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Uzumaki Naruto ([info]impellere) wrote,
@ 2009-09-09 22:47:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: busy
Entry tags:background information, bandwagon, essay meme, ooc, there is a point to this rly

BANDWAGON? ALLLLL ABOARD!!
Oh how I hate these things. But I got to second Cella. Answering the bloody questions gets a lot going and helps people figure out their characters. I'd like to at least try and figure out why Naruto does his Naruto thing and answering your requests would do just that.

That, and she had something right. The history/personality/issues of a character are near impossible to fit into an application and when you can't look into the future it makes things a bit difficult. Playing a character makes them grow I guess. Things happen to them which change them completely or moderately. They meet new people. Do new things. Screw Hyuugas. Point being a lot of things have happened to Naruto to turn him into the guy he is now.

So, what this means is by asking me a question, any question, about Naruto I can answer with whatever it is that comes to mind. Stuff that has been implied about him for so long but not actually set in stone. It would also clue anyone into why he's the way he is. What makes him a special snowflake. And will also help me a bit as well. So that I can give a good long moment to think about the why and how and when and where. All that fun stuff that a simple blurb wouldn't cover.

C/P MOMENT with minor adjustments


Ask me any question regarding Naruto. ANYTHING AT ALL. They can be specific questions, or generalized questions. I will answer them all in this post. All the frivolous details included despite the way my fingers doth protest.

The 'no godmode on relationships' thing is the same here. I won't assume anything happened between your character and mine nor will I conjure one up off the top of my head. If my character knows your character and we have a history with them then of course I'll go off that. If mine doesn't then with time he totally will. Naruto is a pretty damn social guy so he's bound to get to you sooner or later. Questions about him in general are entirely appreciated as it would help me.

Needless to say, if you ask in this post "what's his opinion of ___" I will answer based on how much he knows them/has interacted with them. Because of course I don't have ENOUGH stuff to do. NO. NO WAY.

;A;


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[info]oriental_dragon
2009-09-13 06:41 am UTC (link)
And while we're at it because I'm a devious and unforgiving little imp, compile a list of Naruto's past relationships including details on the following:
1. who they were with
2. age it occured
3. how long it lasted
4. what went wrong
Chronological order, if you will? Please and thank you~

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

OMG IT WAS TOO LONG WTH HAHAHAHAHA
[info]impellere
2009-09-16 12:00 pm UTC (link)
I was going through Japanese emoticons and I found out OGC is a man masturbating. I'M GONNA START A TREND. ♥

idek if I can last through both parts of this so I'll give the first round a go then get back to the second when I'm less dead. And you just haaaad to ask for the WHY. I keep telling myself I don't sit on you out of love. ONLY. OUT OF LOVE.

ALSO, note. Because Naruto is too fucking scared to date anyone I'm giving you 'fuck-ability' instead. It's the least I can do. And really the most I can do what with Naruto being so annoyingly intimately challenged.

SO HERE WE GO

# -984304038408428402424 = Sasuke
Reason: He's not met the guy ONCE and he already rubs him the wrong way. There's absolutely nothing in Naruto's book of 'things I did wrong to deserve to not get nice things' with Sasuke's name anywhere on it. Therefor the guy deserves a foot up his ass before anything nicer that Naruto could definitely provide. :|

# -984304038408428402423 = Sakon
Reason: Again with the 'never met them' thing. On top of that the only time he's seen the guy in action was when he was being a royal snot to Sakura. Be mean to his bitches and you had might as well stomped on Naruto's pimp grounds. Then again he's met Ukon. Ukon is rather pretty. So based on looks alone Sakon gets a point boost.

# Gaara
Reason:
There is no number for him because Naruto has never met him. But he just HAS to be better than both Sasuke and Sakon, but there's still not enough info there for him to have a real number in Naruto's book. So Gaara is # Gaara. End.

# 1 = Shikamaru
Reason: He knows the guy and Hell, if he thought about it MAYBE in the right light and situation he could be a good lay. If you were the quick get off then get some sleep kind. But I'm answering these questions with all of IC and in game feelings aside. So it's purely emotionless and very detached. Which translates to a fuck no.

Good looking, yeah. He guesses. If you're into fucking your friends. Shut up. But he's not a lazy jackass for nothing. Even wet dreams would end in a cold shower. WHILE STILL SLEEPING. :(

# 2 = Ukon
Reason: Doesn't know the guy well, but on the doable scale he's got something better than Nara at least. Naruto is one of those MUST FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND IN ORDER TO FUCK sort of guys. He's not getting the warm and fuzzies around Ukon just yet and maybe with time he will. THEN the fuzzies and ahaha you're hot works together in harmony. In which case lol Neji already fills the feminine man vibe.

# 3 = Suigetsu
Reason: Swim team. Bitch should be limber. Good times, good times. That being said he's only one higher than Ukon for silly reasons. He's never met Sui, but the jerk challenged him in his own bloody game. That deserves an ass whoppin' of max levels. Doesn't even matter what he looks like. LOOKS DON'T MATTER WHEN PRIDE COMES INTO PLAY GDIT.

#4 = Kiba
Reason: He's known Kiba... for forever. That comes with some really strong levels of bromance. Of course they had the awkward moments of teen-hood and Naruto ignored them beautifully. That being said and promptly pushed aside Kiba is and always will be... a wonderfully sculpted man sent by the heavens above. :( Naruto will hate him for it. Will punch those delicious abs with little effect out of spite.

A-and if the chance should arise Kiba would probably trump him by mass alone. Naruto. Why you so small. I can't say he would hate it? Maybe after. Only because his pride is a dangerous thing. THEN AGAIN they both have their own background history. That alone would lead to something ~wonderful~.

Just sayin'.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

PART II OF PART I /DIES
[info]impellere
2009-09-16 12:01 pm UTC (link)
#5 = Sakura
Reason: Ojeez. What can be said here? He's known the girl for like... a year after her having vanished for most of his life. THINGS ARE COMPLICATED. But if he had to step back for a moment and let his manly urges roam he'd just have to admit that that might be nice to tap. She's got a nice body and a nice charming attitude. He doesn't know if she's a virgin or not and probably never will. Yet she probably knows a thing or two. Probably from books/movies but who's to judge? :|a

#6 = Karin
Reason: GOD. Did you see her photos on that site- No, no. Naruto's only met her once. There's no attachments and dayum girl got some back. She can flirt just as good. Can work that body as well as anyone else. And did I mention the accent? Hrrngh.

Call Naruto 'mister' anyday, bb. Eh-Knee-Day.

#7 = Tenten
Reason: I... Hm.

I really hate that there's not much to put here. And not because I've said it so many times before! But because the mix is so simple. She's beautiful. He's a man who likes beautiful things. She's funny. He likes to laugh. They balance one another and that sort of thing in bed just has to be... unf. So much unf.

But she's still a 7 because fuckability isn't the right term for it. He would fucking ~cherish~ it. God help anyone who does indeed get in her pants. He'll be out for blood. :(

#8 = Ino
Reason: Been there, done that. Went back for more later on because... Damn.

THIS IS THE REASON I'M GLAD I MADE THIS A FUCK QUESTIONNAIRE INSTEAD. He wouldn't dare date someone like Ino. Just like anyone smart wouldn't date someone with Naruto's track record. But they both know the ropes and how to tie them. They match each other on soooooo many levels and will pretty much do -anything- for the person they're screwing. That comes in handy for the kinky which both of them probaaaaaaaaaably are. D:

Let us all hope they always have condoms. I would hate to be the one responsible for if they ever spawn.

#9 = Neji
Reason: B-been there, done it... Have bad dreams about it. Is now socially inept when it comes to sex and all things involved. Flirting... dating. Even the naked women in his magazines give him dirty looks and it's DRIVING HIM INSANE. Dry spell is dry. and long. and painful. oh so very painful.

And the funny thing is he can't even remember if the sex was good. Just that he did Neji. He left the next morning. And things have been awkward since.

BUT SOMETHING... ANYTHING MUST BE THERE. And if they ever do it again it will be grand. Just take my word for it.

AND FINALLY...

#10 = I... just can't say right now. Why?

BECAUSE EVERY RELATIONSHIP HE HAS IS TOO FUCKING COMPLICATED. UJHJDFDFDHHFJKDFHK.

/GOES TO SLEEP

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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