From: imperfectly	Date: February 11th, 2011 04:42 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"Okay I'd like that." Sera smiled, leaning back on her hands next to Jenny. She followed Jenny's eyes and stared up. The sun peaked out behind the clouds and was shining through the trees. It was a little bright and see had to blink. She looked to Jenny instead, still smiling.

"I'm really glad you're here." She beamed again. It wasn't the first time she told the blond that, but she couldn't help repeating it, it spoke truths. "I've missed not seeing you everyday." She continued kind of quite her eyes lowering from Jenny. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say to her best friend but she felt it.

After spending a while longer relaxing down by the lake, taking in the outdoors, enjoying the warm air and each others company the two made there way back through the long path towards the house. The afternoon air was much hotter than when they left that morning and part of her wished Jenny felt differently about swimming. It was a great day for the lake.

Back at the Donnelly-Rousseau house, Tatum and Rath had finally dragged themselves out of bed and wear sitting at the kitchen table eating Cereal and Pop Tarts when Sera and Jenny walked it. Sera gave them both a glare, probably high already she thought, rolling her eyes as she walked past them. "Come on. Lets go upstairs for a bit." Sera turned to Jenny, motioning her through the kitchen door and away from her siblings. She didn't need to argue with Tatum right now. Not about drugs or whatever other stupid thing would come up. Not now, not in front of Jenny.

	From: 867_5309	Date: February 13th, 2011 10:40 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Jenny followed behind Sera obediently, just smiling faintly at the twins as they walked past the table. "Pretty baked, huh?" she joked, when they were heading up the stairs and beyond earshot. She had dated Charlie long enough to spot a wake-and-bake for what it was.

"I guess you're the odd sibling out," the blonde teased, lightly reaching out and prodding the other girl's side slightly. "Ella says she can't believe we're related sometimes, I know how you feel," she relented as they came to Sera's room. She flopped into the desk chair when she reached it, pulling her legs up and crossing them underneath herself.

	From: imperfectly	Date: February 14th, 2011 12:19 am (UTC)		(Link)

Sera took a seat on the edge of her bed and faced Jenny sitting in the chair across room. She wished she could sit closer too her. She smiled over at Jenny, noting her hair and how cute it looked, tousled from the slight breeze outside. She was crazy about her, even knowing Jenny might never feel the same didn't change that. Sure, Jenny gave off vibes, or at least what Sera thought was vibes, but that was it. Beyond that she had nothing.

"Do you think it's okay for two friends to be more then friends, even if both of those friends are girls?" Sera asked feeling stupid, of course she didn't care if someone else was gay, she never did.. that didn't mean she was she liked girls "Sorry stupid question I know the answer." She looked at Jenny with a smile, letting her legs swing off the side of the bed.

	From: 867_5309	Date: February 14th, 2011 01:00 am (UTC)		(Link)

Jenny furrowed her brow a bit, smiling some over at the younger girl. "Sure, why wouldn't it be?" she replied, affirming just the sort of answer Sera had probably been expecting. She smiled a bit wider when Sera berated herself, the blonde girl shaking her head quickly. "No, it's not stupid," she assured her.

"Why do you ask though? Who are you crushing on over there?" Jenny joked, looking at her friend. She had known Sera was bisexual since they had met, but she had never really known the other girl to show an extraordinary amount of interest in anyone, male or female. Finding out that she might have a scandalous crush was awesome. "Can I tell Ella?" she added quickly, still grinning.

	From: imperfectly	Date: February 14th, 2011 02:04 am (UTC)		(Link)

"Oh no reason." Sera shrugged. "Just wondering that's all." Jenny always seemed really friendly and understanding of her bisexuality. It was one of the things she liked about her. She decided it was stupid to lie any more. "Uhh Actually I really like this friend of mine. You know her." Sera lifted her head and smiled across the room at Jenny. "She's really amazing." She beamed.

"No know you can't tell Ella! I mean I guess if you wanted to you could, if that's what you wanted." Sera added vaguely, realizing she probably wasn't making much sense.

	From: 867_5309	Date: February 14th, 2011 02:29 am (UTC)		(Link)

Sera definitely wasn't making much sense, but Jenny understood. She had a crush on someone, and whoever it was, it really had her flustered. Jenny could understand that much; she had been there for sure. If Sera wasn't ready to tell her up front, she'd let it go, but she intended to tease.

"Really? Is it Ella then?" the blonde girl asked, laughing a little and leaning back in the chair. "Come over, whisper it in my ear, it'll be our little secret," she teased, cupping a hand around her ear dramatically. "Tell me, c'mon!"

	From: imperfectly	Date: February 14th, 2011 03:02 am (UTC)		(Link)

"No it's not Ella." Sera blushed a little. Jenny was close, "Close though." Sera's eyes shifted around the room, looking at everything but Jenny. Finally looking back to the blond she smiled. "Um I guess I could whisper it in your ear." Sera grinned. "If you promise not to tell anyone if you think it's weird." Sera laughed almost nervously.

Sera walked slowly across the room towards Jenny, pausing right in front of her. "Okay calm down, I'll tell you." Sera giggled placing her hand on the side of Jenny's head pushing her hair back behind her ear. She leaned in and whispered quietly. "It's you." Sera froze in place and waited for a response, figuring Jenny would quickly pull away she closed her eyes and waited.

	From: 867_5309	Date: February 14th, 2011 03:26 am (UTC)		(Link)

Jenny was so giggly and in such a mood to tease, she was barely listening to what Sera actually said. The connection between how close she had been went right over her head, until Sera actually spoke to her directly, right up against her ear. It made Jenny shiver, leaning back more fully in the chair. Her smile faltered, still present but a little apprehensive.

"What?" she asked cautiously, not sure she had heard that right. "Who?"

	From: imperfectly	Date: February 14th, 2011 03:43 am (UTC)		(Link)

Sera tilted her head slightly, looking Jenny directly face to face now "You Jen. I like you." She spoke softly, she wanted Jenny to know she really meant it.

	From: 867_5309	Date: February 14th, 2011 03:50 am (UTC)		(Link)

Well, that settled it then. It was out there, and there was no denying the feeling that came over her when she heard it, really heard it. Clenching in the pit of her stomach, tingling down into her legs. She was glad she was sitting down. Jenny tried to keep a straight face, but she couldn't help a slightly nervous smile.

"Me?" she echoed, her voice cracking slightly. She stared into Sera's face, trying to read her, and failing. There was no deciphering if this was a joke, but she had a feeling it wasn't. Sera looked about as serious as a heart-attack. But then again, that was typical.

Swallowing hard, Jenny closed her eyes and leaned forward, pressing her lips somewhat awkwardly against Sera's. It made Jenny's legs shake, even sitting in the chair.

	From: imperfectly	Date: February 14th, 2011 04:06 am (UTC)		(Link)

Sera wasn't really sure why it was happening. But suddenly Jenny was kissing. Jenny hadn't really given much of a response otherwise and Sera couldn't really read what she was thinking. Does this mean she feels the same way? Sera asked herself. She kissed Jenny back not wanting to miss the moment she been thinking about for a while.

"What was that for?" Sera asked with a big smile, finally pulling away from Jenny. She moved back just enough to get a good look at her face, she still couldn't tell what she was thinking. She put her hand on Jenny's knee. "Omg are you shaking? Are you okay" She asked concerned. "I shouldn't have said anything."

	From: 867_5309	Date: February 14th, 2011 01:52 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"No," Jenny blurted, before she could stop herself. She stared back at Sera, still shaking, still unsure of what to say next. What was there to say? This was her best friend. Other than Ella and Charlie, this was the person she was closest to, told the most to. It wasn't like Quinn, it wouldn't be clean cut and simple, friendships and relationships were so.. messy.

More than anything, she didn't want to hurt her. What if she didn't even really like it? What if Quinn was just different? And if she gave Sera that false hope, and then just let her down..

"I think I have to go home," she continued, adverting her eyes finally, staring toward Sera's bed instead of her face. It was hard, with them being as close as they were. Sera was leaning in, practically in her lap, and Jenny's heart was racing despite itself.

	From: imperfectly	Date: February 14th, 2011 02:44 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"Sorry." Sera appologized. "Forgot I said anything. You're my best friend. I never should of told you." Sera lowered in head and backed away from Jenny just slightly, not losing her eyes. "I'd rather be your friend. I promise." Sera felt a little stupid. She hated it. "I understand. You don't have to go though, I can sleep on the floor and we can pretend this never happened." Sera tried to fake a laugh.

	From: 867_5309	Date: February 14th, 2011 05:02 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Jenny listened to her, eyes still staring off, trying not to look into Sera's but sort of failing. It was hard not to look at her, to listen fully to her when she spoke. She had an authoritative tone, it was almost.. well, sort of sexy.

Shaking her head to rid herself of that thought, the blonde pushed the chair back slightly. "No, seriously I.. it's not you," she began, pausing before she automatically delivered the next more common line. "It really is me," she murmured, looking up at Sera. "I just can't-- I didn't mean to make you think I was.. like, or anything. I'm not sure that I'm-- sorry."

	From: imperfectly	Date: February 14th, 2011 05:40 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"Don't apologize you have nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn't have said anything." Sera repeated. "Actually I'm glad I did." Sera spoke up again. "You're my best friend like I said. You deserve to know. I just wish I didn't ruin your visit." No wonder Sera usually avoided this type of thing, it wasn't easy.

"You're right. I had no right to throw that on you. I don't even know if you are either, you probably aren't, I guess I just hoped." Sera rambled on lowering her eyes from Jenny. It was harder to look at her.

	From: 867_5309	Date: February 14th, 2011 07:01 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"But I'm not-- I don't know. I could be, I mean.. I don't know," the blonde managed, knowing she wasn't making any sense, but unable to express it any other way. "Sera, I just can't. I'm scared we might--"

Get attached, for one. What if they did, and she wasn't even bisexual after all? Her mind was racing with possibilities. How did you know? People always said they just knew, and Jenny wasn't sure what she knew right then.

"It's my fault. I made you think I was.. like, I didn't try to flirt," she murmured, standing up from the chair, looking away from the other girl, clearly embarrassed. Did she try to flirt? Sometimes, maybe. But not like this, it was just for fun.. right?

"I'm sorry," she blurted, finally looking back at Sera. "I really should go."

	From: imperfectly	Date: February 15th, 2011 07:57 am (UTC)		(Link)

"Its okay Jen really?" She lifted Jenny's chin with her hand looking her in the eyes. "It okay if you're not, and it's okay if you have absolutely no idea. It's okay all of it Jenn. You'll figure it out." Sera let her hand slide across Jenny's cheek.

"You didn't make me think anything. I just like you." Sera spoke softly, walking away from, she sat down cross-legged on her bed. "You didn't do anything. I'm such a terrible friend for throwing this on you." Sera signed leaned her head against her palms resting on her knees.

"I understand." Sera spoke again, Jenny had every right to be freaked out. She reached down and grabbed Jenny's bag next to her bed and leaned out to meet the blond half way. "Really don't be sorry though, I'll see you at school, okay?" Releasing the bag, she tried to fake a smile.

	From: 867_5309	Date: February 15th, 2011 08:18 am (UTC)		(Link)

Jenny felt terrible. She reached out to take the bag, only pulling it to herself when Sera released it. She looked at the brunette, wanted to say something, but didn't know where to even begin. It was so much more complicated than it was coming across, and Sera was her best friend, she didn't want to leave her with the wrong idea..

She just didn't know how to explain at all. It was like being put totally on the spot.

"You don't have to be sorry either, I'm just a freak. I shouldn't have led you on," she finally managed, clutching her school bag tighter. "See you at school," she murmured, turning and heading out of Sera's room. She practically took the steps two at a time, heading for the living room.

This was such a mess, she had to get home as soon as possible. She'd need to cry it out before she went home, she'd have to use the whole walk back to her house, plus think up an excuse for being back so early. She had been planning this visit for weeks, and now it was just gone to shit.

Too bad she couldn't just say that. She at least hoped Ella wouldn't notice she had been crying when she got there. She'd have to get herself together before that happened. It was looking like a longer day already.

	From: imperfectly	Date: February 15th, 2011 06:56 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Walking over Sera turned the knob on her bedroom door and stood holding it open for Jenny as she left. She felt so bad, she could barely look at Jenny. She ruined everything, she knew it. "You didn't, you're not.. don't be so hard on yourself." Sera tried to add comfortingly but Jenny was already half way down the hall way. Whispering a quiet, "C-ya at school." She turned and closed her bedroom door, leaning her back against it.

She fell to the floor and put in hands to her face, just as the tears started. What had she done? She wished she never told Jenny. Part of her wished she never liked her at all but the other part couldn't forget the way Jenny would look at her sometimes.

She leaned back and pulled her knees up to her chest. Everything was so confusing and screwed up and for once she didn't know if there was even anything she could do about it.