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Draco Malfoy ([info]lordlyheir) wrote in [info]notanother,
@ 2012-10-25 18:54:00


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Draco wasn't looking forward to this, but he felt like he had to do it. Last time he'd tried to talk to Merlin the other boy had claimed he needed to see his father and ran off, but if he cornered Merlin in his -- apparently private -- room, he could force a conversation out of him. He had his occlumency shields up around his mind and both sets of memories as tight as he could get them. Merlin didn't need to know he was from an alternate timeline.

He knocked on the other boy's door and stepped back. If Merlin didn't want to show him memories, that was fine. Draco at least wanted to sort things out so the Dark Lord's son wasn't feeling upset with him. Merlin as an enemy seemed detrimental to Draco's well-being.

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-25 11:09 pm UTC (link)
Merlin was sitting on his bed, alone, wondering what the wolf next door was doing. He frowned to himself for a moment, then glanced at his watch when he heard the knock on the door. Was Thoreau here this late?

He pushed himself up and walked over to the door, not bothering with pulling his clothes back on. It was late and he didn't feel like pants were necessary. He opened the door and looked at Draco on the other side, eyes moving over him. "Hello." He stepped aside. "What are you doing here?"

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-25 11:13 pm UTC (link)
"I thought we should talk," Draco said, keeping his eyes on Merlin's face when he noticed he was naked. "We haven't really had an opportunity to."

He stepped into the room. "I didn't realize you'd be... I don't know. Naked. It's not weird for me to come see my friend, is it?"

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-25 11:16 pm UTC (link)
"I'm more than your friend. But, if that's what you want to say to me..." Merlin turned and walked further into his room, shutting his door with the wave of his hand. He fell back into his bed and looked Draco over.

He glanced at the clock again. "You know my father doesn't allow me to be out of my room at a certain time. I was settling down for the night."

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-25 11:37 pm UTC (link)
"Betrothed? Fiance? I don't know what you want me to call you," Draco said, leaning against the wall when Merlin fell onto the bed. He was so moody. Draco was used to being the one who got to pout about everything.

"I don't know, actually. I guess it makes sense now that your father's employed werewolves to roam the halls at night." Draco ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't chose to lose my memories. I'm trying to fill in all the gaps. You're the only one who's avoiding talking to me about what I'm missing."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-25 11:56 pm UTC (link)
"There's a werewolf in the room next to mine. Remus Lupin." Merlin shot Draco a look and shook his head. "I'm not sure why my father thought it a good idea to hire the man who kidnapped us. I'm keeping a close eye on him so he won't hurt you."

Merlin's eyes moved to the basin across the room and he sighed, standing up. "Fine. I'll give you my memories. I've had them ready."

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 12:02 am UTC (link)
"Lupin is here?" Draco frowned, moving away from the wall automatically, when he heard there was a werewolf next door. "How did that happen? That's a terrible idea." Lupin didn't frighten Draco as much as someone like Greyback, but he definitely wasn't on the Dark Lord's side.

"I -- memories, yes," he said, glancing at the door that seemed to lead into the next room over. "Thank you. At least you're being sane about the wolves, even if your father isn't." Draco turned his full attention back to Merlin, standing beside the basin. "I can see them now?"

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 12:08 am UTC (link)
"I said it's nothing to worry about. I've got him here so I can keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't go near you." Merlin informed Draco, shaking his head. He reached out and touched his cheek. "I'd never let anything happen to you."

He glanced at the memories and sighed. "Which do you want?" He asked. "The ones where I reveal who I am or the ones that are only about you?"

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 12:13 am UTC (link)
Draco looked down at the memories too. He didn't know Merlin at all. "Both," he said, looking up at the other boy. "As nice as it is to fill in the gaps of memories I'm missing, I've had people show me those and still been confused about who they are."

As crazy as Merlin probably was, he did care about him, right? Draco touched his arm briefly. "Show me whatever you're comfortable with."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 12:28 am UTC (link)
Merlin shrugged. "You're the only person I trust, Draco." He told him quietly and let out a soft sigh. "You know everything about me. I've never hid anything from you. That's why I'm so aggravated that you can't remember anything. Because, I have to remember it all."

He poured the vials into the basin and waited for Draco to dunk his head into the water.

The first memory opened with Draco and Merlin sitting on a carpet in his room. He was playing with a charmed broom that spun around in circles. "My Dad made me train all day." The four year old boy with the dark hair and light eyes told the blond. "My head hurts and I got a nose bleed."

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 12:32 am UTC (link)
Draco looked away from watching the broom move around the room and frowned at Merlin, reaching out and touching his head. "I don't get it," he said. "I don't get what your dad thinks is so great about training. Mummy just lets me play."

He shifted closer and started to pet at Merlin's dark hair. "I'll help your head feel better," he promised. "Mummy pets my hair to make me feel better."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 12:36 am UTC (link)
It was a vulnerable moment for Merlin as he looked back at Draco. Giant tears filled the boys eyes and splashed down his cheeks. He reached up quickly and tried to hold them back as best as he could.

"Father says it's not okay to cry." He told him, but leaned into Draco's touch. "I can't cry. But, I need you. Promise to be mine always?"

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 12:42 am UTC (link)
Draco was startled by the crying. He nodded right away. If it would keep Merlin from crying on him, he'd agree to anything. "Of course," he said. "Nothing's ever going to come between us, Merlin. We're going to be together forever."

He reached up and wiped away some of the tears with chubby fingers. "You can cry around me," he promised, lowering his voice. "I'm not going to tell anyone. It's our secret."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 01:51 am UTC (link)
"What if my Dad finds out?" Merlin asked, giving Draco a sad and pathetic look. He shook his head and wiped at his own tears, sniffing a bit. "If he finds out I cried, he'll be even more strict with me."

He curled up against him and closed his eyes, just before the scene changed.

The two boys were a couple of years older and Pansy was over. Merlin gave her a dirty look and Pansy stuck out her tongue at him while Draco wasn't watching. He frowned and stood up. "Why does she have to be here?"

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 01:57 am UTC (link)
Draco glanced at Merlin and sighed. They always bickered with each other no matter what he did. "She's my friend," he said. He reached out and took Merlin's hand in his. "We're all supposed to be friends, you know. I want us to all get along."

He gave Merlin his best pout, the one that always got him what he wanted from his mother. "I just want us all to be able to play together. It's like practice for how popular we're going to be when we get to Hogwarts."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 02:32 am UTC (link)
Merlin gave him a pained look. "I get enough practice of things with my father. I don't need to be subjected to anything more." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed softly, then leaned in to kiss Draco. "I love you. I'm willing to do this for you."

The scene changed to show that Merlin really would do anything for Draco. The large, older Macnair man was looming over Draco, where they'd gotten lost in Diagon Alley. He pushed Draco out of the way and looked up at the man. "Take me instead."

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 02:36 am UTC (link)
Walden Sr. was drunk. All he'd seen was a small, pretty blond who was obviously out of his depth and he'd gone after him. He laughed, when the other boy pushed the blond out of the way, raising an eyebrow at him. "Are you a little fag?" he asked, grabbing Merlin's arm roughly. "You look like one, with those pretty blue eyes."

Draco didn't know what was going on, but he was shaking from how scared he was. He reached out and grabbed Merlin's hand. "We should go home," he said, and looked up at the older Macnair. "Just let us go home. We won't come here again."

Walden laughed. "No, little bird, your friend offered me a deal. You don't want to make him break his word, do you? You go along home. We're going to stay here and have some fun."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 02:48 am UTC (link)
"It's okay, Draco." Merlin's heart was racing, but he'd do anything for Draco. He'd protect him for the rest of his life. Because he loved him and nothing else mattered. He leaned in and kissed Draco's forehead, then then scene changed to where it was just Walden and him.

"What are you going to do to me?" He asked, his voice shaking slightly.

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 02:52 am UTC (link)
"Have some fun." Walden swayed for a moment, then shoved Merlin against the wall of the dark alley he'd dragged him down and began to undo his own trousers. He pulled out his cock, stroking it as he looked down at Merlin's much smaller form, and then raised his eyebrows at the boy. "Your little friend let you suck on him yet?" he asked. "Or do I get to fuck a virgin mouth? Come here, boy. Mind your teeth."

Walden grabbed Merlin by the hair and pulled him closer, shoving the head of his dick against the boy's lips and pressing. "Open up," he ordered. "I want to see you take it."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 03:16 am UTC (link)
Merlin felt like he was going to die. He looked at the man as he undid his trousers, feeling terrified and worried that he might be beat to death with it. It was huge and unlike anything he'd ever seen before. His wasn't that big.

He winced a bit when it hit his mouth, tears streaming down his cheeks as he opened, allowing the man to enter his throat. The scene was cut and choppy as he was beaten and fucked.

And then it changed to Draco having dragon pox and him being so worried about him that he cried beside the other boys bed. The scene changed once more and Merlin was sitting with his father. Tom pulled his wand and growled as he cast a spell and Merlin's body tensed and he screamed. The scene cut to him sitting with Narcissa, blood running from his ears and nose, Draco there too.

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 03:27 am UTC (link)
Draco was beside himself with anger and worry, trembling as he clutched at Merlin's hand and his mother worked to heal whatever was making him bleed like that. "Merlin never does anything wrong!" Draco insisted. "It's not fair, Mum. Nobody should have to go through this. You can't let Tom do this to him again. I don't care if he's his father."

Narcissa pressed a tissue to Merlin's nose to stem the bleeding, humming softly as she held him close to her chest and did her best to patch him up. She wasn't a healer. She really only had practice with things like scraped elbows and knees. "You're not going to say anything to Tom," she told Draco, running her fingers through Merlin's hair and then wiping the blood away from his ears and neck. "You're going to focus on taking care of Merlin and making sure he rests. Don't let him do anything strenuous. Keep your voice soft."

Draco looked at his mother for a moment, then nodded and moved closer to Merlin, hugging him tightly and letting his mother hold them both. "I'm sorry, Merlin," he whispered.

Narcissa kissed Draco's hair and then pressed her lips to Merlin's forehead. "I prescribe milkshakes and chocolate and cake and love for the next few days," she said. "I'm flooing Pansy's parents and telling them she can't come over tomorrow. I want you rested. Draco will read to you and I'll pamper you both."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 03:34 am UTC (link)
The scene ended with Merlin giving Narcissa a look of gratitude. And then the scene shifted and Draco and Merlin were twelve years old. They were laying in Merlin's bed together at Hogwarts and they were pressed close.

"You're the only person I've ever been able to love." Merlin told Draco quietly and then he pressed their lips together, arm wrapping around the other boy's waist.

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 03:39 am UTC (link)
Draco hesitated when he was kissed, kissing Merlin back for a moment and then pulling away. "Yeah," he agreed. "You know I love you too, Merlin, just... I don't know. Don't you ever want to talk to other people?"

He reached up and touched Merlin's cheek. "We only ever really spend time with each other and Pansy. Maybe you'd like other people if you got to know them. You know?"

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 03:45 am UTC (link)
Merlin frowned at that and shook his head. "I talk to other people. I talk to Thoreau. And... Your mom." He informed him, then pet at Draco's hair.

"You're just... You're who I love." Merlin promised. "You're my one and only."

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 03:51 am UTC (link)
"I know," Draco told Merlin. "I know that. And you know we're going to get married when we're older, but... I don't know. Don't you sometimes just think about what other people are doing?"

He looked at Merlin for a moment and then sighed. "It doesn't matter. I know you don't see it the same way I do, but I thought I'd try. Blaise asked if I wanted to be his partner for the charms project, and I know he's not... I mean, he's only passable because of his father, but I've never not been partnered with you or Pansy and he's pretty good at charms."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 03:57 am UTC (link)
Merlin pulled back at that and frowned. "You're... You want to partner with Blaise?" He asked and shook his head. "What is wrong with you? He's disgusting and not worthy of your time."

He got out of bed and shook his head. "Partner with whomever you want. I'll just worth with Thoreau."

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 04:00 am UTC (link)
"I'm not doing it to hurt your feelings," Draco told Merlin. "I just think it would be nice to have more friends. Lots of people want to have more friends. That's normal, Merlin."

He looked down at his hands for a moment, frowning, then got off the bed too. "Good," he said. "Fine. We have a deal, then. You'll partner with Thoreau and I'll partner with Blaise. We'll both get to work with someone else."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 09:53 pm UTC (link)
The scene changed. Merlin was sitting on his bed with Thoreau, who was pressed close to his side, kissing his neck. His eyes were closed for a moment, but when he opened them, it was clear he wasn't truly enjoying himself.

And then the scene changed and Merlin was on his knees in front of his own father as he was hit with curse after curse, doing his best to fight them off. But, the scene faded and Merlin was lying on the floor of his room when Draco came into the room.

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 10:00 pm UTC (link)
Draco froze for a moment when he saw Merlin on the floor, and then he was dropping to his knees beside the other boy, touching his hair. "Merlin? Are you all right? What happened?" He leaned down and pressed his lips to Merlin's forehead, the way his mother always had when Merlin was hurt like this.

"Let me help you get onto the bed," Draco said, putting his bag on the floor and wrapping his arms around Merlin. "You shouldn't be on the floor. I wish you could stay in the dorms with me."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-26 10:21 pm UTC (link)
Merlin looked up at Draco when he began to worry over him, but he was coughing up blood onto the other boy before he had time to speak. He gave him an apologetic look as he helped the other boy lead him to the bed.

"Practice." He managed to say, then fell onto the bed heavily. He touched his forehead and closed his eyes. "It's going to get even harder. I can't throw off Crutiatus or Imperius."

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-26 10:38 pm UTC (link)
"Fuck practice," Draco said, frowning as he pulled off Merlin's shoes and then pulled the covers over him. He took off his own shoes and cloak before he crawled into the bed with Merlin. "I hate how hard Tom makes you work. You're already brilliant and powerful. You don't need to be hurt like this."

He wrapped his arms around Merlin, holding him close and petting at his hair. "I wish my mum was here. She'd know how to take care of you," Draco said, voice soft. "Maybe we can practice Imperius together. So next time you can throw it off. I couldn't use Crutiatus on you."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-27 01:59 am UTC (link)
Looking back at Draco, Merlin shook his head. "I don't want you getting hurt. I don't want to practice on you." He leaned in and kissed Draco softly, touching his cheek. He coughed again and shook his head.

The scene went black. Merlin was standing outside when the few of Charlie and Draco came to light. Draco pressed against the side of the cabin while the man ravaged him. And tears streamed down Merlin's face as he watched. And then the scene ended and Merlin was pulling Draco from the basin. "That's about it."

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-27 02:34 am UTC (link)
Draco stared at Merlin. He felt... He wasn't sure how he felt. Shaken. Worried. He'd thought his life was bad, in the other timeline, but Merlin had had it so much worse. And he knew about Charlie Weasley but had somehow kept it to himself.

Draco sat on Merlin's bed, running a hand through his hair. "I..." He looked up at the other boy, uncertain. "I keep thinking I know the truth and then someone shows me something else and everything gets more complicated."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-27 03:54 am UTC (link)
"My life has never been anything else but complicated." Merlin told him with a soft sigh. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked back at Draco, feeling sick to his stomach. He didn't want him to see all of that.

But, he'd had no choice. Right? He shrugged. "So now you can remember it all."

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-27 04:05 am UTC (link)
"There's complicated and then there's... that." Draco had to hold himself partially responsible for this, right? Merlin hadn't been around before he'd changed things. He looked down at his hands. "Everything is always so complicated. Nothing is easy. I tricked myself into thinking it would be, for a while."

He looked up at Merlin again. "Did you ever... talk to me? About Weasley? I've forgotten about him too and it's... I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about anything. Part of me wishes I could just go back in time and stop myself from making the mistake that made all this happen."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-27 05:01 am UTC (link)
"No. I never said anything because I love you and want you to be happy." Merlin told him quietly, feeling himself start to tear up. He forced the tears down. "I know that you and I will be married, but it kills me that you won't love me back the way I want."

Merlin frowned at what Draco said. "What do you mean?" He asked, shaking his head. "What mistake?"

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-27 05:21 am UTC (link)
Draco looked up at Merlin, but of all the people whose memories he'd seen so far, Merlin seemed like he deserved it most. "I didn't lose my memories," he said. "Not really. I -- there was a whole other universe. Your father was defeated once there, by a boy called Harry Potter, when Potter was a baby. You weren't born. I never -- Thoreau, Pyxis, and Rider weren't around either. Blaise was a Zabini. The Rosiers were dead. My father -- I think he's the one who's most different here. He was... I still don't see him much here, but it was completely different. Nothing I did was ever good enough for him. Mother was very similar. Less happy, I think. Everyone was less happy."

He shook his head. "Father got sent to Azkaban at the end of fifth year. For being a Death Eater. Then the Dark Lord started... He threatened mother and me and Aunt Bellatrix was there and crazy. The Dark Lord gave me a mission. Kill Dumbledore and let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts or he'd kill Mother, leave my father in Azkaban to rot, and give me to Greyback before he killed me. Just... fuck." Draco clenched his hands into fists in his lap. "I was trying. I was trying to fix this cabinet. I'd been trying for months, and then I thought it worked. It was supposed to transport people from once place to another, through a twin, but it sent me back in time instead. I... met your father. I told him some things about the future. When I got back, everything was... this." He looked up at Merlin. "I know it's hard to believe."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-27 05:31 am UTC (link)
It was a lot of information to take in, but Merlin understood it. And it made a lot of sense. He frowned to himself for a moment, then looked at Draco, taking his hand into his own. He pet at it, then kissed Draco's forehead.

"So, you're not my Draco." Merlin told him quietly and let out a soft sigh. "Of course my father would do this. He only cared about his own sick, selfish ambitions. I wouldn't be alive and I wouln't have to.." He shook his head and felt himself start to cry.

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-27 05:37 am UTC (link)
Draco was not used to people crying on him. He'd gotten used to crying to ghosts in washrooms alone, but he knew that when he'd had to do that he'd always wanted someone real there. He wrapped his arms around Merlin, pulling him closer.

"I'm not the same Draco," he agreed, voice soft. "I'm someone who's been given missions by your father before. Been tortured by him. Been at the whim of his silk, selfish ambitions. He says my memories are going to come back, but for now I understand. You can tell me what he says you have to do."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-27 08:10 pm UTC (link)
Merlin looked back at Draco for a moment, letting out a soft sigh. He kissed his forehead gently, brushing the tears out of his eyes and did his best to calm himself down. This wasn't his Draco.

"Will you give me a chance?" Merlin asked him quietly, keeping his eyes firmly on Draco's. "Can I take you to dinner?"

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-27 08:17 pm UTC (link)
Draco hesitated for a moment. He wasn't used to this. To feeling sorry for people and wanting to do them favours. But he nodded in agreement. "All right," he agreed. "We can go to dinner. Maybe this weekend? Or... whenever you'd like to go."

He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry," he said, although it wasn't quite true. This world was so much better than the one he'd left behind. "That I'm here and he's not."

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[info]merlinsbeard
2012-10-27 08:31 pm UTC (link)
Merlin shook his head and rested back against his pillows. "I don't think that you should feel bad about it. Our world sounds much better than the place you're from." He told him quietly, feeling very down about everything.

"Tomorrow night." Merlin told him quietly. "We can go out for dinner and do whatever else you want to do."

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[info]lordlyheir
2012-10-27 08:41 pm UTC (link)
Draco looked at Merlin for a moment and then nodded. "Tomorrow," he agreed. "Look, I -- maybe I'm not sorry that I'm here. It is a lot better than where I'm from. But I'm sorry the other me isn't around for you right now."

He stood up. "I should probably go before there are too many werewolves roaming the halls, right?" Merlin was naked anyway, and that was a little awkward. "I'll see you tomorrow for our date."

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