Wade Wilson (mercwithamouth) wrote in marvel_nextgen,
@ 2010-04-28 15:55:00

Entry tags:

THERE GOES THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!
Ever since extracting himself from that god forsaken shipping box, Deadpool has been on a string of hot dates with ugly dudes. They've all died with beautiful bloodflowers blooming from their heads and chests, but that doesn't matter! Deadpool is bored. He needs a challenge. He needs... a taco! Now the whole story leading up to how Deadpool got to where he could even access tacos is a long and drawn out affair and in all honesty it's actually really boring. In fact, I even told Deadpool that there were no tacos in Somalia, but he didn't believe me.. Oooooooh no!

Oh, and who am I? Well - I'm Wade's third personality.

ANYWAYS, Wade was totally bummed out when he got to Somalia and realized that there are no tacos there. The idiot wandered around for a few days, marveling at the sights and sounds. The mercenary bazaar was one of the best we've seen on years! Seriously! You should see the rocket launcher we picked up...

Of course, all good things must come to an end, and some of those pesky pirates decided that they wanted our rocket launcher. So. As I'm sure you can imagine, things got a bit nasty.

Deadpool is, at this current moment, standing on the bough of the ship, eying the midnight water just over the side. The pirates somehow managed to gang up on him, and have subdued the insane man with no less than 20 ft of rope and several heavy chains.

"Guys? Seriously - I don't know how to swim and it's just going to be really annoying if you make me walk the plank," Deadpool says. "Can't we just talk things out?"

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	mercwithamouth 2010-04-29 12:34 am UTC (link)
	No one wants to know where the Nachos and nutrient bath go. Or the tequila. By the time Kelly has gotten her 287, Wade is just about slobbering drunk and mumbling about Bea Arthur and gmilfs. Funny thing how if you don't have a body, you can actually get drunk, for once. Mmmm.. tasty nachos.. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

goesbothways
2010-04-29 12:38 am UTC (link)

After confirming that dad's-head-in-a-bowling-ball really does have amazing bowling-287 properties, and he's drunk enough to appreciate it, strip clubs are next on the agenda.

"Oh yeah, now that I have a parent to introduce her to, I should bring my girlfriend over. That's one of those dad things too, right? Not to mention, you missed a lot of birthdays. So much to catch up on."

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mercwithamouth
2010-04-29 12:58 am UTC (link)

"Ooooh, gonna take me home to meet the girl?" he echos. "That's totally a Dad thing; just make sure that she's ready for Twenty Questions. And then the traditional Feeding of Dad Nachos and Tequila." he then decides aloud.

It seems he can.. somehow.. hop the ball. With two little bounces, he looks up at Kelly and says with a big grin, "Kitten-kisses, you're the best daughter in the whole world.." he paused, then said "What do you want for your birthday, diddlysnooches?"

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goesbothways
2010-04-29 01:07 am UTC (link)

"Well, let's see, when I was little, I wanted a pony... now I want a rocket launcher. I don't think they make ponies with rocket launchers." she ponders aloud.

"And... yeah. You're going to love her, daddy. She keeps a full-auto modded pistol in her handbag, and two concealed handguns... oh, and she has knife fighting training, and was able to identify one-hundred and forty-three pressure points without cheating."

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	mercwithamouth 2010-04-29 01:12 am UTC (link)
	Headpool sniffles a bit, and nods his head to everything Kelly says. "Wow, sweetie.. She sounds like a total catch!" He swishes around ab it in the ball, and then hrms some as his face skews into a thoughtful expression. "Ponies with rocket launchers wouldn't be as useful as wombats with rpg's. They're smaller and make a bigger splay when it goes off." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

goesbothways
2010-04-29 01:15 am UTC (link)

"Yeah, but what little girl wants a wombat? They smell funny. Hmmm, how about a sports car that drops land mines and has retractable gatling guns? That'd make up for no pony." she decides, before switching mental gears back to her dreamy girlfriend.

"Oh she is, we have a date this weekend to go blow up a warehouse, and if we time it right, we can get in a contact sniping run too. I'm teaching her how to spot for me."

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mercwithamouth
2010-04-29 01:24 am UTC (link)

"Now Kelly-pants, I want you to be cautious. Remember to practice Safe Gun-handling when you've got a spotter that you would rather not have to replace."

Sighing, he blows up a stream of bubbles into the tank, and then gives a little bit of a drunken hiccup. "Alright. Daddy wants to see some panties drop. C'mon baby-girl! Let's go see those boobies and Peacemakers!"

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	goesbothways 2010-04-29 01:26 am UTC (link)
	She frowns. "No, the girl with the Peacemakers is mine... you can have the other ones." They don't interest her, but its all worth it to go see her twirl her guns, yes. That stated, bowling-ball-dad and Crosshairs go skipping off to the strip club. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mercwithamouth 2010-04-29 04:07 am UTC (link)
	"You're right, you're right.." agrees Dad in his soup of nachos and tequila and nutrients. "Just make sure to point me up a good skirt and I'll be happy." And oh man.. Did she point him at quite a few pretty skirts. He never got a look at the Peacemaker chick though. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	goesbothways 2010-04-29 06:33 pm UTC (link)
	Of course he didn't. The joys of having dad in a bowling ball. Every time Miss Gunns comes up, she just turns the bowling ball around to face the men's restroom. At least she always turns him back when the next act comes on. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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