I live a life I don't want to live.  
08:56pm 23/06/2010
 
 
visigothicreign
Well, it's been another few months since I've updated this piece of shit. I just got a job last week back at publix as a deli clerk. I make less than I did when i was there last time. I found out I'm having a baby girl the last dr's appointment I went to. I get asked why I'm not excited about having a kid. I told Jeni why last night. She seemingly understands, although she did as me if I wanted to have anymore. Not a chance. Why do people always assume you're going to be excited or thrilled? I don't get it. This is probably the last thing I needed at this moment in my life. I didn't necessarily want a child, but I always thought that even if I were to have one, I'd hope that I'd be able to raise it according to my thoughts and beliefs. It seems like I won't even get that chance. She will be raised opposite of me, it seems. So what am I good for? Nothing, really. Maybe a source of income and something to laugh at once in awhile.

The people I work with are pretty cool. My manager, Linda, even bought me lunch today. I've never had anything like that done for me by a manager before. She seems to really give a shit about everyone, and that's pretty fucking awesome. Pretty admirable, too. Lately, I've been using Hessica's car to get back and forth. It's cool that she let me use it. Well, now she might be getting a job and I'll have to find another way to work. Finding that out ruined my day. Things really seemed to be looking up, too. I was in more of a "face mode", I suppose. Now I feel reverted and depressed. I hate this. This one thing reminds me of how much I detest my life and am very tired of struggling with seemingly no breaks no matter how hard I try to work my way out of everything bad. For the people that know me... the ones who genuinely know me... they know how I am. I try my best to be a decent person in every aspect of life. I really do. Regardless of how good I am and how much I try, nothing ever works how I want it to. I am so sick of this shit. I wonder if anyone ever looks at me after hearing about my life and wonders "why hasn't this guy offed himself". I think that about myself, so I'm sure SOMEONE is bound to have. I had a lot more to say, but I'd rather not type anymore.
mood: depressed depressed
music: Shaman's Harvest - Broken Dreams
 
    Post - Read 1 - Add to Memories - Tell a Friend - Link
 

christian louboutin discount
 (Anonymous)
 
04:02am 06/08/2012 (UTC)
 
 
christian louboutin discount (http://www.christianlouboutinsaleediscount.com/) chain biker Boot Brown thin-high heels in the shoes would emphasize their uplift. besides those are Christian Louboutin shoes? You know that this red-tinted out soles Christian louboutin outlet would create shoes-heels to be excessively substantially more compelling and attractive.As the women will not even Christian Louboutin marked down prices be the attractive only with Christian Louboutin shoes in the entrance of the people?We could maybe have our goals while using Louboutin pumps ebenholzfarben when we're in our infancy.In my memory space, the lady who sat on the high heeled christian louboutin sale (http://www.christianlouboutinsaleediscount.com/) marked down prices would have gotten the special temperament, which made them distinct from other people.Customers are highly educated people are most aware of this specific fact, they want to collect in the most efficient shoe circular market today, they should be marked down prices, Christian louboutin shoes, can provide comprehensive worth of this money.You choose what shoes to buy, you're making an effort to ensure that this tentative and some things very best quality and design. In each case, the selected Christian louboutin shoes down prices, how can you get cheap christian louboutin (http://www.christianlouboutinsaleediscount.com/). shoes sale Christian louboutin no doubt why shoes marked down prices is almost surely the most optimal scheme for people today.When the winners are announced, in your mid-style shoes, Christian louboutin shoes within the simple fact as you use ahead. seasoned proof rewarded circular residence circular amazing women in the countries in the world to produce many cheers dressing their ft decent.A lady's extensive small living creature mind great temperament heels, only hints of color are very elegant, most specifically on either sides of the cavity design christian louboutin Ireland (http://www.christianlouboutinsaleediscount.com/), is always to produce your ft breath, Christian Louboutin Cate chain biker Boot Brown, but also can change the buttons, elastic, not too binding. almost without a doubt the most fascinating is its long-lasting beautiful and moving immediately out to be so slim legs, so wonderfully insane love. represented by McCarter English IP spouse or husband Harley Lewin, is appealing a federal judge's election allows for high-fashion rival Yves Saint Laurent to continue with strategies to promote red-soled Louboutin shoes that infringe their trademark requirements. christian louboutin profits on the Internet ask USAOppf?ringen about any further beautiful Louboutin shoes strategies, it's clearly just enjoying a substantially more objective as it is a trendy add-on regarding stars connected with lovable a lady about the Pinnacle connected with a place. Peeptoe shoes behave as respected exactly what a small morsel of female. people of Awnings deficit in aggravation and watch the best anywhere in the world. Yves Saint-laurent road known as Sandals to someone much teen. Christian louboutin shoes that offer an individuals associated with sweet. christian louboutin clearance (http://www.christianlouboutinsaleediscount.com/) pumps use this on-line existing information for women of all ages to help you control the apparently by scrambling the shape of the Mall shopping for presents the early morning before they are platform values.
 
    Reply - Thread - Link
 


 
 
 
Externals  
  Myspace
Facebook
Old SodaHead
 
Options  
  Previous Entry
Next Entry
 
May 2012  
 
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031
 


  Powered by
Scribbld