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The Nintendo DSi is an amazing piece of technology, with all sorts of enhanced graphics, a webcam, and etc etc blahblah. I'm not selling you one, so I can skimp on the details of it. But I am giving one away, brand new in box with the plastic wrap still on. While playing Cooking Mama, I noticed some of the touch pad features really aren't being used to the extent they could be. For all the games the DS offers, how is it that few of them are sex related? Here's what I have in mind, a game that not only lets you use the touchscreen to pull panties off and rub exciting places, but that also uses the webcam feature to snap photos of yourself and pastes them in with FGI employees so you can be the best stalker ever. Of course, you'd be pulling the clothes off our employees as well.
And here's what I want you to do. The problem is, as I'm told by several Nintendo representatives as well as top game developers, that there simply isn't a market large enough for one of these games that they'd be willing to "sully" Nintendo's name. Well I say that's bullshit, so I've created a petition. I want 50,000 signatures. The average price of a DS game is around $30, and with a guaranteed 50,000 buyers at the least, that's $1,500,000 profit. And I'm sure more than 50,000 copies will sell, because it's
sexy. What I want my employees to do is help me gather these signatures, digitally and in person, by whatever means possible. Secure the sale, no matter what.
The employees who gather the most signatures (They have to be real people, too. Don't lie to me.) will each win a brand new DSi as well as a game bundle, that even has Cooking
and Gardening Mama.
For a copy of the petition complete with company clipboards and pens, please head to Human Resources, where you will also find a more detailed copy of the rules and methods that will be in effect for this mission. I trust you'll all do me proud. I believe in you.
Furthermore, I will answer any questions or concerns you may have. If you have objections, I'd like to see you just
try to argue them.
Thank you and good luck.
