| Days Off
||[Feb. 13th, 2008|01:55 pm]
I've got another day off work today. It's my normal day off (I have Weds & Fri's off), but yesterday was booked as a holiday from my entitlement.
I've been pretty productive today I guess. Done all the ironing, although there is loads of washing to do. But I can't be bothered with that at the moment. James is having a nap, and so is Christian in fact. I've just finished a round of Peggle.
In case anyone didn't know, I'm doing the Lighterlife diet. I wish I had started an online journal just for the diet, and maybe made a video diary for YouTube. I did think about it at that time, but I just didn't find the time to sort it all out. Maybe it's not too late. I'll go look at YouTube and see how hard it is to upload videos. If it's easy and doesn't require too much file converting etc, then I'll do it.
I've lost around 30 lbs so far. Which is pretty good since it's the most I've lost in my life, but I'm behind schedule. I should have lost nearer to 40lbs by now. I only realised this last night when I calculated it all. I have had some slow weeks when I was on pain killers for my back, so that's put me behind I think.
I've lapsed a couple of times. Small things here and there. A bite of a tomato, or a bit of yoghurt, Christmas dinner, ham, and just various small things. But I decided today that it wasn't going to happen any more. Even though the little things like that aren't enough to put me off my routine, it's still not compliant with the rules, and shows that I'm not understanding my behaviour. I must be completely abstinent, even from sugar free gum and lemon and EVERYTHING, in order to fully appreciate why I got this big in the first place. If I have a bite of something just because I love the taste, that's not acceptable. When I am allowed to eat food again, I will do that all the time. I can't put something in my mouth just because I want to taste it. Everything, regardless of how small it is, has calories. 1 chocolate covered biscuit has 85!!!! calories in it! Oh my god! Did anyone even know that? So YES, just one biscuit WILL hurt. That's like almost half an hour on the cross trainer to burn just ONE biscuit! I'd rather not spend half an hour on the cross trainer burning new fat. I'd rather shift the load I already have thanks. But hey you, feel free to tuck in. I'd love to watch you get fat. :P
It's a hard diet, and I don't fully appreciate the way the counseling is laid out. I don't feel that the weekly videos are productive and I don't feel that they motivate me to attend every meeting. In fact, before I go into a meeting, I pray that the DVD player is broken!
The meetings are laid out like this.
We congregate in the office around 6pm and take it in turns to be weighed, measured, pay and place our food orders. While others are being weighed, we can sit and chat amongst ourselves. It's a small room. Maybe 20 x 15.
After the weigh ins are finished, Jo (the counselor) puts on the weekly DVD. This starts off with 2 presenters (the same ones each time) interviewing a person who has been successful on Lighterlife. It shows their before and after pictures. Next, it goes to someone who gives style tips and make overs to people who have been successful on, or are currently on, the Lighterlife program. Then, it goes to a short interview with one of the founders of Lighterlife. Next is a 5 minute stint with a guy named James who gives you exercise tips. Then it goes to an interview with one of the psychiatrists who helped develop the counseling program. Then it shows a discussion between another psychiatrist/counselor and a successful Lighterlife person. They do some role playing and discuss aspects of the counseling. And then that's it.
It's the same layout, and the same information being given to you EVERY week. They use the same quotes time and again from former and existing Lighterlife people. The exercise man, James, is a complete nonce and the info he gives you is not really helpful in any way. You won't lose weight from what he shows you. In fact, I doubt you would gain anything at all from what he tells you. Everytime they do an interview with one of the founders of Lighterlife, they tell you the same thing. The style tips that are given are complete shite, and in fact, they tell people to focus on their faces if they are fat! 'Add a bit of colour to your face and no one will notice your big gut'...basically. It just repeats itself each week.
I think the meetings should be laid out like this.
We gather in the office at the scheduled time and get weighed and measured one by one, and place our food orders.
Then, we sit together and have a brief chat about our successes over the week, and discuss any other issues people have had while on the diet. Then, we go through our work book which actually discusses and provides the counseling. And then that's it. There is no need for the videos at all. I don't need to be told each week that all other diets are useless and have the rules repeated to me. I don't need to see the same people each week being interviewed and talking of their success. I'm perfectly happy to read about the successes in my workbook, ONCE.
The mens group isn't subjected to the tacky videos! And that's not fair!!!!!!!!! Kate (a stand in for Jo), said to me last night, that this was because men have a shorter attention span, and react to counselling in different ways, so they are on a different plan. They don't even have a bloody workbook! Also, their meetings only last 1.5 hours, and the womens last 2 hours.
Now hold on one friggin minute! What makes the directors of the program think that women have any more time available than men do? We are the ones in general who look after the households, cook the meals and do any other number of untold chores that require quite a bit of our time. And what makes them think that our attention span is any greater than a mans when we are bored senseless?????? Yes, a woman can multi task, which is usually why we all chat rather than watch the videos.
I do hope that they reassess how the meetings are structured for women. The counseling is great, but the way it's laid out is pretty poor. I'd rather talk and do activities than watch a repetitive video. Repetitive videos are not fun to watch. They are boring. I don't like repetitive videos because they don't keep my attention. Repetitive videos bore me senseless.... am I starting to bore you senseless with my repetitive whinging about repetitiveness??????? Yeah, I thought so.
Anyway, I'm very grateful for the diet. I've learned a lot about myself and my behaviours towards food. Without the program I'd still be struggling to admit that I've got a problem at all, and I'm big for every other reason than the fact that I eat too much of the wrong foods. Pete's sake, it would still be YOUR fault I'm fat, because it was never my fault in the first place... ok? :P
Anyway, I've got to go get Luke from school soon and I could do with a quick nap. I better set the alarm on my mobile first so I don't oversleep! Easily happens!