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From: 867_5309 |
Date: January 8th, 2011 07:05 pm (UTC) |
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Sera/Jenny
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Jenny tried desperately to keep her face from betraying any reaction to the brunette's words. It was hard though, her stomach doing a little flip, a clench of guilt passing over her. All of this time she'd been acting so weird about it, and never explaining herself. It was immature, and she felt bad. She supposed it was time to come clean.
"I felt plenty," Jenny replied, only adverting her eyes slightly. "I just.. I mean, I was.. I guess I'm okay with it. I've-- I've kissed other girls.. and stuff. Before.. well, girl, just one girl. A few times. But she's.. she's not into me like that. Which is okay, because I don't know if I'm into her.. like that," she continued, trailing off slightly.
It always felt good with Quinn, but they were so different. They only wanted one thing from each other, and Jenny could learn from her. She felt so much more vulnerable with Sera, and like she had so much more to lose. She was too different from Quinn. They weren't comparable, and yet they had to be. How could she ever explain?
"She's a senior anyway," she said finally, unsure what else to say next. It was getting awkward again, but she wanted it out there. "I feel a lot, when I'm.. around you. But we're friends first, aren't we? I don't want to lose my friend. Does that make sense?"
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From: 867_5309 |
Date: January 8th, 2011 10:29 pm (UTC) |
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Sera/Jenny
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"Probably not. She's in Lalaurie," Jenny replied quietly, taking just a moment to bite at her lower lip. This was the first time she had spoken to Quinn about anyway, really; they had always operated on a sort of silent basis. She didn't talk much with Quinn, let alone about her. "Her name is Quinn. She's really.. she's quite nice, actually.." Jenny murmured, glancing up to meet Sera's eyes, offering a weak smile in return.
"Me either. It's something I just.. worry about.. if anything didn't go right, I mean.. you're amazing, you are, but I'm.. you don't have to deal with the kind of stuff I'm going through. All right? It's just kind of not a good time."
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From: 867_5309 |
Date: January 8th, 2011 11:32 pm (UTC) |
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Sera/Jenny
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Jenny looked fairly relieved, reaching across the table a little, hand offered to Sera. "I'm glad you understand-- I felt so weird, because I had all these like.. nightmare scenarios in my head, that you wouldn't wanna be my friend anymore, or you'd think I was like.. homophobic or something.. so I just like, avoided everything, and then that just messed up everything so much worse," Jenny explained, all in what seemed like a single breath.
"I'm sorry," she added finally, quieting.
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From: 867_5309 |
Date: January 9th, 2011 02:44 am (UTC) |
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Sera/Jenny
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"Thanks," Jenny replied softly, reaching over to give her friend's hand another little squeeze. "I don't think you have much to worry about. I.. haven't hung out with her in a while. Not since that party Charlie had.. I mean, not that it matters. It's not like we're.. I dunno, dating or anything. We never were," she added, trailing off.
It was probably best to leave it at that. It was probably best not to mention how much she had thought about how things would have been if they had dated. She had known from the start, she wouldn't be anything but a friend with benefits for Quinn, but sometimes her heart had wandered. And she was a really good kisser.
"I appreciate all of this, Sera, seriously.. I know it's all kind of crazy. See what I meant when I said you didn't want to get in with me? Trainwreck," she half-joked.
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From: 867_5309 |
Date: January 9th, 2011 03:08 am (UTC) |
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Sera/Jenny
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Jenny bit instinctively onto her lower lip for a moment, unable to help the busted look on her face. "Maybe a little," she admitted slowly. "But it's not going to happen, trust me. She's.. I just don't think it's going to happen. I knew what I was getting into, I'm not.. overly attached," she continued, once again trailing off.
"She's a really good kisser? Like, really good?" she offered, hoping to lighten the mood a little. "But she isn't into cuddling or any of that fun stuff.. well, sometimes she would let me hold her hand.. but I want all of that, if I want to really be with somebody. I want the whole thing. I want cuteness, closeness, just.. stupid, loving affection. I want that."
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