From: yevgeni	Date: January 15th, 2011 11:31 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"No," he said quietly. He face was thoughtful, his lips drawn slightly down in a frown and his eyes darker than normal. "I was too young when..." he wasn't exactly sure himself what he had been too young for. When they fell apart as a family? When his mother died? When he stopped trusting people? No... it was before all that.

"I was just too young," he sighed.

	From: babalon	Date: January 16th, 2011 01:19 am (UTC)		(Link)

"It was your mother's?" Emilie guessed, not mincing her question for the sake of pity. She scooched closer against him, her arm slung around his waist. She knew that their mother had been killed by a vampire, but it had been mentioned only a few times, only in passing.

She accepted that everyone had personal tragedies, and frankly she hadn't wanted details. Why was this different?

	From: yevgeni	Date: January 16th, 2011 01:37 am (UTC)		(Link)

"Yes," he said simply. It was hard to explain why the music box was so important to him and even harder to explain why he wanted to tell Emilie all of the sudden. Perhaps it was easier being lonely when there was someone sitting there with you.

"I have no fond memories of her," he said staring out at the trees. "All I have is this music box, and it brings me no joy, just... reminders."

	From: babalon	Date: January 16th, 2011 04:47 am (UTC)		(Link)

"What do you remember?" Emilie asked, leaning her head into the crook of his shoulder. Was there a moment in time when all the de Kooning boys were like this? Quiet, shy, strangely gentle? One central moment that made them all... crazy?

No way, if that were true Yevgeni would be... just like them.

	From: yevgeni	Date: January 16th, 2011 07:08 am (UTC)		(Link)

He wrapped his arm around her gently and took a deep breath before continuing on. "Before she died there was fighting, yelling, and quiet. Sometimes it was so quiet I thought I had died, but then they would start yelling again." He tried to keep that cliche haunted look out of his eyes but some things were was just too fitting.

"The night she died... it was a whirlwind. My father woke us in the middle of the night and told us to pack. We did as we were told and packed, but we wanted to know where mama was. He only said she was gone. I ran and got her music box from her room, the one she played for me when she was actually home," he remembered his tiny feet padding down the hallway and then ripping through her drawer to get it. "I brought it so that when she found us she could play it again, I know she loved it. She never came though, father eventually told us she was attacked by a vampire and killed. He was not sorry at all."

"It has always been about violence and selfishness in the de Kooning family, that is what I remember, that is what I must always remember because I will change that."

	From: babalon	Date: January 17th, 2011 02:54 am (UTC)		(Link)

What did you even say to that? For the first time in a very long while, Emilie couldn't think of anything to say. She wanted to. She wished. She couldn't relate in the slightest. Her mother? She honestly felt as if she wouldn't mind never seeing her again. But she knew what it was like to lose someone, and to hold on to the barest scraps of the most unpleasant memories.

Finally, while nuzzling into his shoulder she asked, "And that's why you keep it? To remember to be different?"

	From: yevgeni	Date: January 17th, 2011 03:03 am (UTC)		(Link)

Yev felt comfort for the first time in a long time, he was relieved to have it off his chest. It was no longer his secret alone.

"Yes," he said quietly. "I do not want to ever be like them. I do not want to hurt people the way that they have."

	From: babalon	Date: January 17th, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)		(Link)

"They're not all terrible," Emilie said, her tone defensive. Though it was debatable that she was defending them for selfish reasons. She had more in common with Stas and Kaz than Yev. More often, she was worse.

Though never to Yev. He was too soft and she felt... somehow obligated to protect him. Maybe it was because having been close to Anastas connected her to Yevgeni somehow, like a sort of dysfunctional unofficial family. You watched out for your friend's siblings. ...Even if you didn't consider yourself friends with them anymore.

"Then don't," she shrugged. "It's not that hard."

Like she was one to talk.

	From: yevgeni	Date: January 17th, 2011 04:03 am (UTC)		(Link)

"I know that they're not all terrible," he said simply.

"I'm so afraid that there is something inside me, something that will snap," his voice was hushed but there was a fear and an urgency there. What if there was something in his blood, something in his genes that would make him like the rest of them? Like his father.

	From: babalon	Date: January 17th, 2011 08:03 am (UTC)		(Link)

Emilie sat upright like a shot, her free hand flat on the grass next to her, the other still holding the music box. She leaned close, examining his face for a reaction. "Inside you? I don't believe it for a second."

She smirked now, her head tilting ever so slightly in thought. "You don't have a malicious bone in your body, Bambi."

	From: yevgeni	Date: January 20th, 2011 04:16 am (UTC)		(Link)

Yev couldn't help but laugh at Emilie's inspection. "If you are so sure Emilie, then perhaps I should stop worrying about it." He offered a meek smile.