come with the intention of breaking up with her, but he was saying that he didn't know where they stood. Unsurprising, and Cecilia might have opened her mouth to say something about how you couldn't figure out where you stood when you just ran off the Rome to escape your girlfriend, but she was too intent on listening to what he had to say. He had been in total silence just a bit ago, and now that he was talking, she wasn't about to interrupt him.

As he finished, she closed her eyes and turned her head down again, feeling very suddenly more ashamed about this problem of hers than she ever had. It wasn't half as hard to deal with it when he was yelling at her about it than when he was telling her that he was scared for her--that struck a chord, and she opened her eyes again to stare into her lap.

"You know, that's the first time anyone's said that to me?" she said. Cecilia was fiddling with her nails, anything to avoid looking at him. "Everyone else just... well, either they do it too, or they don't think it's a big deal. No one's ever cared what happens, you know, I--I care, really I do, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do to stop."

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[info]obtineo
2008-04-11 07:45 am UTC (link)
“I know.” He said quietly, still not looking back to her. It seemed like this conversation would be easier if they didn’t make eye contact for the time being. That just seemed to make things more complicated, because they felt strained to speak when they looked at each other. He couldn’t even explain why, but it really was harder to say things he needed to say to her when he was staring at the floor, or his shoes, or the wall, or anything that wasn’t her. Maybe it was just that he was afraid of seeing her reactions…that had to be id. There wasn’t any other explanation for it.

“I just need to know that you’ll try…I don’t care what you do to get yourself straightened out, but I want you to try, because if you don’t even do that than I know you’re just giving in, because you think it’s too hard. Anything you’ve done in the past, if you’ve done anything at all, hasn’t worked. I don’t know what I can do to help you, but the main thing is that you have to let me help you.” There was a pause before he finally did look at her again. They didn’t make eye contact since she was still avoiding him, but he wanted to emphasize his next words. “I can’t do this for you. If I could, I would, but you need to take care of this on your own.” His voice was calm, but it was definitely strong to emphasize that he wasn't kidding around. He wasn't yelling, he wasn't scolding, he was just pointing out how things were.

She had to grow up. She had to take control of her life, or else she'd wind up dead.

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[info]cecilias
2008-04-11 08:04 am UTC (link)
She nodded silently to herself several times as he spoke. At this point, she would have agreed to just about anything to keep Evan, even if it was something as impossible seeming as getting rid of alcoholism. She didn't know how she was going to do it yet, but she would--she would, because he was there and giving her a choice and she wasn't going to lose him to it. No matter what happened, she wasn't willing to lose Evan to something like this, and if that meant busting her arse to try and quit drinking, well then... that's what she'd have to do.

And he wanted to help her, right? Just knowing that she didn't have to hide it anymore, that she could open herself up to him and ask for help was a relief in and of itself.

"I will," she answered, almost as soon as he had finished. Cecilia raised her head and met his eyes--she wanted him to know she was telling the truth, because she swore to God she was, even if she didn't know what she was going to do yet. "I'll try and--I can't promise I can do it, you know that, but I'll try. And I'll let you help me. I want you to help me, because I don't think I can get over this alone."

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[info]obtineo
2008-04-11 08:51 am UTC (link)
He didn’t say anything in response to her words, but he just looked her straight in the eye. As always, it was hard to tell what he was thinking, or feeling, no matter how hard you looked, so he had to give some indication that he was…glad. No, maybe that wasn’t the right word for it. He was relieved, that she was going to fight this, and let him do what he could to help. So, he gave a single nod of his head, as though he had fully processed her words in his head, and he understood. “It’s not going to be easy.” She already knew this, and he knew that, but for some reason he felt the need to say it out loud. Just to make things perfectly clear, so there wasn't any doubt.

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[info]cecilias
2008-04-12 04:01 am UTC (link)
"Yeah, I know," she said. She was quite certain that him telling her that hadn't been necessary, was quite certain that she knew far better than he did how difficult it was going to be, but she didn't say anything about it. She just agreed, because after all that had happened, Cecilia wasn't about to start another argument with him. She'd had about enough arguments with Evan for a lifetime, in fact.

Cecilia sighed to herself and stood up from the armchair, suddenly feeling the need to be closer to him. The danger was over, they were in the clear and it occured to her then that it had been a very, very long time since she had touched him--that had to be some kind of crime or something. Her feet carried her effortlessly--a stark contrast to the way she'd approached him in the hall before--over to where he sat, and she stood over him for a moment before leaning down and pressing her forehead to his.

"Thank you."

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[info]obtineo
2008-04-12 08:18 am UTC (link)
He nodded again, since once again that was all he was able to do. When she stood up, he straightened up, not knowing why she was standing until she approached him. He wasn’t sure if she was going to lead him out into the hallway and back to the front door, let him sneak away while the play was still going on…but no. She was coming towards him, causing him to tilt his head back slightly just to look at her. He closed his eyes for a moment as she leaned forward, feeling her skin against his own as he took in her familiar scent before opening them again, his multi colored hues trying to focus on her own, even though it was hard since they were so close. His hand raised up to play with the ends of her hair.

He didn’t understand why she was thanking him. Maybe it was a thank you for not breaking things off, but he highly doubted that she would thank him for that. Maybe it was a thank you for understanding. Maybe it was a thank you for telling her he would be there. He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t care, because all he wanted to do was kiss her…and that’s exactly what he was going to do. Using the hand that had been playing with her silken strands, he slid it beneath her hair behind her neck, pulling her closer so that he could press his lips against hers. She tasted sweet, as she always did. It was hard for him to wait for Hogsmeade every month to see her. Some people would tell him that absence makes the heart grow fonder…but it wasn’t like that. He felt the same way each and every time he kissed her, no matter how far between they were. It was something he had never felt before. Was it love? Who knew. Evan thought that it was a possibility, but the fact that he had to question it was why he knew he couldn’t say anything about it. He wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to her if he didn’t mean it. But even if he wasn’t able to say how he was feeling, he could try to express it.

She really didn’t understand what it meant for him to come back to that school. It was sudden, and quick, but she just…he really didn’t think she could.

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[info]cecilias
2008-04-14 06:15 am UTC (link)
The touch of Evan's lips was like taking a breath of fresh air--the best feeling in the world, and only amplified by the fact that they had just gotten through a very, very rough few weeks in their relationship. Things promised to continue to be rough, at least marginally, due to the nature of her problem, but at least the worst was over. People would tell her that the getting over alcoholism was going to be the worst, but Cecilia didn't believe that a bit; having to do without Evan was the worst thing that had happened to her in as long as she could remember, and she knew that if he hadn't been there, there wouldn't be any getting over anything. Truthfully, if things hadn't turned out the way they had, she was pretty sure she wouldn't find the motivation again until it was far too late.

Thank Merlin for this man, honestly.

One of her knees pressed into the couch on his right side and she leaned forward into him slightly, taking his face in her hands as she did so. Lucky, she was so bloody unbelievably lucky.

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[info]obtineo
2008-04-16 04:06 am UTC (link)
It was probably a bad idea for him to kiss her when he had. It wasn't even because he wasn't enjoying it, it was because he was. It was never easy for him to spend time with her and know that he would have to let her go back to school for another month, and it wasn't easy for him to sit there with her half straddling him, knowing that he would have to leave her this time. It was going to be up to him to pull away, and walk away. "I should go..."

But he couldn't bring himself to do it just yet. The words were mumbled against her mouth, before he placed her lower lip between his own, sucking lightly on it as he leaned back into the couch, bringing her with him so that her other leg had to go on the other side of him. His hands went to her thighs, feeling her bare skin beneath his fingertips and his palms since she was still wearing her school uniform.

"I really...should be going..." the words were broken up into fragments since it was hard to pull away for even a moment to speak them.

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[info]cecilias
2008-04-16 11:09 pm UTC (link)
"You're going--to--leave me--now?" she spoke in-between kisses, finding that her tongue was currently tied up in far better things. With him leaned back and her on her knees, Cecilia came up inches taller than Evan, and maybe it was the being in control like that that made her more insistent than she would have usually been. She knew that he had to go soon or there was going to be trouble, the musical had to be nearing its end by now and people would be filtering back into the common room, but---Merlin. It hit her just then that she suddenly knew what it felt like to be him. This was the first time she'd had to stay and wave goodbye as he walked away. It was a funny paradox, really.

Cecilia leaned her head down and dove towards his neck, nibbling playfully at the skin there while her fingers ran through blond locks, nails grazing lightly over his scalp. She sucked at the exposed flesh on Evan's neck, aiming to leave a mark--he was still hers after all this, and if she couldn't be with him for another month, then she was going to make sure that every other girl that crossed his path still knew it.

She came up again a minute or so later and paused for a second, unable to help the smile on her face as she looked at him. There was no way he could imagine how happy she was for him to be here, right now. "You're going to touch me like that and then run off?" she teased, her voice dropping low. She leaned forward to graze his lips with hers, a hint of contact, and let her eyes focus straight in on his. "You're such a tease, Rosier."

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[info]obtineo
2008-04-17 12:01 am UTC (link)
“One of my many flaws…” The words were dry and sarcastic, which was probably a rather familiar tone. He nudged his nose against hers before he pressed their lips together for another deep kiss, eventually sitting up straight so that she would have to stand again. He didn’t break the kiss as he rose to his feet, standing with his legs still up against the couch as he broke away from her mouth to plant kisses down her jaw, and down her neck. One hand pushed her hair away, twisting it around his fingers, pulling it very gently to cause her to tilt her head to the side before leaving his own mark on the sensitive skin there, his other hand going around her waist, to rest on the small of her back to hold her close. It was almost like a brand, commanding ownership. She was his, he was hers, and that was that.

Once he was done he exhaled a sigh against her skin before he let his fingers slide through the hair he had been holding onto, kissing her throat before he made it back to her lips, reaching out to grab both of her hands, lacing his fingers with hers. “You’re very distracting…”

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[info]cecilias
2008-04-17 01:44 am UTC (link)
"I aim to be," she replied with a smirk, squeezing his hands lightly. Cecilia placed one more--pointedly long--kiss on his lips, and then pulled back reluctantly, unlacing their fingers and forcing herself to lose contact with him. He really did have to get going, or both of them were going to be in trouble, and she knew that if she didn't let go now, she wasn't going to be able to make herself do it again.

Sighing, she gave Evan a regretful smile. "I'm letting you go now, so I'd suggest you take the opportunity before I change my mind and decide to never let you leave."

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[info]obtineo
2008-04-18 07:43 am UTC (link)
"Of course you do." He said, mirroring her smirk with one of his own. He enjoyed what he knew was going to be the last real kiss he would have with her until...well, until Hogsmeade, which was only about a week away. It still seemed like too long, though. It was always too long.

He was grateful that she pulled away when she did, allowing him to stand on his own, his fingers fidgeting at his sides now that he didn't have her hands to hold onto. Another smirk was given to her next statement before he took in a deep breath and exhaled it as a sigh, brushing his hands through his hair to give him something to do...and to fix it since he was sure that she had unintentionally messed it up ever so slightly while running her fingers through it. "You're too kind." Dropping his hands down, he paused before stepping forward, giving her a small kiss. "Until next week." With that, he turned and headed towards the door, not even looking back at her once he got to the portrait hole. He exited into the familiar hallway, and continued to walk, just making it to the front doors as the audience from Grease leaked out of the Great Hall. Huh. Perfect timing.

Now he had to get back to the real world. And he wasn't looking forward to it...but he did know things would be easier to handle now that everything was cleared up with Cecilia. It felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders as he hopped onto the train, watching it fill up with proud parents and relatives who had watched the play before it finally took off. His eyes turned to look out of the window, watching Hogwarts and Cecilia get further and further away.

Until next week.

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