crucio (crucio) wrote in cwf,
@ 2010-02-23 02:09:00

open to Joshua
When Andrew had gotten a text message from Joshua asking to pick him up at the bus station, he didn't ask any questions, he just got into his car and drove to pick up his boyfriend. His parents had just left, having to go off and deal with some things on their own, and their visit had been cut short. Andrew had been planning on just heading back to Cold Water, but Joshua's text had him worried and he wondered if something really awful had happened. After he parked his car, he got out to look around for Joshua, and when he spotted him he went over to gently touch his arm with a frown.

"Hey," he said quietly.

Their relationship had gained a lot of trust recently. Andrew wouldn't have ever left Joshua on his own before, but things were different now. He didn't see Joshua as just a possession anymore. Now he was just in love. Joshua was still his, yes, but it was different somehow.

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impotentwaffle
2010-02-24 12:10 am UTC (link)

Under normal circumstances, Joshua would have never just up and left the haven. His responsibility to his brothers was great and he wasn't the type to take off in a huff without making specific provisions for them. But Wendell and Hunter (as well as many other members of the pack) had taken a lot of the weight off of him. He knew they would be safe there and it allowed him a few temper tantrums that ended in storming off. He'd caught a bus to Seattle, finding that when he got away from the house and into town, that it simply wasn't far enough away. To be honest, Seattle didn't feel far enough either and a very selfish part of him dreamed of begging Andrew to just take him to New York again, putting an entire continent between him and Logan.

The touch made him pull away. He didn't deserve that kind of contact from Andrew. He was going to wait until they were in the car, but seeing the man there just made it all come up. "We shouldn't see each other anymore. Or rather, you shouldn't see me. You should just fucking go. You shouldn't have even come to pick me up. Why did you even come?" It was a lot to say, a lot of spite that was misdirected and confused and that much was clear. Joshua stood there holding his bag so tightly in his hand that his knuckles were even more pale than the rest of him.

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	crucio 2010-02-24 12:42 am UTC (link)
	Andrew drew his hand back with a furrowed brow. He wasn't sure how to even begin to take that, and he frowned with hurt and worry. A little of it was anger, though. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he asked as he reached out to grab Joshua by the arm. "Don't even say shit like that. You wanna leave me now? Is that it? I thought you were happy." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

impotentwaffle
2010-02-24 12:55 am UTC (link)

"Don't be stupid," Joshua flipped back at him but didn't try to jerk his arm away. He couldn't deny the touch he wanted twice in a row, it was just too difficult and even he wasn't that masochistic right now. "I want you to leave me." In his mind, that was completely different. He was just advising Andrew to do the right thing, the smart thing, and get out of this mess while he still could. "And I'll say whatever I want."

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	crucio 2010-02-24 01:01 am UTC (link)
	"Don't be ridiculous," Andrew shot back as he shook his head. "There's no way in he'll I'm leaving you, Joshua. You said you still belong to me, and I belong to you. Why would I leave? You're the only person I really love and you think I can just leave you? If you want to leave, then you have to do it. I'm not doing it." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

impotentwaffle
2010-02-24 01:50 am UTC (link)

"Do you know why I left Coldwater?" Joshua said as he raised his eyebrows, hands slipping into fists at his sides. "Because I was so jealous of that fucking mutt and Logan I couldn't stand to even be in the house. Every time Logan is around, all I can think about doing is crawling onto him and kissing him, fucking him." He said those words to hurt himself as much as he'd said them to hurt Andrew. He was the sort of person that at least felt a small amount of comfort in destroying something completely rather than halfway or half-assed. He wanted to make himself feel more like shit, as far down as he could possibly push himself because he was tired of walking the line between the two of them. Maybe none was better than being deceitful and confused.

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crucio
2010-02-24 02:19 am UTC (link)

Hearing that, Andrew let go of Joshua's arm and just sort of stared at him. He'd been fearing that admission all along, and while a part of him had thought he'd be able to handle it, he was quickly finding out that he was very wrong.

"What do you want me to say," he said quietly. "Fine, then go be with him, whatever. Whatever you want, Joshua," he added, his voice picking up with a line of anger as he turned to walk away.

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impotentwaffle
2010-02-24 02:26 am UTC (link)

"I'm not going to be with him," he said clearly, hand instantly coming up to touch the spot where Andrew had been holding onto him. He missed it already and the sight of Andrew's back was almost too much to stand. But that's what he did; he just stood there, starting to shake in a gargantuan effort to hold back tears. This had been his goal, right? To chase Andrew away, but not because he was going to run back to Logan. It would still feel like a betrayal, and deep down he would just be missing Andrew. That wouldn't be fair to Logan who was clearly finding a connection with the mutt.

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crucio
2010-02-24 02:30 am UTC (link)

The words haulted Andrew for a moment, and he closed his eyes as he swallowed hard. His eyes were burning, and his chest was aching something awful. Never in his life had he thought he'd experience heartbreak, it had always been his goal to avoid it, but here it was. And he knew that's what he was feeling. Heartbreak.

"Joshua, what do you want," he asked, his voice low. "Just fucking tell me what you want. You know I'll fucking give it to you, I always do."

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impotentwaffle
2010-02-24 04:04 am UTC (link)

Joshua filed through all of his options. None of them were what he wanted until he broached the ones that were impossible. He focused his eyes on Andrew's back. "I want to not feel that way about him. I want to not feel like I'm cheating just by looking at him. You can do that, can't you. Your magic could make me not feel connected to him. That's what I want." He wanted some spell that would make it easy to be around Logan without feeling anything for him.

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	crucio 2010-02-24 04:16 am UTC (link)
	Andrew turned around to face Joshua again, and he shook his head a little bit. He wasn't comfortable messing with matters of the heart, not like that. It was too dangerous, and it wasn't fair. "I can't," he said softly. "I wish I could, but it's too risky. I could accidently erase how you feel about me, too." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	impotentwaffle 2010-02-24 04:36 am UTC (link)
	Being denied was not one of Joshua's favorite things. His body stiffened and he immediately figured that Andrew simply didn't want to do it rather than couldn't. "Then hate me," he said sharply. "Don't be weak and take this shit just because you love me. I wouldn't take it from you." That was a lie. He would. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

crucio
2010-02-24 04:40 am UTC (link)

"I can't hate you just as much as you can't hate me, Joshua," Andrew said quietly, and he reached out to captured Joshua's chin in his hand so that he could force the other to look at him. "Don't do this. So you're attracted to Logan. So fucking what. Just don't turn away from me, all right? You're all I've ever wanted. And you're mine, so you can't walk away. I won't let you."

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impotentwaffle
2010-02-24 04:53 am UTC (link)

His jaw clenched, but he couldn't turn his eyes away from Andrew. There was really nothing weak about the man and it made Joshua's body melt. It didn't occur to him that they were in a public place, nothing around him even mattered or registered. "So which is it? You'll give me anything I want or you won't let me walk away?" Deep down, those two things were not opposites, they were the exact same thing.

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	crucio 2010-02-24 04:57 am UTC (link)
	"I know you don't want to end this," Andrew said, his voice softening just a little, but it still had an edge to it. He stepped closer to Joshua and tilted his head down to press a kiss to the other's mouth. "Do you?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	impotentwaffle 2010-02-24 05:32 am UTC (link)
	The kiss was the key, breaking Joshua down and making him whimper with the strain of suppressing emotion. As an answer, he kissed Andrew back, hands coming up to clutch at the sides of his face so that he could crush their lips together harder. He was not going to cry, but he was nearly going to crawl up the length of Andrew's body. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	crucio 2010-02-24 05:39 am UTC (link)
	Andrew slipped an arm around Joshua's body as the boy's bag dropped to the ground, and he lifted Joshua up so that he could deepen the kiss. He was sure that people were watching, but he hardly cared. All he could focus on was Joshua's mouth and how it felt to have him so close. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	impotentwaffle 2010-02-24 06:59 am UTC (link)
	The memory of what it felt like to see Andrew walking away from him was jarring. It made him realize just how lost he would be without him, but he would have withstood it if the man had kept going. When the kiss ended, Joshua relaxed against Andrew's body, relieved that he hadn't screwed things up beyond repair. Andrew was far too amazing for his own good. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

crucio
2010-02-24 07:03 am UTC (link)

Andrew pressed another soft kiss to Joshua's lips before he settled him back down onto his feet. He kept his arms looped around the smaller boy for a few moments though, and pressed his nose in against the top of Joshua's head so that he could inhale the scent of his hair. Finally, he let go and bent down to retrieve Joshua's bag.

"Do you want to go back to Cold Water, or do you want to stay in Seattle for a few days?" he asked softly.

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impotentwaffle
2010-02-24 09:56 pm UTC (link)

"Seattle," he answered without needing time for much consideration. He would call once they got to a more convenient place, and let Wendell know that he had left. He hadn't really been thinking ahead as he left earlier. "Unless you didn't want me underfoot with your parents around." Andrew's parents were a little intimidating, or at least Joshua thought they must be. While he would never admit that the idea of them made him very nervous, it still did.

He reached for his bag. "I can get that." Sometimes he liked to be pampered, sometimes he didn't.

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crucio
2010-02-25 01:36 am UTC (link)

Andre nodded his head and smoothed a hand over Joshua's head before he leaned down to kiss him again, allowing the boy to take his bag. He grabbed a hold of one of the wolf's hands to lead him over to the car. Once it was unlocked, and they were both inside, he reached over to lightly brush his fingers against Josh's cheek.

"Don't ever say stuff like that again," he murmered with a frown. "This thing with Logan, it's attraction. It's more intense because of what you both are." At least Andre was assuming so. "I wish I could connect with you the way he does."

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impotentwaffle
2010-02-25 03:45 am UTC (link)

It was attraction, most assuredly. It was a connection that Joshua didn't understand fully. Logan had been one of the first wolves to make him feel like that and more than likely, he would never forget the rush the other boy could give him. "What happens if I make a mistake? I won't, but what if I did?" A mistake like sleeping wit Logan. He didn't like the idea that Andrew might have to worry about something like that, but he wanted to know how Andrew would react. Would he be forgiving? Would it be over? To think about it made Joshua cringe and nuzzle close to Andrew across the seat.

"Are there sorcerer werewolves? You might die if someone tried to make you one. Promise me you won't try. It's not worth it. I like how I fit together with you now."

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I like how my phone corrects Andrew to Andre sometimes lmao

crucio
2010-02-25 03:59 am UTC (link)

Andrew swallowed and tipped his head back as a quiet sigh escaped him. It was not an easy question to think about, by no means, and it stung at his heart. At least Josh was being honest, though.

"I don't know," he sighed, "Maybe if I was a part of it, it wouldn't be so bad. If I could somehow share it with you. Does that sound ridiculious?" he asked as he turned his head to look over at the other boy.

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lol Andrew is so much more common than Andre though!

impotentwaffle
2010-02-25 06:27 pm UTC (link)

Blinking rapidly, Joshua tried to wrap his head around the notion of both of them at the same time. The sex distracted him a little and he lifted his face up to look squarely at Andrew. "Have you had sex with more than one person at the same time before?"

When Joshua was writhing on top of Andrew, it didn't seem like he was inexperienced when it came to sex. He threw himself into it so completely. But the truth was, Joshua was still quite young and Andrew had been his end all be all of education. He'd always been curious about the man's experience before him.

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	Lol that is exactly what I said! crucio 2010-02-25 10:05 pm UTC (link)
	Andrew shook his head a little bit as he let his fingers smooth against the side of Joshua's jaw. He hadn't had a threesome before, even of he had thought about it. Sharing Joshua with Logan of all people wasn't something he considered a good time, but if it would fix things somehow... "I haven't, no," he answered outloud. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

impotentwaffle
2010-02-25 10:51 pm UTC (link)

"I would have expected that you had," he said honestly. But maybe that was just his perception of Andrew as a very experienced person and of course the next logical step was a threesome. He didn't have terribly good sex logic just yet.

He pushed the thought from his mind as best he could, but he couldn't hide the fact that it got him a little riled up. Those emotions, however, came with guilt. Still, he squirmed over the gear shift and somehow managed to wrap his body around Andrew's in the car. He barely avoided honking the horn, and it was obvious how little he cared if someone walked by and saw them.