Tatum had decided immediately after the incident at homecoming that distancing herself from Mackenzie was the only option. Not only had the entire shaken her up in general, but it had sort of shaken her to her core, really put her on the spot. Plus there was the matter of how Mack had acted toward Sam, and even sort of snapped at Rath. She was sure that it was never going to end, but then Sera and Hunter had got her out, and after that she immediately made her decision. It was too much, she was getting too close all over again.

It was her fault, really, for leading the blonde on. Which was regrettably exactly what she was doing, whether it was intentional or not. Mackenzie Dubinsky didn't fall for girls, didn't shout out embarrassing things to them in crowds of people. Mack had been Sera's friend for years, and until the blonde set eyes on her, Tatum was pretty sure the older girl had never acted this why before. She was just fucking everything up, possibly Mack's whole life not to mention her own. Her inner coward never had to fight too hard to gain control, and so avoiding the blonde had been the best answer. Avoiding her, and ignoring that the scene at homecoming ever even happened.

But it had been forever now, over two weeks, since they had spoken to each other. She had, however, spoken to Rath plenty. His advice was still fresh in her mind as she read over Mack's question, feeling her stomach plummet and trying to fight against the urge to get sick. She always got so nervous. She had typed the most dismissive response she could, and then had taken to waiting, sitting in her desk chair with her legs pulled up to her chest.

It soon occurred to her though, that she was still wearing her clothes from class. She felt suddenly silly, and even sillier as she jumped out of her chair and began rummaging through her dress drawers. Was she actually changing because Mack was coming over? What was the difference? She should have just said no, avoided the whole ordeal, cut the older girl out of her life and make them both feel saner.

But she didn't, and now she was hastily kicking her legs out of her sweatpants, hauling on a pair of clean jeans and a new tee. She examined herself in the mirror, swallowing thickly as she eyed her reflection. She looked like shit, but she had looked and felt like shit a lot this year. It was a tense one, a lot less relaxed than she had wanted her freshman year to be. So why did she feel better knowing Mack was coming, even if it would probably only complicate things further?

The older girl had a knack for knocking down her walls, and Rath's encouraging words still echoing around her brain weren't going to help her resist. What if he was right? There was no making life better without taking chances, maybe things would even work out in the end. Sera had been out for a long time, and their dad didn't know yet. It was incredibly dishonest, but she hadn't been killed or anything for the time being.

She immediately wanted to stop thinking about her father as soon as he was on her mind, and she turned away from the mirror, grabbing a hat from the where it was discarded on the end of her bed. She was pulling it on, pulling her ponytail through the back, when she heard Mackenzie outside the door. Her pulsed seemed to quicken, then stop, before returning to a normal rhythm.

Clearing her own throat, she anxiously ran her hands over her shirt as if to calm non-existent wrinkles, before moving over and pulling the door open carefully. She saw the blonde on the other side, and felt her pulse skip again, making her clear her throat awkwardly and step aside to let Mack inside. She didn't really know what to say, and her mouth felt dry, so she didn't say anything at all.

When the door was shut, she went straight to her desk instead, plopping into her chair and busying herself with hunching over it and starting to roll a joint. It was the only idea she had. Shaking a cigarette out of her pack to get a bit of tobacco from, she added just a few pinches to her pile of weed before turning, looking rather on edge as she offered the remaining three quarters of the cigarette to Mack.

(Reply) (Thread)

Mackenzie offered the younger girl a small half smile as she walked into the room. She couldn't meet her gaze though, keeping her eyes trained on the floor as she brushed lightly past the redhead. The blonde hadn't missed how her heart seemed to speed up at being so close to the other girl. It took all the self control that Mackenzie had not to pull the girl into a hug. The redheads silence scared her though, she couldn't read it.

Only once Tatum had closed the door and went to sit at the desk did Mack make a move away from the door. She walked wordlessly over to the redheads bed, sitting nervously on the edge of it. She had no idea what to say, she felt like sorry wouldn't ever be enough. How could she tell Tatum she was sorry when she could barely remember what happened? She chewed anxiously at her lip, her brows furrowed. There was an unusual tightness in her chest, it hurt and made her feel uncomfortable. She could see her vision getting blurry, and realized that this must be what it felt like to break down. 

Swallowing thickly, she looked up at Tatum as she was offered the cigarette. The small redhead looked as though she was waiting for the blonde to snap at her. Mackenzie bit her lip as she felt a small tear escape from her eyes. She had been trying so hard to keep it together, but the on edge look that the girl was giving her was breaking her heart. 

"I-I'm not gonna bite Tatum," she said quietly, accepting the cigarette and lighting it with a flick of her wand. "G-god Tatum, I'm so, so, sorry!" 

She scrubbed furiously at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt before looking towards the window. She didn't want to see that Tatum was seeing her weakness. Taking a drag from the cigarette, she took a moment to try and compose herself. Her eyes were still dangerously watery, and she could feel her walls beginning to crumble. 

"I was just upset, and hurt. I know it's not a good reason, but it's the only one I got." She ran a shaking hand through her hair, and took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't remember what I said, but I didn't mean any of it T. I promise, I...I care so much about you." 

The tears started falling now, and there was nothing the blonde could do to stop them. It was a long time coming, she supposed, one can only bottle up their pain and despair for so long. "I would never hurt you intentionally, honest! I was just angry, and hurt, and drunk. It was stupid, but it's not who I am Tatum."

Taking a deep breath, she wiped at her eyes again. "The only true part of me that night was the part that told you I loved you." It was out in the open now, she had admitted it soberly to the redhead. She only hoped that Tatum wouldn't crush her. 

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Mackenzie's breaking down made the redhead feel equally awkward, and she stared even harder down at the joint as she worked on it. Her hands were shaking a bit, and they only got worse when Mack actually began to speak, apologizing to her in that incredibly sad tone of voice. She didn't look up, couldn't, just nodding her head numbly in agreement as the blonde girl stared out of her window. She didn't know where to begin, honestly.

Mack was bearing her soul to her more or less, putting her neck out on the line. Tatum had no idea where to even begin to tell her it was all right. It had been harsh and scary, hurt a lot, but she was rather resilient. It was a bit better now that they were face to face, or rather at least in the same room.

She had been putting up with people getting in her face and messing with her for years, her skin was surprisingly thick even if she was legendary when it came to being weepy.

Her fingers tightened on the joint, accidentally crushing the end when she heard Mack say she loved her, had meant only that part. Her heart skipped a beat, and she couldn't deny it. She tried to think of Sam, of other things, of anything but the blonde crying on the end of her bed. But she couldn't. Beginning to uncrinkle the end, the redhead put the filter into the joint.

If Mack was going to put herself on the line, it terrified Tatum to admit it but she needed to do the same. She had been dragging the older girl along too long, never explaining herself, going from hot to cold in a second. Rath was probably right, her signals weren't exactly clear. But it was always mostly because what she wanted was rarely even clear to Tatum herself.

"Whenever me and F-Frankie used to fight, a joint a-always, uhm.. h-helped," she finally said, breaking her own silence. She still stared at the finished joint, swallowing thickly and wiping her hands on the legs of her jeans. They were sweaty and had weed crumbs stuck to the palms. "I loved her, j-just so you know. I know people say s-shit but I loved her, t-that's who I was supposed to b-be with.. like f-forever and I fucked her up like I-I'm fucking you up.."

She trailed off quickly. She hadn't really spoken out loud to anyone about Frankie since she had died. Except for Jules. She had alluded to things to Mack in the past, but telling the true story was harder. It made her palms sweat more, and she held the joint between her lips before wiping them on her jeans again. "Y-You don't want this.. this c-come here now g-go away routine. That's all I d-do and you'll lose it e-eventually. No one can l-love that."

Swishing her own wand, she cleared some smoke from the air before lighting up and staring blankly toward her turned off television.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Mackenzie listened quietly as Tatum talked, relieved that the girl hadn't flat out thrown her out of the room yet. She didn't deserve as much forgiveness as the small girl was supposedly giving her. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why she had fallen so hard for the girl before she had even realized it. Mackenzie was a messed up kid, she had more anger issues than she could count on one hand, not to mention her issues with her parents. Her general trust of people was all shot to hell, and the only person she really trusted in her life was Hunter, who was just as messed up as she was in the head. Acting like an asshole was easier than really showing anyone her true self, at least then they couldn't call her anything else but an ass. She knew that she had acted poorly towards the younger girl in the past, always trying to make up for it of course, but she had let her impulsive tendencies get the better of her no matter how hard she tried. Every time, the girl let her come back, even if she was rude back to Mackenzie, the girl never left her. She always gave the blonde a good natured eye roll in the end and muttered a fond but gruff comment on how the taller girl was an asshole. Tatum was one of the few people in her life that hadn't left, even if she sometimes resisted the blonde's invasion of her space.

The same was true now, Tatum had every right to refuse to talk to the blonde, to yell at her and probably even hit her again. Instead, the girl was opening up to her even more and, while she kept suggesting that Mack would be happier to just forget about her, never actually told her that it was one hundred percent over. The blonde figured that she might just be wanting to hear what she wanted out of the younger girl's words, but she was pretty sure that wasn't the case. She knew that the other girl must feel something for her, there was no other way that any of this could have worked.

Especially since Tatum had just told her about Frankie, and Mackenzie had to think for a moment to figure out who the redhead must be referring to. It was all falling slowly into place now for the blonde, Frankie must have been the best friend, the one who killed herself. The redhead's actions suddenly made a lot more sense now, and Mack felt guilty all over again for the way she had acted. It hadn't just been the girl's father, although she was sure that was still a factor. It probably only enforced the idea that being gay, loving who you loved, was a bad idea. Mackenzie felt more tears welling up in her eyes, and took a moment to wipe them away again before speaking.

"T, I was already fucked up to being with," she said quietly, peering at the younger girl timidly. She wanted to reach out and pull the girl to her, to hold her and tell her it would be okay. She didn't though, not yet, she couldn't will her arms to move, so she just kept them in her lap, wringing her hands nervously. She was about to let out her biggest insecurity to the other girl, something she had never told anyone, not even Hunter. She knew that Hunter knew what it was, because they always danced around it, but they had never vocally said it. "You...you didn't do anything to make me act this way. I've got a lot of...anger and stuff...I'm too thick headed and stubborn to react rationally to anything. I-I'm just scared as hell to love you, okay? I-it scares the hell out of me."

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

She trailed off, biting her lower lip and rubbing at her neck, she was trying to stop herself from retreating. She didn't know why she felt like she had to let the other girl know this, but something inside of her just felt like it was the right thing to do. "I'm scared because you might leave me, like anyone else I let myself love in the past. That's why I don't get into relationships with anyone. It's why I sleep around and act like an asshole, it's all to keep people away! So...You can claim that you're going to mess me up, that I'm going to lose it eventually, but I don't think any of that is true."

Mackenzie looked up at Tatum, trying not to run even though that's what every bone in her body was telling her to do. She was gripping the bed so hard that her knuckles were turning white. "Because even though you tell me to go away, you always tell me to come back too. You never leave, not really anyway. Even if you do tell me to piss off, you don't ever mean it fully. I stand by what I said before homecoming Tatum, I'll only leave it alone once you tell me to and mean it."

Breaking her staring match, she looked down at the floor again, fiddling nervously with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. It hurt to be this honest with the younger girl, especially since she had never really been honest with herself about anything she had just said. "I'm sorry about Frankie," She added quietly, not looking up. "I know what it's like to lose someone you love."

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Tatum shocked even herself with the bitter laugh that escaped her, as she quickly stood up from her desk chair and paced her way over to her window. She hauled it open, sitting on the sill and pulling her legs up comfortably. How many joints had she and Frankie used to sneak, hanging out of her window in the Shawnee dorms? It felt like forever ago. It scared her how long ago it seemed, but how fresh the hurt actually was. "Y-You think I'm not scared?" she muttered, shaking her head.

"I-I'm terrified. Like, w-worse than normal and I'm a-always kind of terrified.. I'm s-so fucking scared," the redhead went on, when Mack had trailed off. She soon trailed off herself, just staring out of the open window and down toward the grounds. She lit the joint between her lips finally, puffing it quickly to catch the flame and then tossing the lighter back over onto her desk. "R-Relationships are scary, that's h-how it works.. especially w-when you can't have the ones you w-want, right?" she murmured, turning her head again, choosing to look outside instead. It was easier.

She listened to what the blonde said about her, and felt her cheeks flushing despite herself, her head ducking a bit as she smoked. Absently, she flicked the ash onto the edge of the window sill, chewing her lip madly as Mack kept talking, kept making her feel more embarrassed, more scared, and yet still full of more butterflies. "Of c-course I don't mean it," she managed to get out finally, her lips feeling oddly numb. "I'm not a complete p-piece of shit.. y-you're not.. mean to me, you j-just.. you make me feel t-things I shouldn't, and I g-get confused and I-- like, I h-have a boyfriend, and I k-know you think it's stupid but I can't just.. h-he really likes me. And y-you were very rude to h-him."

She swallowed thickly, flicking ash again and then beginning to smoke once more, glad to occupy her lips with something other than talking. She was talking herself into a hole. "Thanks," she murmured back, finally letting herself turn to look fully back at Mackenzie again, watching her with her head lowered. She frowned, exhaling a shaky sigh. "She was kind of a b-bitch, but she was.. y'know, special. T-To me."

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

"Right," Mackenzie mumbled, nodding slowly. "It doesn't have to be though, you know?" She hadn't meant to let the last part slip out, it had been an after thought really. Mackenzie could feel her adrenaline spike as she tried desperately to figure out what to say next. "We could be happy together, you could be happy." 

Her heart was pounding as she stood, trying not to let her hands shake. She took a step closer to the redhead, still fighting the urge to reach out and pull her close. "I know I was rude to Sam, and I'm sorry. It wasn't fair to him, but you don't understand Tatum. Watching you be with him, i-it tears me up inside. You can't even tell me that you want to stay with him! It's about not hurting him, but you never, ever, say anything about your feelings!" 

Mackenzie scrubbed at her face again, she felt exhausted. She was ready to give up, her emotional rage was being stretched farther than she felt possible. It was embarrassing to argue her feelings at this point, to feel this desperate. She had nothing left to lose now though, not with Tatum anyway. "It should have been me dancing with you," she mumbled weakly. "You say Frankie was special to you, maybe that's what I want." She paused for a beat, and took another step forward. She was definitely invading the other girls personal bubble now. Acting before her brain could really catch up with her, she  knelt down on one knee and took the girls free hand gently.

"It's all I want T," she whispered, looking up at the redhead. "I want to mean something to you so badly. I know you feel the same way. You...you remember when I kissed you at the party? You said you didn't feel anything. Then you kissed me in the orchard." Mack wasn't even sure where this was going anymore. "Please T, please tell me you felt something too. Be with me, not Sam." She reached out a shaking hand and cupped the other girl's face. 

"Kiss me?" She whispered, her voice unsure. It wasn't something she should be asking for. It wasn't something Tatum should give her, especially after homecoming. She asked anyway though, because there was really nothing else for her to do. 

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

She stared out of the window, wishing her hands weren't shaking so bad, and she tried not to bristle when Mackenzie invaded her personal space. She flinched as the blonde got down on one knee, and her eyes went a bit wide. "N-No," she protested automatically, not even wanting to know what the older girl was going to say to her, but letting her hand be taken anyway. Slowly turning her head, she looked at the blonde seriously, her teeth pulling at her lower lip as she did.

"I r-remember," she murmured, a little sadly. "Of course I remember it, it's a-all I can f-fucking think about and I h-hate it," she admitted, wincing as soon as it was out in the open. What sense was there in running around the subject anymore though? Mack thought she was as straight as she thought snow was hot. There was just no way, she knew how things really were.

Tatum had tried to keep her out, knowing she'd slip up and something like this would happen, but she had let it happen anyway. There was nothing that she could really do to take it back. Somewhere along the way, the tall girl had gone from Sera's annoying friend, to a reluctant crush, and now to.. whatever they were becoming. Their own awkward jumble of something. The redhead didn't know what to call them, but whatever was between them just kept growing and they couldn't dance around it any longer.

"I don't know," she answered honestly, teeth chewing her lip harder. Dropping Sam, just making a big change like that, wouldn't be easy. She didn't know if she could give the blonde that, but she could give her what she could. Leaning her cheek a bit into Mackenzie's hand, the redhead gave another sad smile. Leaning in the short couple of inches between them, Tatum closed her eyes tightly and met the blonde in a light kiss.

It was wrong, definitely beyond wrong since she had a boyfriend to consider, but there was no denying the flutter of butterflies that was immediately ignited in her stomach.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

The second that Mack felt the girl's soft lips touch her own, she could feel the blood pulsing in her ears. She had been expecting Tatum to make another excuse, to tell her that she couldn't. Yet, here they were once again, going farther and farther past the line that was drawn so clearly in the sand. She hadn't realized she had been holding her breath, and let it out in a soft sigh. She needed to be closer to the smaller girl, her body was screaming for the proximity. Adding more pressure as she kissed Tatum, she stood up and slid smoothly onto the girl's lap.

Mackenzie made sure to keep enough distance between their bodies so as not to make the smaller girl feel pressure. She ran her hands through the smaller girl's hair and pulled her in closer, feeling her body relaxing in the warmth from the other girl. This felt right, everything about it seemed to fit. Mackenzie had never felt this confident about anything in her life. She knew in the back of her mind that it was wrong, that she shouldn't keep swaying Tatum's decision. She couldn't help herself though, she couldn't stop herself from coming back to the redhead time and time again.

Breaking apart from the other girl briefly, she rubbed her thumb gently across her cheek, looking into her eyes softly. "Just tell me when to stop, okay?" She said quietly, hoping to god that Tatum wouldn't tell her it was too much already. She was getting addicted to Tatum's lips, to the way that the other girl tasted. "I won't get upset, I just want you to be comfortable. You're in control T."

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Tatum was almost positive that her heart was going to stop when Mackenzie made her way into her lap. Everything in her was screaming for her to push the blonde away, for more than one reason, but she just couldn't put herself behind the revulsion. She wasn't mad, upset, or even scared. In fact, she actually felt amazing. More alive and alert than she had in months, years, or maybe ever. Every day was like a drudge of dragging herself through the same things, but the blonde's touch was electric. Even if she knew it was wrong, she needed it for at least a few more moments.

"W-We shouldn't," she managed to whisper out hoarsely between a momentary break in their kiss, though she was leaning right back in almost as soon as the words left her lips. There was guilt building and swirling in the pit of her stomach, what her father would say, or worse yet Sam. Hurting him would be worse than anything, but it just kept getting harder to go on. Especially when she and Mack kept finding themselves in positions like this, literally and figuratively.

Tilting her head weakly into the thumb grazing her cheek, she tried to keep her lips from trembling as she looked back at the blonde. Hearing she was in control helped, but not much. It was reassuring, but it also meant that there was no chance in denying it. If she did this, she wouldn't be coerced or convinced. This was it, and Mack was putting it right in front of her in plain English. Her choice, her control.

Exhaling shakily, the red-haired girl turned her head a bit, teeth pulling her bottom lip as she did so. "I.. I've n-never been so c-comfortable before," she admitted, just a little sadly.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Mackenzie debated momentarily if she should extract herself from the smaller girl's lap, Tatum's fall back argument reaching her ears. She decided to stay a bit longer though, especially as the girl leaned back in almost instantly afterwards. If the girl really wanted this to stop, she would probably push Mackenzie off of her, or something verbally along those lines. It had happened enough time's before. She watched as Tatum processed the situation, her heart melting as the red head looked back at her.

When Tatum finally spoke, she felt her stomach fluttering. Tatum was comfortable with her, she provided comfort to the little red head. Mackenzie had never felt protective of anyone beyond Hunter and Michi, and that was a different feeling than the one she was getting now. She felt useful, like she was good for something. Smiling shyly back at Tatum, she pulled the girl back to her and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

"I'm glad you feel comfortable T," she whispered against the other girl's lips. Both hands running through the smaller girl's hair. "I-I want you to feel comfortable around me, because you...you make me feel safe. I...It's not something I'm used to, but when we aren't fighting against each other, it feels pretty damn good."

She rested her forehead against Tatum's, a small grin making it's way past the shy smile. "Plus, I think I'm getting a little bit addicted to your kisses. It might be the death of me."

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Tatum wasn't sure if she really was, but she felt sort of like she was trembling all over. Between sensory overload and all of the emotions, guilt and arousal winning the race neck to neck, it was hard to even focus on the words coming out of the blonde's mouth. When Mack said she made her feel safe, the redhead looked at her rather sheepishly and just a bit skeptically. "W-What? Me?" she whispered back, pulling away from the older girl's lips just a little.

"I-I'm just a wimp, I couldn't-- I c-can't keep anybody safe, you're like the.. b-big dumb hero or whatever," she muttered, eyes closing as their foreheads rested together. She couldn't help but smile despite herself at the blonde's admission. "Don't make me r-roll up a coconut joint. I have the p-power," she joked. It was wrong but it just felt right, to be sitting with her, joking with her.

Knowing she should have pulled away, she just leaned in for another kiss.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

"Yeah, but don't tell Hunt I said so, okay?" Mackenzie said, blushing slightly. "Just 'cause I'm the big dumb hero doesn't mean I don't need...savin' sometimes." The last part came out as barely a whisper, and she wondered if Tatum had even heard it. She wasn't the kind of person to admit that she needed help, ever. It had just slipped out, which seemed to be turning into a nasty habit around the redhead. She couldn't sensor her feelings around the other girl. It was why Mackenzie had claimed that she had felt safe around her, because for whatever reason, she could just blurt out her feelings like that.

She couldn't help but chuckle as Tatum threatened to roll a coconut flavored joint, and crinkled her nose in protest. "You're evil, you know I don't like coconut," she muttered before kissing Tatum. She could feel an unusual warmth spreading throughout her body, like the feeling she usually got from flying particularly well during a match. It was something she had never felt before, and as terrified as she was to lose it, she wanted more of it.

"Something tells me you don't exactly mind my kisses either T," she mumbled, smirking as she brought their lips back together. Scooting closer to the girl, she deepened the kiss, threading her hand through the waves of red hair.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

"I won't t-tell anybody," Tatum blurted back, blushing a bit herself as she ducked her head. When Mack accused her of treachery, she had to crack a little smile. "Of course I know," she whispered, chewing her lip just slightly before the blonde was kissing her again, sending the shivers down through her body, right to her fingertips.

Reaching up, she grasped the front of the older girl's shirt, pulling her closer. She only gave a little whimper of protest when Mack broke away to speak, making her blush harder and lean back in to kiss her again. She knew she had to stop, but just wasn't happening easily. She didn't want to stop, and that was the worst part.

Feeling the hands pulling at her hair slightly, the redhead gave another little whimper, pulling the blonde even closer. She pulled away from her lips for a moment, kissing down her jawline and neck shakily.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

When Tatum admitted that of course she knew one of her dislikes, Mack could feel her heart skip a beat. The familiarity of it caused her heart to almost burst in happiness, Tatum knew little things about her, things that she couldn't figure out from just casually knowing her. Mackenzie would have come up with a probing response, but then Tatum's hands were grabbing the front of her shit and she was completely lost in kissing the other girl.

Tipping her head back to give the other girl better access to her neck, she hummed happily. She felt a small shiver make it's way down her spine, and couldn't help but shudder as she felt the girl's lips on her neck. She ran her hands down the smaller girl's back, gripping at her shirt. She wanted so badly to feel the girl's bare back under her palms, but she didn't want to move this too quickly. Tatum was in control, and she knew that if she pushed the girl too far, she'd pull back into her shell.

She did, however, play with the bottom of Tatum's shirt, letting her fingers brush the little sliver of skin that was accessible. Mack might have let Tatum have control of the situation, but no one had ever said suggestion wasn't allowed.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Tatum knew she couldn't drag their contact out forever, that soon enough it would need to stop, for more reason than one. But that certainly didn't make the task any easier. Every time that she felt she was ready to pull back and tell Mack that they couldn't go on, the blonde would do something seemingly small and insignificant and send shivers down her whole spine. She seemed to be tingling right down to her toes as the older girl's fingers played over the small of her back as it poked out from under her shirts.

"W-Wait," she gasped out finally, breaking away from their kiss, and looking at the blonde seriously with half-lidded eyes. She felt breathless, like they had been kissing for hours rather than minutes. "We should-- we c-can't right.. r-right now, but I need to.. I-I just need to, but not r-right now? Just let me-- p-promise, I'm going to fix everything but I still.. h-have a boyfriend. Right n-now. So we c-can't but I just.."

Trailing off, the redhead bit her lower lip fiercely. "I j-just really want to. I never-- is t-that like, real making out?" she half-whispered, wanting to either laugh or cry. No boy had ever given her that fluttering tingling amazed feeling that the tall blonde was still giving her just by perching in her lap.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

It took a lot of effort to suppress the small grunt of protest that Mack desperately wanted to make when Tatum pulled away from her lips. It had been so nice, and for once, the whole innocence of the situation hadn't bothered Mack in the slightest. She actually had kind of enjoyed how slow things were rolling, and the way that the smaller girl was looking at her wasn't doing any good to convince her to take the moral high road. It was the girl's jumbled word vomit that snapped Mack out of a particularly good fantasy about where things could go, and she stared at Tatum as if she was just seeing her for the first time.

She watched with new found interest as the girl bit her lower lip, and couldn't stop her jaw from dropping with surprise as she barely caught the girl's half whispered question. She wasn't sure what she was more shocked at, that Tatum bluntly admitted that she really did want to continue making out with the blonde, or the fact that the smaller girl had asked her if that was real making out.

"I...uh..." she stuttered, deciding whether she should laugh or just explode from the amount of love she felt for the redhead. "Well, yeah, what else would it be?" She said finally, after looking like a goldfish for several moments. "You...er...like, never made out with anyone before?"

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Tatum felt her cheeks blush furiously, as she ducked her head a little and gave it a quick shake. "N-No! I mean, I have like.. l-like actually w-way more than I e-ever wanted to," she admitted, laughing weakly. "I'm b-bad at saying 'no', if you h-hadn't.. noticed that by now," the redhead added with a little smile. It was true, and it was why she had ended up with half of the boyfriends she had ever had. Boys always ended up wanting to be more than friends, and as awkward as it was, she usually went along with it. Her dad was always happy with her.

"It just.. n-never felt like that before," Tatum quickly added, clearing her throat softly. "You know, like.. when I k-kiss you and when I kiss a boy, it's like.. apples and o-oranges, or whatever the s-saying is. Except it's w-worse than that, it's like.. apples and porkchops. Not even remotely the s-same. Kissing boys and then.. k-kissing you," she paused, swallowing thickly and chewing her lip. "No c-comparison. That's why it's s-so hard to.. n-not. Do t-this."

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Mackenzie just listened to the girl she was sitting on ramble with a small smile on her face. While the small part of her that was still five years old wanted to tell Tatum that she told her so, for once, the mature side of her won. She just smiled and gave the girl a small peck on the lips to stop her from continuing on once she had came to a pause.

"So...You like porkchops better than apples, and I'm a porkchop?" She asked with a small chuckle, biting her lip as she tried not to burst out laughing. It was probably the cutest thing Mackenzie had ever heard, and she just wanted kiss the girl until she was blue in the face. "You're too cute babe," she blurted out before she could stop herself.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)