rogue_star (rogue_star) wrote in marvel_nextgen,
@ 2010-03-29 17:19:00

Entry tags:

exiles, inactive - patriot, sarah rogers

Needing some answers
Sarah would like to spend as much time with Anya and Molly as she can while she has the tiny chance she has. But with things happening there, there's someone she needs to make at least a little time to talk to. Her arm is healed enough to work her own wheelchair, and she'll be out of it in a couple days. It'll do for now.

She approaches Bucky's temporary quarters at Avengers Mansion and knocks.

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rogue_star
2010-03-31 02:22 pm UTC (link)

She nods. "Thanks Bucky, but its not really a knack I want if it requires feeling like I did after we got pulled out of that world after just one day, like after I left this world last time. What happened between me and Molly just sort of happened. She took care of me after I fought the Abomination and Temujin, it wasn't really intentional, and its already killing me to think of leaving it behind, and its not even really...anything but a date yet. We're not coming back here, and that's probably for the best. Broken hearts hurt too much... I... I'm going to spend the next few days pretending I get to be a teenager for a little bit, and if Gretchen is any indication, the next several months wishing I hadn't. I think its something I need to do... but I don't plan to make a habit of it."

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	wwii_hero 2010-03-31 02:31 pm UTC (link)
	He nods a little sadly. "I wish I could tell you that you can just be a regular teenager. But I'd be lying." He sighs. "But... just remember... and I know it's hard right now... but take the long view. Eventually, you'll get home. Eventually, war will end. It might happen next week. It might happen in 50 years. But it will. End." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

rogue_star
2010-03-31 03:14 pm UTC (link)

She nods. "I appreciate what you're trying to say, Bucky, I really do. But its not necessary." she sits back in her wheelchair. "The war... we weren't winning. We were just buying time. There weren't enough people left to 'win'. The X-Men were an underground urban legend. The F4 live behind a force field, and there maybe, might be an underground railroad. But that was ok, we were doing the right thing. I don't know how long we could have kept it up. Or what kind of life there was. And even that seems forever away. I've been an Exile now for, what is it, three years? Three and a half? I'm not complaining... not really. I have to believe what we're doing is for the greater good. But I don't even know if there's an end to this, and if there isn't... well, one teenage girl is a pretty small sacrifice to make for all the worlds we're saving. Compared to that, it doesn't really matter. I can handle almost dying against the Hulk, or the Abomination, or Temujin, or Holocaust... we don't know what's next. Allison died serving, TJ disappeared, Spider, Morph, Grandma... who knows? Maybe they went home. I hope so. But we have enough to deal with in the right now, because I'd like to try and get the rest of you home too. And whenever that happens, be it tomorrow or fifty years, I'll think about a war we're not winning. For me, that is the long view. And you know, that's ok. I'm comfortable being Crusader, I'm comfortable being a Rogers. I'm strangely ok with the possibility of dying for the greater good on a world that doesn't know I exist as long as I'm doing the right thing. War is easy by now, it is my life by now. But when I can barely deal with telling someone I'd trust with my life that I'm gay, and it took this long to do that? I still carry around the only thing I have left of my first date, from someone I knew for one whole day? I don't even want to try and deal with eventuallys or possibles. I don't know who that Sarah is. I don't need the pep talks or assurances... in a couple weeks, we'll be getting back to work, and I'll be fine."

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wwii_hero
2010-03-31 03:28 pm UTC (link)

He gives her a smile. "Then I won't give you a pep talk. I'll just remind you that someday this life," he gestures around them, "will end. It might mean we're dead, or it might mean that you've returned home, or it might mean something else entirely. But just remember... someday this will end, and it may be your role to take on your hardest challenge of all..." He smiles, and gently pats her shoulder. "...adjusting to an almost-normal life."

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	rogue_star 2010-03-31 03:30 pm UTC (link)
	She nods. "I know. And when that happens, if I live to see it, I'll figure out who that Sarah is. I'm not ready to be her yet, that's too hard. Right now, I just needed to know, if the team found out and it got in the way, that you had my back. Thanks, Bucky." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	wwii_hero 2010-03-31 03:34 pm UTC (link)
	"Even when you don't want it," he replies. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rogue_star 2010-03-31 03:42 pm UTC (link)
	"That helps, and its never bad to have fri... family behind you. I'll see you later. I need to go get Molly's help getting ready for our trip. I'll be back in a week." she adds, wheeling back towards the door. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	wwii_hero 2010-03-31 04:00 pm UTC (link)
	Patriot smiles after her. "Try to let yourself have a good time." Once she's gone, he leans back on the bed. "And maybe someday, I'll actually listen to my own advice..." (Reply to this)(Parent)

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