From: soleada	Date: September 3rd, 2010 12:58 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Stasi,

There is so much more to life than pain and passion, there are all the in between moments and if you can’t enjoy those moments it sucks the life right out of you. I really don’t want to see that happen to you anymore. It’s little things.

Muggle studies wasn’t particularly my forte. I agree though, there are certain subjects in which one can learn more on their own.

It does indeed confuse me. Is displaced aggression really healthy though? I could hug you right now for saying that. Too bad you’re in California. Maybe it’s cheating but I kind of had the feeling you wouldn’t hit me back. Goodness knows what he would do.

There is no way Anastas. No friggin way. And if that’s your goal then I hope you have a lot more patience because I’m not budging.

Yes. And the punching. Don’t forget the name calling chamaco And the real conversations.

Yours,
Sunny

	From: anastas	Date: September 3rd, 2010 01:08 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Sunny,

I do not feel as though my life is being sucked out of me. What a peculiar way of saying. You will have to show me these little things. Maybe I can change my mind. I still think I should just run away from you. I do not like to feel the things I do when thinking about you.

Displaced aggression is better than bottled aggression. Trust me. This is something I know a good deal about. You can hug me all you like, so long as you leave me with a good bye slap. I do not hit girls. I do not respect the kind of men that do. Though I am not opposed to doing other things which make women uncomfortable.

You will crumble one day. My charms will win you over and at last I will finally be able to enjoy the cupcakes which you have withheld from me for so long. I am more confident of this than anything else we have discussed in our summer correspondence.

Ah the name calling. And the real conversations so long as they stay between you and me.

Yours,
Stasi

	From: soleada	Date: September 3rd, 2010 01:21 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Stasi,

I will show you the little things. And you’re going to love it. We’re going to frolic through fields, skip stones, bake cookies, and just enjoy things. I think you’ll change your mind... eventually. Please don’t run away from this.

I will trust you on this one. Bottled aggression is not fun. I’ve hidden it for so long. I’ve never had to worry about it before you. And all the other boys I beat up. But more specifically you. Sounds like a fair enough trade. A hug for a punch. I know you’re not the kind of guy who would hit a lady but there are people out there who would and who would do worse. I know. Oh trust me on this one Anastas, I am all too familiar with this tactic of yours to make ladies feel uncomfortable. You better wipe that smirk off your face. I don’t need to be in Hesperia to know it’s there.

I doubt it. You keep pining away for my cupcakes but it’s not going to happen. But I’ll be damned if you don’t enjoy being a goof for once.

Of course the conversations stay between us. I talk to you about things I can’t don’t talk to anyone else about. You should know that I very much enjoy our conversations though.

Yours,
Sunny

	From: anastas	Date: September 3rd, 2010 01:35 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Sunny,

Can you really imagine me doing such silly things? Next thing we will be having tea parties and blowing bubbles. You may want to start even littler.

I must be a catalyst. You know me far too well to see my smirk without being here. I thought my smirk was one of those things that endeared me to you. If not I must refresh this tactic. I can only imagine the shock, horror, amusement, and endearment that has passed over your face while reading my letters.

What about my cupcakes? Do you not have a desire to enjoy them? I cannot allow you to enjoy my buffet if you cannot reciprocate. I probably could. If you wanted.

I have begun to wonder why it is so easy to share these things with you when I could not speak much beyond taunting while we kissed. I have begun to worry that I will be tongue tied again when we meet in person. And not simply because I intend to have my tongue literally tied up with yours. I did not expect to learn so much from a simple letter. Several now, actually.

Yours,
Stasi

	From: soleada	Date: September 3rd, 2010 01:54 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Stasi,

Of course I can imagine you doing such silly things. You know I almost always carry bubbles with me where ever I go. I will start littler though, just for you. We’re going to go on a walk when we get back to school. Nothing more, just a walk. You might be impatient at first but in time you’ll learn to just enjoy.

You have no idea. Ha! I think I know you better than you give me credit for. I hate love find that smirk both infuriating and endearing. I couldn’t imagine you without it. Yes, it was a pretty wide range of all those things whilst reading your letters.

I don’t know if you noticed but I’m not particularly interested in enjoying any cupcakes. It’s not you at all. It’s me and my fucked up past.

I find it curious as well. It’s much easier to write you letters than it is to talk to you. I didn’t know I would ever want to share with you some of the things we’ve shared. I don’t want to feel the things I feel for you, but it’s too late for that now. You don’t make me so nervous when you’re all the way in California and I’m here in NYC. If you asked me last semester if I thought I would ever know this much about you, I would have thought you were crazy for thinking such a thing possible. I’m glad you wrote that one simple letter. It answered some questions.

Yours,
Sunny

	From: anastas	Date: September 3rd, 2010 02:44 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Sunny,

I will agree to a walk, but I will not agree to enjoy it. If we do this you will most certainly be seen with me. I do not mind, but doubtless you will need to explain yourself to your friends once again.

I must learn a way to make my smirks more endearing and less infuriating. I love it when a girl simply swoons. What would you like more off? Shock or delight? Surprise or horror?

I will try not to take offense. I had noticed. Punch me if I go too far.

School will not help in this regard. We will not have the entire country between us to aid in our conversation. We will be forced to learn how to communicate face to face. It will be an interesting challenge. I am not certain I can be this honest in person. I am quite pleased I started this correspondence as well. You have certainly brightened what would have been a gloomy summer. What questions did you have?

Yours,
Stasi

	From: soleada	Date: September 3rd, 2010 02:53 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Stasi,

I wouldn’t expect you to agree to enjoying it but I’m going to do my best to make sure you do. Well if you don’t mind being seen with a goody-goody like me, I don’t mind being seen with a delinquent like you. Maybe I don’t want to hide anymore. Mostly they’re just worried. I’m really not too worried.

Perhaps you could work on making it look less like a triumphant smirk. I’m not someone you can triumph over. Swooning? I never said anything about swooning. I don’t swoon! Okay. Maybe just a little. Perhaps a little less horror and a little bit more of everything else.

Please don’t take offense. I have boundary issues and that’s my own issue to deal with. Trust me, if you go too far I won’t be able to control my punches. You will most definitely be punched. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that.

It will definitely prove to be an interesting challenge. I hope we find a way to continue our honest correspondence. I will miss it if we don’t. For this to continue though you need to take a few breaks from kissing me to actually talk to me. Your letters have surprisingly brightened my summer at times. Mostly questions about whether or not my feelings for you were valid. You know. Just... questions. About you.

Yours,
Sunny

	From: anastas	Date: September 3rd, 2010 03:00 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Sunny,

A delinquent and a Chamaco? I am pleased that you do not mind being seen with me. I never mind being seen with such a beautiful girl. They have reason to be worried. I do not have a good history with women. They may be afraid that I will break your heart. The best solution is not to give me your heart. It is a ridiculous idea considering we only kiss and then you punch me.

I cannot help that my face celebrates before I have perhaps actually triumphed. You are not someone to triumph over. I like it especially when you swoon.

You can punch me no matter how far I go. I will push gently, but never so hard that you need to punch your way out in a blind panic. Unless that is what you have been doing all along. If this is true, I wonder and worry at what may have happened to you.

Kissing is so much easier than words. I can say more with my tongue than with syllables. I will try to continue in my honesty, but it is not so easy to speak so plainly when there are many other ears always near.

Yours,
Stasi

	From: soleada	Date: September 3rd, 2010 03:28 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Stasi,

And of course I forgot a total bad boy. I really think there is a teddy bear under that tough exterior somewhere. An intimidating, sullen, sometimes vicious teddy bear. Well thanks for the compliment. As far as my friends go, they only know your reputation, they don’t know the honest you. As for my heart, that too is a steel fortress. Alright, so that’s a bold face lie. Is it really such a ridiculous idea? You know there is more to this than kissing and punching. You won’t break my heart, I won’t let you.

I’m glad that we have that understanding. I like it when you’re especially swoon-worthy. For the record... it’s when you smile, when you genuinely smile.

Well I always end up punching you anyways, no matter how far you go. And if I’m being completely honest... then yes, it is panic. Like I said before, it’s not your fault, but you seem to be the only one to understand that. I’m sorry that I’m like this, I know it must be frustrating.

No one needs to know our conversations if you consider them to be as private as I do. I’m sure I’ll find a way of keeping you honest.

Yours,
Sunny

	From: anastas	Date: September 3rd, 2010 03:36 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Sunny,

Even teddy bears have claws. This is an important thing to remember. It is good that you will not let me break your heart. It is one of the few things I have learned that I am actually good at.

I do not smile often. There are few things that make me do so. Lorelai is one of them. I do not know if you met her last semester. She is my familiar, a California King Snake. More like a queen. I have to get her a new tank, she is about to outgrow the last one.

I will repeat it as many times as you need me to. You may hit me whether or not it is my fault. I can earn it or someone else can earn it. I will take every punch you need to throw. You may be surprised or disgusted to find that I am not frustrated, only enticed.

They are exceedingly private. Our confidences will be kept under lock and key. That I can promise. I do find amusement in the idea of you making an honest man out of me. And yes, the smirk is back on my face.

Yours,
Stasi

	From: soleada	Date: September 3rd, 2010 04:01 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Stasi,

This is true. Cute things usually bite the hardest. You seem to care an awful lot that I protect myself from you, especially for a boy who prides himself at being good with breaking hearts. You’re good at other things that don’t involve destruction.

I noticed you don’t smile a lot. I wish you would smile more. I’ve never met Lorelai before, but I would love for you to introduce me, you know... if you want. She has a very pretty name. I don’t know if you’ve met Brutus or not but you’ve probably seen me lugging him around campus. He is my familiar, a big fat tabby cat. He gets so lazy at school because it’s so hot but I try to take him on walks. Even though he’s exceedingly lazy he takes care of me.

I hope you don’t bruise easily then, I think I have more punches left in me than even I care to admit. I don’t know how I feel about this arrangement yet but as it stands I’m glad you haven’t run away. Your persistence is refreshing to say the least. If you knew the truth though, you wouldn’t want me. You’re beginning to make me think that some day I might get over it.

I think I would die if anyone ever found our letters. Good. You’re letters are very important to me which means they’re also very private to me as well. Oh trust me, I already knew it was there, waiting to get smacked off. Don’t you worry though, I’ll still make sure you stay honest... at least when it’s just me and you.

Yours,
Sunny

	From: anastas	Date: September 3rd, 2010 04:19 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Sunny,

Maybe I have learned this summer that your heart is worth saving. As your friends will surely point out, I am entirely too gifted at breaking any heart in my path. Still I do not want to push you away completely. We are a paradox.

Lorelai is beautiful. She is not venomous and she is quite used to be handled. I know most girls are squeamish about snakes, but Lorelai is the best to learn to trust and respect. I have seen you with the giant orange cat. He enjoys the walks as much as I imagine I will.

One of the few charms I am skilled at is episkey. You will have other reasons to hit me. Remember that I want to show you more defense. I do not know if I am the person, but one day someone will make you feel safe.

Yours,
Stasi


Stas included a picture of his familiar Lorelai

	From: soleada	Date: September 3rd, 2010 04:26 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Stasi,

What if I were to tell you that I think your heart is worth saving too? I think we both run the risk of getting hurt by not sprinting off in the other direction. We are indeed a paradox. I don’t want to push you away completely, and I don’t want you to push me away either. I just fear what may happen if I don’t keep pushing though.

She’s gorgeous Stasi. I’m not too squeamish about snakes, there are a lot of really big snakes in Mexico but they are not as beautiful as Lorelai. Yup, that’s Brut. Well if you start pulling a Brutus, I will carry you the way I carry him. I bet you wouldn’t be pleased if I gave you scritches behind your ears though.

It’s a good thing. I’m pretty good at that charm too, if you’d let me help out a few times I might feel better about the whole punching thing in the first place. I’m sure I will have other reasons to hit you, it doesn’t mean I’ll feel any better about it. I would like to learn more self defense though, you’d make a good teacher seeing as though you can already handle a pretty good punch if I do say so myself. Who knows what will happen. I’ll figure it out in the future, right?

Yours,
Sunny


Sunny included a picture of Brutus sprawled across her lap outside.

	From: anastas	Date: September 3rd, 2010 04:43 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Sunny,

I would thank you for the nice thought, but then I would inform you that you are quite mistaken. We are like the tide, Sunny. There is a push and a pull.

I will tell Lorelai that you think so. I see that Brutus certainly fits him for a name. I know you are a strong girl but I do not think you will be able to carry me in the same way, unless of course you use magic. I would be quite pleased with scritches. I dare you to try them as a punishment.

You can episkey me all day if you like. You are very strong, but you lack technique. You use quodpot tactics, which are fine for the game field but not so much for a more serious situation. We will practice.

It is getting closer to the beginning of the school year. I look forward to seeing you again. I am not terribly excited about going back. This summer was not a complete loss, but I did not enjoy it as I usually might.

Yours,
Stasi

	From: soleada	Date: September 3rd, 2010 04:49 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Stasi,

You are wrong. Simple as that. Every heart is worth saving, otherwise there’s no point to anything at all. No point in forgiveness, happiness, sadness, nothing. You’re just simply mistaken. I agree with you about the push and pull between us. I’m still learning to deal with it though. I’ve never felt so much repulsion and attraction for the same person.

That could be arranged but I still think I could carry you. Perhaps not the same way I carry Brutus, your legs would drag on the ground, but I could so carry you. Scritches are not punishment! They are pampering for grumpy fat kitty boys!!! You and Brut are going to get along just fine.

Why would I episkey you all day? Oh. Is that another one of your little innuendos? That’s fair, I never really learned a technique. I’m glad you would like to teach me. I think you’ll find me an excellent student. This really is indescribably weird isn’t it?

I hadn’t really noticed how close it was getting to school. It’s been a busy summer writing to you with everything going on. I look forward to being back at school and trying out new classes. I’m taking advanced transfig, I’m pretty excited. I look forward to seeing you too. It’s only a few days from now. I’m sorry you couldn’t enjoy visiting Russia. I hope I did enough to writing to help you through this summer.

Yours,
Sunny

	From: anastas	Date: September 3rd, 2010 05:09 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Sunny,

I will agree to disagree with you. Not every heart is worth saving. Some times, Sunny we are too honest with each other. I would tell you to trust your instincts, but they are pulling you in two opposite directions. I can hardly trust my own.

What an amusing picture we would make on the front lawn. I will have you know that I am not a grumpy fat kitty boy and I take offense to the remark. I will defend the honor of Brutus in this matter. Though he may be grumpy, fat, and a kitty boy, he does not need to be reminded.

You should go back and read all of my letters again. There is more innuendo than just your cupcakes and charms. This is disturbingly weird and I am thrilled at every new turn.

I can help you in transfiguration. I have not studied it at the institute, but I learned much during my last vacation in Russia. I have learned my animagus form (and what a bother it is to register with the Wizards Administration). I can show you some tricks which may help, little nuances that they do not have time to teach at the school.

Our summer of correspondence has been a summer well spent. It seems to have flown by with your words and all of the waiting for them in between.

Yours,
Stasi

	From: soleada	Date: September 3rd, 2010 05:16 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Stasi,

I can not agree to disagree, but I will drop it for now. I disagree, there is nothing wrong with honesty sometimes. We have been shockingly honest with each other these past few weeks.

We most certainly would. There’s nothing wrong with being a grumpy, fat, kitty boy! I love my grumpy fat kitty boy! And the fact that not only did you write out grumpy fat kitty boy but that you also wrote scritches. Don’t take offense Stasi, it’s not a bad thing to be a grumpy fat kitty boy. Though you are far from being fat. Brutus loves being a grumpy fat kitty boy, he loves his belly scritches. Although now you have to meet him.

I already have. Several times. It apparently all went over my head Anastas. I guess we’re just going to have to get used to being weird.

I would really like to work with you at transfiguration. That’s awesome! I’ve never seen any of my friends transfigure into their animagus form before! What is your form? I tried at the very end of the school year and grew a really long tail! omg how embarrassing! I think my form is going to be a Great Dane considering the tail.

I agree that the summer has been well spent. Although I must admit I hated waiting to hear back from you. I’m also incredibly nervous about seeing you again. Damn it.

Yours,
Sunny

	From: anastas	Date: September 3rd, 2010 05:30 am (UTC)		(Link)

Dear Sunny,

Then I will tell the truth. I was not surprised, but I was not happy to learn that I repulsed you. I would not have thought that such disappointment was possible.

How many times can you write out grumpy fat kitty boy in one letter? I am intrigued by belly scritches. At some point you must indulge my curiosity. This, I suppose is the opposite of innuendo. It can not go over your head when I hit you with it. I have been over our weirdness since the second kiss. It still thrills me, but I am no longer hung up on how bizarre this has become.

I transfigure into the Black Mamba snake. It is lucky you are not squeamish around them. I will help you as I can, though if you managed a tail last year I have no doubt that you will learn quickly enough in class.

There are only a few more days before I fly out. I will not miss the desert this year. It may surprise you that New Orleans is actually cooler. I miss winter, not that NOLA gets much of that.

Yours,
Stasi